Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Good Sex Scandal is Hard to Come By

One would have figured with the frequency I attend nudie bars that I would have been caught up in a sex scandal by now.  Or that a lonely housewife would have been attracted by my presidential appeal and would want to get involved in a little something-something while her husband was at work.

Albee Thayer suggested I hire a prostitute.  There are a couple problems with that approach.  The first problem is that it’s illegal in every state except Nevada.  The other problem is that I only want the sex so I can get caught in a scandal that would give my campaign publicity, it would mean that i would be spending money on my campaign.  I refuse to spend money on my campaign.

I don’t want to make it look like I am trolling for women for sex.  (Even though I am.)  I tried asking for booty pics until my campaign manager advised against it, citing that I look more like a dirty old man than a presidential candidate.  I was going to send pictures of myself, but we all know what happened when former Congressman Anthony Weiner sent his pics to women.

I won’t be campaigning during the week this week.  I will be spending this weekend in Delaware and next weekend in Rhode Island as I resume my “Three Electoral State Blitz” and try to win the election with winning the three and four electoral states, New Jersey, and New York.


June 12, 2012 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , ,


  1. You could always just make something up. The media tends to report stuff whether it’s true or not.

    Comment by yellowcat | June 15, 2012

    • The media wants more than my word. They want witnesses and pictures. (The racier the better.)

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | June 17, 2012

  2. But women’s rights advocates believe the gender breakdown of the current candidates’ campaign staffs might reflect their overall attitude towards women . They cited the allegations of sexual harassment being leveled at Herman Cain, who also recently made a sexist comment about House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi in a national debate .

    Comment by mercadee | June 21, 2012

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