I Have to Speak Out
Despite my personal life getting complicated, I have been able to hit the campaign trail. There is a growing dislike of Canadians from everybody that I talk to. The hatred started building last month when US government officials were contemplating taking my advice and deporting Canadian spy Justin Bieber. It built up a bit more last week when Canada’s men’s and women’s hockey teams beat their American counterparts in the men’s semifinals and the women’s gold medal games, respectively.
The final straw has come this week with Canada invading American air space with their “Operation Polar Vortex”. I am convinced that this is a directive given out by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. I have decided not to wait until “President” Obama decides he is going to do something. The planning stages are already underway for what I am calling, “Operation Gulf Melt” aimed at Canadian curling rinks. Anybody can roll a stone on ice, but it takes American talent to skip a stone on water.
I am currently having difficulties finding a place to host my
radio and television shows podcasts. My father doesn’t like it that I have taken to yelling and my mother keeps a bar of Safeguard nearby. They are both doing better, but neither able to live alone.
I will be in Delmar (either Delaware or Maryland – I forget which one, though the two Delmars do border each other.) campaigning this Friday and Saturday. I hope to see you there!
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