Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Global Warming, Where Are You?

The more I study the environment. the more I learn how the global warming and climate change theories came to be.  Before I explain my theory, I will throw some facts at you so that you will better understand my conclusions.

The planet is billions of years old.  (or 6,000 – depending on whether you believe in evolution or creationism).  The scientific recording of weather has only been occurring for a couple hundred years.  If you divide the time the Earth has existed by one million equal segments, the time spent recording weather is only one one-hundredth of one segment.  This would be like getting a sample of what Americans are thinking by taking surveys of three people.  This is hardly scientific and has a margin of error of approximately 100 percent.

My theory is that the global warming theory started on a hot July day.  People noticed that it was hotter in July than it was in June, and it was hotter in June than it was in May.  These people told their theories to the common folk, and they came to the same conclusion.

My theory of climate change is that it was first discovered in October.  The same people who discovered global warming in July noticed that October was cooler than September, September was cooler than August, and August was cooler than July.

We know the weather of the last two hundred years from keeping records.  We know that it generally doesn’t snow in July and that it’s hard to get a sunburn in January.  (At least in the northern hemisphere.)  We also know that there was an Ice Age when it snowed year round.  We were able to get out of the Ice Age before the Industrial Revolution.  This would conclude that mankind is not the only culprit in changing climates.

Today was the third straight morning that the morning temperature was in the 20s in northern New Jersey.  The average low this time of year is the low-to-mid 40s and the high temperatures are near 60.  There are usually days when the temperature will rise above 60 a few times in March ,(and when I’m a very good boy, once or twice in February.)   It has yet to reach 60 degrees in 2013.  Baseball has been played in the northeast in a tundra.  It is COLD!

Any signs of global warming are non-existent here.  Climate change happens all the time.  I’m willing to bet a million dollars (Zimbabwe) that it will be warmer in May than it is now.

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April 4, 2013 - Posted by | commentary, editorial, environment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , ,

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