Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, Paul Ryan, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Weekend in Review

I am not sure what to make of the last week.  Things did not go as planned, but i was able to give an impromptu speech in front of 200 people at a wedding reception I crashed in Cape May, New Jersey.  The reason why I crashed the wedding reception was because I crashed their wedding.  Rick and Melodi had their wedding on the beach.  I was walking on the beach and saw a bunch of chairs on the beach.  I was getting tired from walking on the beach and wearing a suit that I wore for a couple rallies indoors in air-conditioning.

The weird part about the wedding and reception is that I was able to blend in despite nobody knowing who I am.  (I found out late in the reception that one of the groom’s ushers was a frequent listener to my radio show.   The bride’s aunt once dated my running mate while they were in college in the late 1970s.  Neither the bride or groom had no idea who I was or why I was there.  I felt a bit guilty as I was having a good time, so I gave them a check as a wedding gift and invited them to a barbecue at my place on Labor Day.

I was a gentleman and refrained from discussing politics during the wedding and reception.  I wouldn’t have discussed it at the after-party either except that people were wondering who I was and what I did for a living.  I don’t know if anybody at the wedding will vote for me, but I did get a new client for my business and I will be in Trenton next week working (and campaigning.)

99 days until Election Day.  Tell all of your friends and at least one enemy about Ahmnodt Heare!  copy and paste this link “http://tinyurl.com/ahmnodt” as your status on Facebook and let’s get this ball rolling!

July 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quasi-Hiatus

My schedule has become a lot tighter than I thought it would be.  My business clients all want more elaborate projects as their businesses grow.  I am making more campaign speeches.  I will be giving a speech at the Kickball Hall of Fame dinner tonight in Dover, DE.  I still have my daughter staying with me for another week and a half and I can’t find a camp or anything to bring her to during the day so she is whining about nothing to do while I am working.

My posts will be limited for the rest of this month.  In addition to what I stated above, I will be going away to attend a wedding in two weeks.  There will be no posts from July 25 to 29.  Albee Thayer told me he will be mountain climbing in Florida that week and will be unable to post during my absence.

I will try to take to social media and doing a video podcast this Sunday evening.  If you would like to watch it, leave a time that is best for you to view it, and I will set it up at a time convenient for the most people.  If it’s late, I’ll probably be doing the show in my “Hello Kitty” pajamas.

July 13, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Quasi-Hiatus

All is not Lost

My weekend in Europe did not go as well as I expected.  There wasn’t much traction in Paris nor in Berlin.  The laptop crapping out on me did not help matters.  The laptop would have come in handy campaigning at a cemetery near downtown Berlin.  My experience is that people only communicate in one language once they pass away.  My German is limited to “Bier” without the laptop to help me translate.

While my weekend went pretty much wasted in Europe, my running mate has helped strengthened the campaign with a rally in Corpus Christi, TX.  I have to admit that I have never heard him give a speech (I haven’t even met him yet), he has done a masterful job speaking to a major demographic.

The lady on the left listened intensely to Albee Thayer’s speech in Corpus Christi, TX. She was later spotted downtown handing out campaign literature.

My computer is currently undergoing repairs.  I am blogging from the library today and probably tomorrow.  If the computer cannot be fixed, I will be going to buy a new one.  Hopefully the next one can take the weight of cargo being dropped on it should I decide to fly overseas again.

June 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, satire, speech | , , , , | 5 Comments

Attention Non-Americans!

Americans like to think that the U.S. President is the leader of the “Free World.” In spite of this, non-Americans have no say in who gets to be the leader of the free world. I want to change that, but I will need your help. I need you and all of your friends (and most of your enemies) to mail a letter and a ballot to the U.S. Department of State. The letter should read something like this:

Dear Secretary Clinton:

I keep hearing that the President of the United States is the leader of the free world and that America champions democracy. And as a citizen of voting age living in the free world, I am enclosing my ballot for President and Vice-President of the United States.

Sincerely,

This will be what your ballot looks like:

President: Ahmnodt Heare – Independent

Vice President: Albee Thayer – Independent

And the address to mail the letter and the ballot:

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

U.S. Department of State

2201 C Street NW

Washington, DC 20520, U.S.A.

You can also send the letter to any U.S. Embassy.  But please don’t sent them to Embassy Suites.  While their headquarters are based in the United States, they are not affiliated with the United States government.

March 6, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire, voting | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Following the Leader

NOTE: This entry was written by Albee Thayer.  Ahmnodt will resume tomorrow.

Ahmnodt Heare asked me to write something today while he observes Vanna White Day (whatever that is.)  I will discuss some of the things I have learned from Ahmnodt since he named me to be his running mate.

  • Campaigning in cemeteries – I still have a lot of learning to do.  I don’t know how Ahmnodt is able to know he is getting results, but I can’t tell.  I talk to them, but I can’t tell if what I am saying is getting through.
  • Campaigning abroad – Not only have I been campaigning for the Heare and Thayer ticket, but when I am in Mexico, I have been campaigning with Independent candidate for President Noes Toiaqui.
  • Adding to the platform.  Ahmnodt asked me if there was anything I wanted to add.  I didn’t have an answer then, but I have been working on it.  It will be on voting reform and I hope to present it next week.

I watched the few Republican debates, but it’s been like getting root canal done by an auto mechanic.  I haven’t watched lately but I heard I am better off for that.  I am preparing to debate Joe Biden and whoever will be the vice-president candidates for the Republican Party and Vermin Supreme.

The campaign trail awaits me.  I’ll be out there.  Albee Thayer for America.  Albee Thayer for You.

February 18, 2012 Posted by | Albee, campaign, election, humor, issues, Platform, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Here They Come!

Brace yourselves, America!  Last night I received a text from my running mate Albee Thayer that there is a superPAC in the works in Texas that plans to run anti-Ahmnodt Heare ads on television and radio in February.  Their original plan was to run an ad during the Super Bowl, but NBC nixed the ad stating they do not run political ads during the Super Bowl.

If you are looking for an internship with a major media company, Then write NBC, tell them that Ahmnodt Heare does not have an embed for his campaign and that you are willing to be that embed.

Tonight will be the last debate (8:00PM EST – CNN) the Republicans will have until February 22.  This is good news for people who have been playing drinking games during debates because their livers will finally have a chance to heal.  I am the only presidential candidate to play drinking games while debating so I am the only candidate who feels the pain.

I still haven’t gotten a microphone for my computer so production for my video and radio ads are on stand-by.  I am hoping to have them both finished this weekend.

January 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, debate, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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