Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2012 in Review – June

June was a slow month but it did have its good moments.  I did some campaigning in the eastern US and southeastern Canada.  Albee Thayer showed his ability to reach out to the zombie demographic.  I also received my first celebrity endorsement in a while.

Congressman Anthony Weiner caused controversy within his own party by endorsing Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for President.

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner caused controversy within his own party by endorsing Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for President.

June was a good month for campaigning in America but a bad month for campaigning in France and Germany.  Aside from confusing the last name of the President of France with a different European country, I also had problems with my laptop and phone.  The only person who was receiving my telepathic distress calls was a homeless man who was a Romney supporter.

June was also a good month for supporters to publicly show their vocal support like in the video below:

June did not end on a good note.  A heat wave in the east got to me, especially when I went to Washington DC to visit my daughter.  It was hot and humid, like something I never experienced living in DC before.

December 28, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, commentary, endorsement, environment, humor | , , , | 1 Comment

Running Mate Needed (Again)

I have received an e-mail from my 2012 running mate Albeeee Thayer today saying that he would be unable to run as my running mate.  He wants to expand his business and campaigning would take time away from that.  He did wish me well and said he would continue to campaign for me when he has the time.  He also wanted to send a note for anybody in the Abilene, TX area that he will host future “Orgies for Abstinence” rallies in his home starting with the next one on April 5, 2013.

I will be changing my e-mail address soon.  There seems to be a lot of people sending e-mail to me at my current address who say that they get a message that my address does not exist.  The spammers all seem to find it and I do get e-mails from many supporters.  I will have a new address soon.

Don’t forget to check my livestreaming of “How to Hang-Glide off a Fiscal Cliff” tonight at 8:30PM Eastern /6:30PM Mountain time.

December 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Can It Get Any Worse?

I picked a bad week to have a bunch of things go wrong.  I was supposed to attend a rally at  a veteran’s hall in Washington Township, New Jersey.  Nobody told me that there are at least two Washington Townships in New Jersey.  This is worse than the Canadian Football League having two teams called the Rough Riders.  (Saskatchewan Rough Riders and Ottawa Rough Riders [now Renegades].)

The following also happened this weekend:

  • I ran out of gas trying to get from the wrong Washington Township to the correct Washington Township.  I ended up missing my own rally.  “I’m Not Here at an Ahmnodt Heare Rally” might as well been th headline in the newspapers.
  • My computer crashed – I am currently using my campaign manager’s old laptop (which is on its last legs.)  It is a Windows XP laptop and the Service Pack 2 was never updated or installed.  I ordered a custom-built laptop which I should get later this week.
  • The water pipe in my apartment is leaking.  This is bad news considering that my floor is concrete based and has to be taken out to get to the pipes.  My bedroom looks like an astroturf football after a soaking rain.
  • The Washington Redskins lost to the New York Giants 27-23 after taking a 23-20 lead with less than two minutes to go in the game.  This especially hurts considering I now live in New Jersey about an hour from the stadium.
  • No “Family Guy” tonight.   It has been preempted by the NLCS between the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants.

Before you answer the question, please note that it was a rhetorical question.  I am looking forward to debating tomorrow night (even if it’s the same way I had to debate the first two times and Albee Thayer had to debate in the Vice President Debate.  You are invited to join me even if the other candidates don’t want you to join them.

October 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, debate, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Can It Get Any Worse?

2012 NFL Season – Week 6

I apologize for posting this late.  It has been a rough week.  Most of the week was spent training Albee Thayer on the Vice-Presidential debate.  We also spent time assembling our administration team at the nudie bar.

I finally had a winning week.  It took a while, but I think it was because my mind is more in sync with the regular refs than the replacement refs.)  Add autumn air to football and I think I will be above .500 soon.

Last Week: 8-6 (.571) Best Bets: 2-1 (.667)

Season to Date: 32-45 (.416) Best Bets: 6-9 (.400)

10/11 8:25 ETPittsburgh-6At Tennessee

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
10/14 1:00 ET Cincinnati -2.5 At Cleveland
10/14 1:00 ET At NY Jets -3.5 Indianapolis
10/14 1:00 ET At Tampa Bay -4 Kansas City
10/14 1:00 ET At Atlanta -9 Oakland
10/14 1:00 ET At Baltimore -3.5 Dallas
10/14 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -3.5 Detroit
10/14 1:00 ET At Miami -4.5 St. Louis
10/14 4:05 ET New England -3.5 At Seattle
10/14 4:05 ET At Arizona -4 Buffalo
10/14 4:25 ET At Washington -2 Minnesota
10/14 4:25 ET At San Francisco -6.5 NY Giants
10/14 8:30 ET At Houston -3.5 Green Bay

 

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

10/15 8:40 ET At San Diego  PK Denver

Byes: Carolina, Chicago, Jacksonville, New Orleans

Projected winners against the point spread in Bold – Best bets in Italics

October 13, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, debate, humor, NFL Picks, satire | , , | Comments Off on 2012 NFL Season – Week 6

Albee “Debating” Tonight

My running mate Albee Thayer will be “debating” tonight.  Like other independent and third party candidates, he will not be able to be on stage debating Vice-Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan.  Instead, Albee will be using the same chat room I used last week.

He has been here in New Jersey for the last couple days.  We have been practicing debating and answering questions.  I am confident that Albee will do well and he would have won the debate if he was invited.

The debate is at 9:00PM Eastern 6:00 Pacific on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, News12 New Jersey, and PBS.  The best answers will be supplied by Albee Heare here.

October 11, 2012 Posted by | Albee, debate, humor, Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, politics | , , | Comments Off on Albee “Debating” Tonight

Internal Squabbling

I held a meeting this morning with my campaign team.  It was supposed to be brief, but there seems to be friction in what direction the campaign should go.  I finally got to meet my running mate met Albee Thayer today.  Although he is an ass, he would still be a better vice-president than either Joe Biden or Paul Ryan.

The first thing the team squabbled about was how to get additional exposure.  I had suggested that Albee Thayer get his own BlogTalk Radio show, WordPress Blog, and UStream channel.  He preferred to maintain his course of writing letters to newspaper editors why Americans should vote for the Heare/Thayer ticket though none of his letters have yet to be published.

There are some on the team that suggest I start throwing money into the campaign.  I had thought about buying some ads, but Albee reminded me that most of my supporters are voting for me because I have refused to throw money into the campaign.  He said he has spent no money on my campaign but did help get some ads for Noes Toiaqui’s campaign when she ran for President of Mexico.  (The one drawback with those ads was they were in English.)

The last issue was where to hold the Election Night party.  I will be at the Legends Resort partaking in the semi-annual ” Orgies for Abstinence” awareness program.  There are only 50 days until Election Day, meaning it’s only 51 days until the 2016 Election cycle begins.

September 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Internal Squabbling

Vote Absentee!

You’re looking at the title of this blog entry and wondering why the emphasis on voting absentee.  There a few very good reasons.

The first and most important reason is because voting is an important decision.  It is more important than the many scrumptious options on the Denny’s menu.  You are deciding who gets to ruin (or save – if you vote for me) your future.

The second reason is that most people vote after work.  It seems that everybody gets to the polls to vote seconds before you do so you end up wasting hours before voting.  All absentee voting involves is filling out the ballot and mailing it in.

The third reason is that there are many different voting machines and many of them don’t have any paper to show how you vote.  With an absentee ballot, you can make a copy or scan your ballot and you can show how you voted.

The fourth reason is that you can spend time campaigning for me (as long as you are at least 101 feet away from a polling place.  Campaigning any closer is illegal.  This is what I will be doing on Election Day.

The fifth (and second most important reason) is because spelling counts.  Because my campaign is a write-in campaign, my name has to be spelled correctly.  The only acceptable spelling is AHMNODT HEARE (A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters) (Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic).  They will frown on spelling errors like Ahmndot Herae, Amnott Heer, I’m Not Here, Mitt Romney, or Barack Obama.  Voting absentee from home means you can check the spelling before mailing it in.

Don’t forget to vote for Albee Thayer for vice-president.  Remembering Heare and Thayer is half the battle in voting.  The other half is remembering Ahmnodt and Albee and which first name matches with which last name.

On Tuesday (Monday is Labor Day), contact your county (parish for those of y’all in Louisiana) board of elections and request an absentee ballot.  It will save hours of waiting on Election Day.

August 31, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, commentary, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire, voting, write-in | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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