Naming Hurricanes and Natural Disaster Prevention Reposts
This was originally posted a few years ago. It’s sad about people named Sandy, Katrina, and others constantly having their names associated with disasters. Politicians love having things after them. They have schools, post offices, parks, and streets named in their honor. Why noy name a storm that does as much damage as their poor policies named after them? Below are my original proposals for names. They can be changed as new people get elected. In order to show bipartisan fairness, there are two lists alternating between Democrats and Republicans.
- The first tropical system will be named after Democrats in odd years and Republicans in even years.
- The names shall alternate between parties.
- New names shall be used as old politicians retire or die.
Proposed Odd Year Names:
Proposed Even Year Names:
NATURAL DISASTER PREVENTION PROGRAM
Many politicians have come up with plans on what to do after a natural disaster happens. They have plans (or should) for such disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, New Coke, and blizzards. I believe I am the only presidential candidate who has a plan to prevent these disasters from happening to begin with. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. (Especially with a weak dollar.) Here are some of my prevention plans:
- Hurricane prevention – The time to attack hurricanes is before it develops to a tropical depression. Send a bunch of fans up in the air via weather balloon. Point the fans into the wind, turn them on, and the wind from the fans will cause enough sheer to prevent hurricanes from developing.
- Tornadoes – Tornadoes often form along a front, starting off as a thunderstorm. As soon as it starts to become a thunderstorm, drop anti-static sheets into the clouds from above. This will absorb enough power from the storm clouds to discourage further development. The worst you will have is light rain with a slight breeze.
- Earthquakes – I am among those who believe that earthquakes are caused by abnormalities that occur in orbit. I would send satellites in space to monitor the orbit and send information of any abnormalities so they can promptly be taken care of.
- New Coke – In my defense, I was only 12 years old when it came out. Much to Coca-Cola’s credit, they soon realized what a fiasco they had and went back to something closer to original Coke. (The only difference I noticed was that the sugar was replaced with high fructose corn syrup.
- Blizzards – I like them and don’t want to do anything with them. The secret to enjoying a blizzard is to stock up on hot chocolate, chicken soup, alcohol, and marshmallows. Make sure you are home before the snow starts so you don’t get stuck in it like I always did last year.
Instead of spending billions of dollars fixing things that break during disasters, we should spent a few dollars making sure disasters don’t happen. This will save the economy and leave you with more money for booze and munchies.
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