Political Speak

Politicians have to rephrase many of their ideas so that people would like them.  They also like to distort the meaning of words to their advantage.  When you think about it, “conservatives” don’t conserve and “liberals” don’t liberate.

Sometimes, that is not enough.  Politicians sometimes have to create their own phrases.  Mitt Romney recently coined, “retroactive retirement”, which I think means that he quit working for Bain Capital in 1999, but didn’t consider it a “retirement” until last week.  Former President George W. Bush had a few such phrases.  “Preemptive Strike” and “Enhanced Interrogation” are two of the more common phrases he used.  Former President wanted us to think there was more than one definition of the word, “is.”

I have a few phrases that I have created and/or distorted to my benefit.  Here are a few of them:

• “Independent Pharmaceutical Distributor” – A drug dealer
• “Erotic Consultant” – a prostitute
• “Pakghaniraq” – A place where we like to drop bombs to promote peace.
• “Gay” – an exact number greater than 100 that is derived from anal-retentive inventory takers.  (“Gay” has meant to “happy” to a sexual orientation, to a synonym for “lame.”  I wanted my own definition.

I will probably hear that I shouldn’t stoop to the level of my opponents.  I didn’t want to, but Americans have become too accustomed to looking down at the pool of candidates for office instead of looking up.  The only people who heard of me before today (July 17, 2012) were my supporters.  I would like to thank them for looking up instead of down.

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