Making Sense of Good News
I stumbled upon some very good news after stumbling upon some very bad news. First the bad news: Florida has purged 53,000 dead voters from the voter registration rolls. This means if I am going to win Florida, I am going to have to campaign to people who are still alive.
The good news comes from the Department of Justice. They are now telling election clerks not to purge the deceased from the voter rolls in other states. This is great news for the campaign as long as I am the the only candidate campaigning in cemeteries and in morgues.
My Florida strategy is going to need a ton of work. I can’t campaign to the deceased anymore because they are being taken off of voter rolls. Florida has the largest senior citizen population in the country. Some of them will pass away between now and Election name and their names will be purged.
Florida is also known for Election Day fiascoes. 2000 had counts, recounts, hanging chads, swinging chads, Chad Ochocinco, voter rolls being purged, butterfly ballots, and yuppie riots. Who knows what will happen in 2012?
It looks like the other 49 states and the District of Columbia will not be purging their voter rolls. While Democrats in Chicago and Philadelphia might think this is good news, they haven’t been campaigning in cemeteries like my campaign has. (Though I was roughed up by a couple of Obama supporters in Philadelphia after a graveyard campaign rally.)
I will be campaigning in New York City (to people who are still living) on Wednesday night. The Southern California Campaign Extravaganza is expecting to get off the ground in the first week of June.
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