Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Olympic Spirit

I like watching the Olympics.  Every four years the best athletes in the world compete in such sports as running, swimming, diving, and gymnastics.  There are also “sports” like archery. badminton, and  trampoline.  I didn’t know that trampoline was an Olympic sport and you can now get a gold medal for doing “Squat-sit-squat” better than anybody else.  Since ping pong (table tennis) is now also an Olympic event, it is only a matter of time before beer pong becomes an Olympic event.  Below are some events I would like to see in the Olympics:

  • Beer Pong – Anybody who questions whether beer pong is a sport has never been able to get a ping pong ball in a cup after 15 beers like I have.
  • Bowling – The sport is normally boring to watch so bowlers would wear tight pants so people watching will keep interested.  (At least I would watching ladies’ bowling.)
  • Darts – If archery is a sport, darts should be too.  Darts is all skill and no apparatus like a bow used for an arrow.
  • Kick Ball – I was awesome in kick ball as a fifth grader.

There are many others events I’d like to see in the Olympics, but I won’t name them all.  If there is an event you want included, feel free to add your suggestion to the comments section.

There are 97 days until Election Day.  I am striving for the gold in the Presidential Election event.  Getting a silver medal in this event will mean nothing but being the most decorated loser.

August 1, 2012 - Posted by | commentary, editorial, election, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. How come they don’t show the trampoline in prime time?

    Comment by bearmancartoons | August 1, 2012

    • Maybe because it’s one of the sports Americans aren’t expected to medal.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 1, 2012

  2. Although I like humor, I now find the Olympics so tawdry and disgusting I can’t even summon a chuckle about them.

    Comment by modestypress | August 2, 2012

  3. I enjoy the winter Olympics far more, being a skier. Also was a competitive swimmer for many (much younger) years but since I can’t get my hands on a kick-ass Michael Phelps Bong(TM) it’s no longer as interesting to watch.

    Comment by Rachael Black | August 2, 2012

    • I find winter olympic athletes to be hotter. (Especially the females.)

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 3, 2012

  4. My dog Otis stares at things, usually small things that scurry. He’s a Grand Champion Starer. I think this should be an Olympic sport. If people can win medals because their horse is a good jumper, I should be able to win a gold medal based on my dog’s ability to stare relentlessly.

    Comment by yellowcat | August 5, 2012

    • I have won quite a few staring contests myself. Then again, I usually have an unfair advantage by having the nicer looking target to look at.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 5, 2012

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