Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I’m Not Ready

Former Secretary of State and Senator Hillary Clinton announced today that she is running for President.  Senators Rand Paul and Ted Cruz have already announced that they are going to run along with Ben Carson.

As bad as things are right now, I do not know if any of these people can improve things, let alone getting America on track to a prosperous future.  Same goes for Jeb Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Marco Rubio, and Dave Mustaine.

It is not because these people are not capable to bring good times to America.  It is because it is not in their best interest to improve America.  They are more interested in their legacy and making sure THEY have a prosperous future than making sure that you and I do.  This is modern-day American politics at its worst.

This is my third campaign for President.  I have learned a few things in my previous campaigns.  The first thing I learned is that the only way to take money out of politics is to not put money into politics in the first place.  This belief is the reason why I do not ask for political campaign contributions.  We cannot expect a candidate to be fiscally conservative in office if he or she is not fiscally conservative on the campaign trail.  What they do on the trail is a reflection of what they will do in office.

I’m not ready for Hillary… or Ted… or Rand… or Dave (Though it would be cool if Megadeth played at my Inaugural Ball.)

April 12, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Iowa GOP, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I’m Not Ready

Canada’s Latest Weapon

Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man.  Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta.  Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada.  Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.

If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.

I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States.  I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada.  If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.

March 24, 2015 Posted by | Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Learning From Ferguson

It is unfortunate that Americans have not learned from Rodney King and Trayvon Martin.  Once again, cars were set on fire and businesses were looted.  There has to be a stop to this.  In order to stop history from repeating itself, one has to get to the root of the cause and spread Roundup weed killer on it until the root is dead.  Here is how I would handle things to make sure this doesn’t happen again:

Reading the Verdict – Have the verdict read in the morning before 10:00AM.  Nobody likes rioting when one is tired and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.

Keep it Peaceful – Most of the greatest achievements towards equality were the result of peaceful actions like Martin Luther King.  People have no sympathy for those who choose to act like they are in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Focus Your Anger – Instead of burning everybody’s cars and looting businesses, take out your hostility on those who caused you to feel hostile.  Don’t burn down your neighborhood.  It keeps the police around too long.  Instead, hold a sit-in at a courthouse or police station.  And although the Department of Motor Vehicles usually has nothing to do with these situations, have a sit-in there too.  You will get supporters because everybody hates the DMV. (Even the people who work there.)

If you are a district attorney, please don’t give a case to a grand jury with the intent with hoping that they will not indict the defendant when the defendant has allegedly caused death or injury to a person.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and may your Black Friday shopping be less of a riot than what Ferguson went through.

 

 

November 25, 2014 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Learning From Ferguson

The New Battle Part II

The other day I mentioned my dislike of stores having “Black Friday” sales early Thanksgiving evening.  Today, pop-up ads will get to feel my wrath.  They suck – here’s why:

I have a computer that is pretty old.  Though my internet speed is pretty fast, it takes a while for the processor in my computer to process all of the data that streams to the computer.  I like to log on the computer, read what I need to read in e-mail and news sites, and get off to do things I have to do.
Pop-up ads are speed bumps on the information superhighway.  (It’s been a while since anyone has used the term, “Information Superhighway”, hasn’t it?)  Things go smooth until the computer hangs waiting for an ad to pop up.  the most annoying part of these pop-up ads is that they are NEVER for anything I want or use.  I have yet to spend a dime from ads shoved in my face.  I am baffled that people buy products from ads that are annoying.

How many of you have you ever tried the product above?  I never had, largely because I could only stand,hearing  “HEAD-ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!” once or twice before the urge to throw the remote control through the television screen becomes strong enough to give the person applying the product a worse headache.

Advertising is a large part of life.  I have no problems with ads that are properly placed and aren’t annoying.  If I wanted to get irritated, I would have gotten married.  When I’m at home or at work, I want things to go as smoothly and as pleasantly as possible.  Prostitution is a multibillion dollar-per-year business without using ads because prostitutes know that they can’t sell their services if the johns get annoyed.
My solution is strong, but it will work with help from those of you who are annoyed as I am:

  1. Boycott the products that are popping up,  That alone will not be enough as I don’t buy pop-ups, but it’s the foundation of steps needed to stop pop-ups.
  2. Write to the webmaster stating your displeasure in popup ads.
  3. (If the first two steps do not work) Boycott the static ads that aren’t popping up.  One might say that it’s unfair that legitimate ads be boycotted, but so is shoving ads in your face and hogging up resources on your computer.
  4. Quit visiting that website.  If nobody goes to a website, nobody will buy ads because nobody will see ads.

I haven’t made many campaign promises, but I promise to be less annoying than either the Republican, Democratic, or Green Party candidates. (And equally as annoying as the Libertarian Party candidate.)  Together, we can quit getting annoyed.

October 24, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The New Battle Part II

The New Battle Part I

There are two topics that I would like to discuss because the other candidates will not take the time to address.  “Black Friday” and “Pop-Up Ads.”  These need to be addressed because they bother me and they probably bother you as well.  I will cover “Black Friday” today.

Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving in the United States or the day after Columbus Day in Canada) is traditionally the day that retail stores make a profit for the year as more people shop on that day than on any other day of the year.

It used to be that stores would start decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving week.  Most stores are fully decorated for Christmas by Halloween and some stores start decorating as soon as the Back-to-School sales period ends.

Once upon a time, Black Friday sales started on Friday.  It started at Noon many years ago,  Than it got moved to 8:00AM, than 6AM, than 5AM, and finally, Midnight.  The retail stores realized that they were running out of Friday to start.  Black Friday started at 8:00PM a few years ago and 6:00PM last year.

It was bad enough having to stay up to get in line for a Black Friday sale in the cold Northeastern nights.  Moving it to Thanksgiving Thursday cuts into very valuable time with the family watching football.

Here is my plan to stop Black Friday Sales during football Thanksgiving:  I will boycott and store that has a Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday.  This boycott will not just be for Black Friday.  It will not be just for the holiday season.  It will be for as long as they insist on ruining the Thanksgivings of their employees and of the loved ones of people who shop on Thursday.

October 21, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby in stating that Hobby Lobby did not have to provide coverage for contraception to their employees because they objected on religious grounds.  What needs to be done now is not bickering over whether the decision was the correct decision or not.  People who cannot afford contraception still need contraception.  My solution is to have a fundraiser and raise money so these people can have access to contraception.

It is important to make sure these people get contraception for two reasons: 1)If they cannot afford contraception, then they cannot afford raising a baby.  The more people needing help raising a baby, the greater the financial strain it will be for all Americans.  2)If they can’t figure out a way to get a few bucks for condoms or a few more bucks for the pill, then they’re probably not smart enough to figure out to hold their sexual urges as much as possible until things get better financially.

If there is enough positive response to this idea, I will set up a donation page sometime after the Fourth of July holiday weekend.

July 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

June 29, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, health care, humor, issues, Personal Life, politics, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Have to Run for President

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