Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

More Dangerous than Kim Jong Un

Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper

I apologize to those of you who thought that this was going to be about me. It’s not. It is about the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper.  Kim Jong Un appears to be dangerous because he talks a lot of trash and backs it up by firing bottle rockets.  Stephen Harper is a silent man.  His weapons are covert and are not noticed until they have penetrated deeply into American culture.

His spy program is unparalleled in the cloak-and-dagger industry.  While other countries tend to get their spies to blend in with the general populace, Canadian spies climb to the top of their respective fields.  This is most true in the entertainment industry.

Why does infiltrating the Great American Entertainment Industry cause a big threat to national security?  Because entertainment is the last great export America possesses.  Canada has continually diluted American entertainment by sneaking spies like Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, and Norm MacDonald to sneak into the American entertainment industry.  It has gotten to the point that American entertainment is beginning to look like Canadian entertainment.  The transformation will be complete when poutine and Timbits become staples in “green rooms” across the country.

Stephen Harper must be stopped NOW!

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April 1, 2013 Posted by | Canada, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on More Dangerous than Kim Jong Un

Sixty Days to Go

In a campaign season that seemed to start days after the 2008 elections, Americans will be voting for (among other things) President of the United States.  These sixty days will go like lightning for those running for President.  For those of you who aren’t running, it seems like an eternity.  The cable news networks have spent the last four years previewing the 2012 election.

I have spent the last two weeks watching bits and pieces of the two largest political parties’ conventions and their descriptions of a very different America than either you or I live in.  Neither party is addressing the Cinemafia nor are they mentioning the Canadian spies infiltrating the Great American Entertainment Industry.  The tainting of American entertainment will lead to a great depression in morale if not financially.

A decrease in morale will only lead to an increase in drug usage, alcoholism, and Dinty Moore stews.   Not only are Obama and Romney not addressing the disease, they aren’t even attempting to relieve us of the symptoms.  I am the ONLY candidate who addresses both and offers solutions for both.

My campaign is not limited to straightening out the entertainment industry.  I have offered solutions for jobs, energy, health care, the poor, the elderly, and nookie.

My schedule gets very hectic starting Monday.  Mondays through Thursday will be work from 6:00AM to 10:00PM Monday through Thursday and 6:00AM to 4:00PM on Fridays with campaigning on Saturdays and Sundays.  This schedule will be in effect until Columbus Day, when I start campaigning non-stop until the Election.  The days after the election will be spent protesting the results and demanding recounts (unless I win).  The following week will be a vacation in either Hawaii or Nebraska (I will know for sure by next week).

September 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Sixty Days to Go

Cut it Out Stephen Harper!

I have to clarify something before I go on my rant.  Not all Canadian entertainers are spies.  They are not all performers.  Rush is an excellent fan.  Dave Foley is a very funny comedian.  Pamela Anderson is sexy (and not just because her boobies are made in the USA).

A new Canadian spy has infiltrated the Great American Entertainment Industry.  The damage this spy has done is worse than the actions of Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, William Shatner, and Anne Murray combined.  Unlike these spies, the newest spy has not only ambushed the American Entertainment, she has also infiltrated the American military.  Below is the proof:

The military has a very important job in Afghanistan protecting the oil wells from Afghanis.  Without this service, gas would be over $3.00 per gallon.  Carly Rae Jepsen isn’t just ruining American Entertainment, she is also compromising military operations.  I call on Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to take Jespen (and all of his other spies) back to Canada before we send the Kardashians and The Situation to Saskatchewan to “entertain” Canadians.

 

August 27, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Real Issues

American politicians are notorious for keeping voters engaged with issues that have nothing to do with the future of American lives.  They want to keep you preoccupied with non-issues like gay marriage and the “war” on women, but not that both parties have raised the debt and the war on people in the Middle East.  Ask your politician why he are she is avoiding these vital issues:

  • Health Care – Romney mandated health care insurance for Massachusetts.  Obama has mandated it for the other 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Territories.  Nobody is addressing why it costs $20 for ONE Tylenol in a hospital when you can get 100 for under $10 in many supermarkets and department stores.  I think America would be better served with everybody having apple trees and keeping the doctor away (and the expense of going to the doctor.)
  • Jobs – Romney created a bunch of minimum-wage jobs for Staples.  Obama created jobs for green companies that would eventually go bankrupt and lay everybody off.  My plan would create jobs by giving bailout to companies who don’t need it so they can hire more people and pay the workers they already have more money.  It would also bail out companies that no longer exist by bring back all of those laid off workers back to their jobs.
  • Entertainment –  I am the only candidate who understands that Americans love to be entertained and that the price of entertainment is spiraling out of control.  No other candidate has addressed the cost of entertainment because they don’t care.

You can elect somebody like Obama, Romney, or anyone else who tells you what the issues are or you can elect someone (Ahmnodt Heare) who you tell what the issues are.  The choice is yours.

May 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, entertainment, health care, humor, issues, Obama, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Origins of the Cinemafia

To find where one’s enemy gets its strength, one has to dig into the history of the enemy until one gets to the origin.  The Cinemafia has been around a lot longer than I thought.  The Cinemafia was founded in 1877 in what was then known as Menlo Park, New Jersey.   This Cinemafioso somehow has been able to become an American icon with a town named in his honor.  The person is Thomas Edison.

Thomas Edison did not invent as many things as people thought.  He had over 1,000 patents, but mostly because he marketed the inventions of his employees as his own.  Someone else would do the work and he would take the credit because he patented his employees’ inventions as his own.

This alone wouldn’t connect Edison to the Cinemafia.  Here are a few more facts about Edison for you to digest:  He was a co-founder of General Electric (GE).  GE is the parent company of NBC.  NBC wants us to think that “The Biggest Loser” and “Dateline:NBC” is entertainment.  He also has a patent on the kinectograph.  The kinectograph is the precursor to the motion picture.  It the thingie around in the 1890s that people used to look into while turning a crank to look at motion pictures.

The first pornographic films were shown on devices like this.

The Cinemafia, like other multinational corporations, have branched out into other fields to diversify their sources and to make themselves relevant across a wide variety of formats.  Today’s Cinemafia has a presence in movies, television, televangelism, and music.  Taking down the Cinemafia will not be easy, but it must be done.  Who is with me?

May 18, 2012 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, media, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A New Low

The more I unearth the diabolical plans of the Cinemafia, the more disgusted I become.  It started with the high prices of entertainment for subpar movies.  I wish it ended there as that is harmless as compared to the other things I have found out about them over the years:

  • Using underaged girls as sex symbols only to toss them aside once they turn 18 years of age.  These young women often end up living lives that often resemble a train wreck.  Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. and others were once wholesome young girls who were pimped out by the Cinemafia by looking sexy before they were old enough to look sexy.
  • Having shows that are geared for children and adding sexual overtones.
  • It was recently discovered that children actors were used for sexual favors by casting members.

I have discussed all of this in the past.  While all of these are horrific, I am saddened that it doesn’t end there.  They are no longer satisfied by introducing Hollywood children to their perversions.  Now they are after your children.

"Princess" sippy cup erect for your child.

What was Disney thinking with the straw placement of the princess? I highly doubt it was a wholesome thought.

If you still go to movies or rent them after all of the evidence I have shown, then I am speechless.  Maybe I am just a prude who thinks that girls shouldn’t be subject to my sexual advances until they turn 18.  Personally, I prefer they are at least 21 years of age as alcohol makes it easier for women to be positively receptive to my advances.

I will continue to fight the Cinemafia and expose them for what they are, even if it is a fight I must fight alone.  They are so wrong on so many levels that it’s sad.  While Barack Obama is in Afghanistan and Mitt Romney is around America trying to convince people that he is a fun guy (or is it fungi?), I will fight the fight that must be fought.

Happy May Day from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

May 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, satire | , , , , | 6 Comments

Cinemafia in World Governments

The Cinemafia’s infiltration in world governments started innocently enough in April 1956 in the tiny Principality of Monaco when Rainier III, Prince of Monaco, married Hollywood starlet and Cinemafiosa Grace Kelly.  Nobody really paid much attention because Monaco isn’t exactly a military powerhouse with an overly-aggressive foreign policy.

Fast forward to 1980.  Americans elect a B-Rate actor who was the former president of the Screen Actors’ Guild.  Movies like “Back to the Future”, “The Breakfast Club”, and “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” are deemed classics.  Not because they are among the best movies ever made; but because there is a good chance you will see at least one of these movies on USA Network or TBS next weekend.  They seem like classics compared to the crap the Cinemafia spews today.  Today’s movies are so bad that they had to re-release “Titanic” in theaters last weekend.  (They also made a pretty penny “celebrating” the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.

USA Network is also the home of the lastest Cinemafioso Anthony Shalhoub.  He plays Adrian Monk on “Monk” and also plays the role of French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

A stern Nicholas Sarkozy interrupts a reporter who was asking a question about the final season of "Monk".

The Cinemafia is everywhere but they can be defeated.  While they are currently serving as various heads-of-state, legislators, and lobbyists; they can be shown the curb by candidates who will not accept blood money.  I am one of those candidates.  I will give my opponents a GPS so they don’t get lost on their way to the curb.  Vote for me on November 6.  Together we can save the Great American Entertainment Industry.

April 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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