Government Shutdown

The way President Obama is handling the “government shutdown” is but another example of why I would have been a better president than him.  Below are some reasons why:

• Only “Non-essential” services are shut down.  The question isn’t what is essential but who decides what is essential.  I would have shut down the IRS, but not because everybody hates it.  I would shut it down to send a message to Congress that neither they nor I will get paid as long as there is a shutdown because there is no revenue being collected.
• I’d keep the national parks open because people need to get out more.  By  the time this shutdown is over, it will be too cold to enjoy the parks.
• The NSA is working as normal.  Nobody at the NSA really likes me (except the guy in the corner cubicle who always like to start a ruckus.)
• I’d not only close the Bureau of Wild Horse and Burro closed during the shutdown, I’d close it permanently.  I hope the five people who own a wild horse or a burro understand that the 300,000,000 Americans who don’t own one feel that a federal agency isn’t really necessary.

If you cannot afford a prostate exam, the TSA will perform one for you at no additional charge if you plan on flying on an airplane.

UPDATE: The move has been delayed by a week.  The official activity will return on Columbus Day.  (Thanksgiving Day in Canada)