Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

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May 10, 2012 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments

  1. I missed the stripper hot dog vendor story…heading over to look it up.

    Comment by bearmancartoons | May 11, 2012


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