Canada’s New Plan of Attack
For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export. Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber. The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic. It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.
First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada. Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State. Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.
There are two ways to handle this: Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada. This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income. The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States. That’s why I just came up with a third idea. He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government. This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.
I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting. 84 shopping days until Election Day.
Canada Does It Again!
For years Canada has been hammering away at American entertainment by dumping spies like William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber into American entertainment. When they aren’t bombarding the Great American Entertainment Industry with spies, they are taking hockey teams from Atlanta and moving them to Canada.
It first happened in 1980. The Atlanta Flames, with American gold-medal goalie Jim Craig were snatched from Atlanta and moved to Calgary. The good people of Atlanta did not get to see the Flames hoist the Stanley Cup in their city in 1989. It has happened to Atlanta again. This time Winnipeg stole the Thrashers from Atlanta. They even took Dustin Byfuglien (a fine American) with them.
At least when America takes a franchise from Canada, we only take one team from each city. Winnipeg (Jets), Quebec (Nordiques), Montreal (Expos) and Vancouver (Grizzlies) have only had one franchise taken from them each and it was spread among three sports. What Canada has done is target one city (Atlanta) and one sport. (hockey)
I have taken notice even if no other politician has. As President, I will make sure no Canadian city will ever get the Braves, Hawks, Falcons, Georgia Tech, or any other Atlanta sports franchise. Canada will not get any franchise from any American city while I am president. Taking hockey teams from Atlanta will cease once I am elected.
Canada’s Newest Spy
Just when I thought that Canada couldn’t cause more harm to the American entertainment industry, they have released a new spy to wreck havoc. The most disturbing trend is the latest spy is a minor. The Canadian government is now sending children to taint American entertainment. Stephen Harper has got to be the most evil man on Earth for unleashing Justin Bieber on unsuspecting Americans who only wanted to be entertained after a long day at work or school.
This is what America is now up against. WARNING: This is NOT entertainment!
Call President Obama and demand he take action on the contamination of American entertainment. Let him know that Stephen Harper has to be disciplined for his heinous actions!
Obama Hates Canada More than I Ever Could
I have talked about my positions about Canada in the past. As much as I have a grudge against Canada, even I think what is about to happen is too inhumane and probably violates the Geneva Convention.
President Obama is allowing former President George W. Bush to go to Canada. The former president is going to give a speech in Calgary on March 17th. The subject will be the former president.
My heart goes out to all Canadians, especially those in Alberta and the Greater Calgary area.
Obama’s Trip to Canada
President Obama went to Canada today and had discussions with Prime Minister Harper. They spent time talking about trade and the environment. They did not talk about the heinous actions of former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau and Brian Mulroney. Trudeau sent spies William Shattner and Anne Murray to the United States to sabotage the entertainment industry. Mulrooney did the same thing with spy Celine Dion.
I am willing to offer a deal. Canada takes their spies back. In return, as president, I will not declare war. I will also try poutine. I’ll even eat the cheese curds. I am normally a finicky eater, but I will do my part to promote good relations with Canada
Now God is Mad at Canada
via The Associated Press: Witnesses: Large meteor streaks across Canada sky
Meteors striking Canada proves what I have been saying: Canada was wrong for allowing William Shattner and Celine Dion to infiltrate the United States. Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Parliment should take action and make these “entertainers” return to Canada.
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Canada’s Latest Weapon
Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man. Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta. Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada. Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.
If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.
I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States. I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada. If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.
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March 24, 2015 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, politics, satire | Alberta, Calgary, Calgary Flames, Cuba, Cuban Revolution, Fidel Castro, immigration, patriotism, Washington Capitals | 1 Comment