Weirder by the Moment
My mother and my daughter are at my place. My father is at a nearby hotel. I am at the Starbucks across the street from the hospital I am staying at.
My father was kind enough to pick up my daughter on his way to my condo from Washington. My daughter gets scared when my father freaks out when he drives. (For some odd reason, she doesn’t get scared when I freak out when I am driving. Since I do most of my driving in New Jersey, I freak out more than my father does.)
My daughter was so disturbed by riding up with my father that as soon as she got to my place, she told my mother that she wanted me to drive her home on Sunday, only I can’t because I was in the hospital.
The trip to the hospital was the result of my fainting and becoming unconscious while shopping for office supplies (staples, paper clips, model glue). I was about to be released last night when the doctor who examined me saw some problems with my previous health records. This doctor wanted to know how my other doctor came up with the conclusion that I had menstrual cramps and vaginal discharge. There were other things I told the doctor that I didn’t tell him until after the bloodwork was done.
- I have had extreme body temperature fluctuations for the past week. It’s been as high as 101.3 and as low as 96.8 though most of the time I have been at normal body temperature.
- I have lost eleven pounds in the past two weeks. In the past, I would have been stoked because I was obese for a long time, but the sudden loss of weight has me near underweight.
- My farts smell really really bad. The rule of thumb is that your own farts don’t smell as bad, but these last few farts hurt my nose. I can only imagine the damage it is doing to the general public.
- I fell asleep during “Wheel of Fortune.”
More bloodwork is being done in the morning. Hopefully it will just be a pill or two and maybe an antibiotic and I’ll be good to go.
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About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Temperature + fainting = not good on average. 2 summers ago I had empyema, all the nurses wanted to treat me it was that rare – 3 cases in last 2 years in all of eastern Canada. 2 years before i got this, the only “cure” was cutting and leaving the chest open and scrubbing the lungs clean 4 times a day, with a chest pump going all day and heavy antibiotics. Luckily, 3 years before i got it, a student found a working cure while doing her thesis. A nursing student! And it’s an enzyme from some S. American frog! The meaning? ‘Ya never know!
Good luck!
I had stomach surgery in my 20s when I found out I was one of those people who can’t take ibuprofen the hard way.
NO! Not Wheel of Fortune!
I never found out the what the final puzzle was on Friday.
A woman went to the doctor. In his office she said she needed a check up because she farted a lot and even though they were silent and didn’t smell, she worried that there was something wrong. “I’ve farted 3 times since I’ve been here, but you couldn’t hear or smell them, but I want to know what’s causing me to have gas all the time.” He gave her some pills and told her to return in a week.
The next week she returned enraged. “My farts didn’t stink or make any sound until I saw you. Now they smell awful. I can’t stand to be around myself,” she yelled at the doctor.
He replied, “Well, we’ve fixed your sense of smell, now let’s work on your hearing.”