Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Problems Abroad

Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris.  He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken.  He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone.  He says his phone is really rather dumb.

Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris.  The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands.  Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam.  He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.

I called him at his hotel this morning.  He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation.  People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent.  He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.

People also thought he was running for the President of France.  They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris.  He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World.  They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.

One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate.   He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.

He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow.  He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”.  It cost him in German popularity the last time.

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June 9, 2012 - Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments

  1. Watch yourself in the Old Country. There is evil everywhere. And don’t go to any redlight district in Berlin. The whole damn place is redlight in my book, I’d just as soon you avoid Berlin.

    Go to Sweden. Go to Norway. Stick your finger in a dyke, it’s much healthier for your finger than anything you can probe in Berlin.

    Comment by John P. Slevin | June 9, 2012

    • The last time I stuck my finger in a dyke, I got in trouble for sexual harassment.

      Comment by albeethayer | June 9, 2012

      • That is what I mean. Our kind is not welcome on that continent.

        Comment by John P. Slevin | June 9, 2012


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