A Royal Pain
Getting people to accept my new found royalty has not been easy. I was pulled over for speeding this morning. The police officer refused to accept my claim of diplomatic immunity and being King of the United States and issued me a ticket.
I called the chief of police when I got home and requested that the ticket be dismissed. Even the chief of police refused to recognize my title of “King ” or my diplomatic immunity. The chief and the police officer are lucky that I am not a vengeful king who wants their heads chopped off.
Finding a throne is proving to be more difficult than I had imagined. The chair should look royal, but not gaudy. It should be elevated so people know it’s a throne for a king. The armrests should be wide enough to hold a remote control without having the remote dangle. The one throne I saw was not for sale and is sitting in a museum. I will also need a custom place suitable for holding a beer can when I want to watch a game on TV.
There will be no robe for this king. Instead, I will don a polo shirt with a gold crown embroidered where the alligator on the Izod shirts is located. “KAI” (King Ahmnodt I) will be embroidered and arc above the crown.
There is still work to be done before the Kingdom becomes fully operational. The hard part will be getting the moat around my condo unit without it bothering the neighbors next to me on either side or the neighbor below me. I also have to find a suitable place for a drawbridge and hope the condo board doesn’t get too upset once I have it installed.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.