Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Secrets I Will Take to My Grave

It is important for a presidential candidate to be able to keep secrets.  The President of the Unites States is given confidential information every day.  If this information is leaked, it could give the enemy an upper hand.  Sometimes the enemy is a terrorist group or a leader of a rogue nation,  Other times, it’s a political opponent that is the enemy who can destroy you with leaked secrets.  Below are some secrets I will be taking to my grave:

  • Grandma Oudda’s one-night tryst with one of Congressman Steny Hoyer’s political opponents.  Since Steny Hoyer beat the opponent anyway, there’s no reason to mention his or her name.
  • The secret to the marinade that Olvey’s Steak House in Dover, Delaware uses.  You will never hear it from me that the secret is two drops of vanilla extract.
  • I will never rat out the police officer who gave me my first speeding ticket that I saw him buying drugs from my neighbor a few months later.  The police chief would not like that.
  • I would never tell on my mayor.  Sure he took $5000 from the town treasury fund to help pay for his personal car, but it was on sale for a limited time more.  If he waited longer, then he would have to take more money to pay for the car.

Secrets told to me stay with me.  I will be a President that you can trust.

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April 1, 2015 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , ,

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