Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I Am Not The Only One

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-popcorn-lawsuit-20120305,0,3059649.story?track=rss

I thought I was the only person willing to fight the Cinemafia head-on.  People hate the Cinemafia, but don’t have the time or money to fight them.  I don’t have the money to fight them (or the $10 jaywalking ticket I got last night), but a man in Michigan does.  Joshua Thompson is my hero.

Joshua Thompson used to sneak his own food into a local theater unto the theater manager made a policy prohibiting food to be brought from elsewhere.  Thompson retaliated by filing a lawsuit against the theater for violating anti-trust laws.

The reason for the anti-trust lawsuit is simple:  The less competition there is, the more those in business can charge for a product or service.  Marijuana is so expensive because it is illegal and most people can only get their weed from one dealer.  The few people who can go to one dealer soon realize that all dealers get their stuff from the same CIA agent.

A large soda in a movie theater can cost $5 or more because people generally don’t bring soda from home.  And the few who did before the crackdown on home-brought colas will soon experience a spike in the cost of concessions.

I am the only presidential candidate who has offered a viable way to make both movies and concessions more affordable as demonstrated in this video I made in 2008.  The entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team wishes Joshua Thompson and all others fighting the Cinemafia.

March 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Homer, Mickey, and Peter

There will be people who will use their vote to “protest.”  Some people will never vote for whomever the Democratic and Republican Parties spew at them.  Most of these people will vote for another party (Libertarian, Green, Reform, Constitution, etc.) or will vote for somebody with no party affiliation.  Some people would rather stay at home.

This is for those “protest” voters who spend hours in line waiting to vote on Election Day only to vote for a fictional character.  This is potentially dangerous.  On the surface, you think you are voting for Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or Mickey Mouse to run the country.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Homer, Peter, and Mickey.  I trust them more with nuclear weapons than I do with either Barack Obama, Rick Santorum, or Mitt Romney.  The problem becomes who runs the country should one of these characters become President.  (Mickey Mouse and Homer Simpson have had over 2,000 votes for President in the past)  Mickey Mouse is a registered trademark of Disney.  Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are trademarks owned by Fox Corp.  Both companies are huge supporters of the Cinemafia.

While I am a fictional character as well, I am not owned by a corporation.  Unlike other fictional characters, I have a platform available for all to see.  I will run the country based on my platform via my campaign manager (who is a real person.)

Be careful how you vote.  You could “protest” by voting for someone who is owned by a company who spends millions lobbying to keep things the same, or you can vote for someone who really wants things to be better for all Americans (even if he doesn’t really exist.)

March 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, election, entertainment, humor, issues, Platform, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Real Social Issues

Many people have been bashing the Republican candidates for emphasizing social issues.  I am not one of the bashers.  I am concerned that the Republicans have been talking about the wrong social issues that affect Americans.  Here are the real issues that we should be talking about and taking action in fixing:

  • Affordable entertainment – it is why I am running in the first place.  The Republican candidates and President Obama can afford to pop $9,000 to see the New York Knicks and the Miami Heat play a regular season basketball game.  I cannot, and neither can most Americans.
  • Stupid People – It’s not just a social issue, it’s an economic issue.  Stupid people cost the economy over $40 billion in 2011.  Texting and driving into accidents and managing businesses into the ground and laying off thousands of people are just a few things that stupid people do that are hurting America.
  • Federal holidays – Christopher Columbus never set foot on American soil, yet we celebrate Columbus Day.  I would replace Columbus Day with Vanna White Day because She has had a more direct impact on the greatness of America.

It’s time to talk about the social issues that affect all Americans.  It’s time to come up to the solutions to what is ailing us socially.

February 24, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire, Vanna White | , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Nevada Shenanigans and Super Bowl Ads

This is two entries posted in one great entry!

Saturday:  (Nevada Shenanigans) – Like many Americans, I was glued to my computer and my television as the results were coming in following the Nevada Caucuses.  There were some odd occurrences with the reporting of the results.  The ones I noticed were in Washoe County.  There were other oddities in Clark County (Las Vegas) that had to do with vote totals as well as locking voters from allowing to caucus.  Below is what I posted on Facebook Saturday night:

Weird stuff happening with the Nevada caucuses and it all evolves around the Newtered One. Washoe County went from 41-20% Romney over Gingrich to 39-21 Gingrich over Romney. The AP was resulting that Gingrich was leading Paul in total votes 1900-1800. A few minutes later, it was 2200-1200.

I didn’t get too much information as it was happening with Clark County because I had gone to bed before it was reported.  Here is a link to a video of what is believed to be Clark County officials counting votes.

Sunday: (Super Bowl Ads) – The New York Giants might have won the Super Bowl and they might have beaten the New England Patriots twice, but I can take comfort that they lost to the Washington Redskins TWICE!  The thing I found disturbing was all of the commercials for movies that will not be released until sometime between March and Memorial Day.  Some of the movies had yet to be rated by the Cinemafia Motion Picture Association of America.  All of those movie ads at $3.5 million per ad adds up to what promises to be increased prices in movie tickets and concessions.

February 6, 2012 Posted by | commentary, entertainment, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, scandal, voting | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Getting Dirty

To my long-time supporters:  I apologize for what I am about to write.  This message isn’t for the supporters who have helped this campaign grow.  This is for the people who support other candidates (Most notably Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, and Newt Gingrich.)  I am writing this because while my supporters will vote for me because they like me, most people will vote for someone else because their candidate isn’t “the other guy.”  After all, I’m not Obama, Romney, nor Gingrich either.

Barack Obama has been appointing people to government positions who were lobbyists for companies who financially supported his 2008 campaign and will more than likely support his 2012 campaign (Unless they are one of those companies that went bankrupt despite all that Obama has done for them.)

Mitt Romney said he doesn’t care about the very poor or the very rich.  I care about the very rich.  They throw some of the best parties and I will remember them when I become President.

Newt Gingrich all but admitted that the Cinemafia is funding a large portion of his campaign last night.  During a speech, he snipped at me saying, “Ahmnodt running for ‘Entertainer-in-Chief’.”  I am running for President of the United States.  One the things that the president should do is to make sure Americans have affordable quality entertainment.  But I have also addressed jobs, energy, abortion, privacy rights, “Vanna White Day”, and many other issues.

So vote for me because I’m not one of them.  If that’s not good enough, then vote for me because I am a nice guy with ideas to make America a better place to live for you.

February 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal, Vanna White | , , , , | Comments Off on Getting Dirty

A Word From the Running Mate

My Fellow Americans,

My name is Albee Thayer.  I am honored to have been tapped by Ahmnodt Heare to be his running mate.  (By “tapped” I mean “chosen” not “tapped like a stick to a maple tree for syrup.  I haven’t had the time to introduce myself because I have been busy on my ranch and campaigning here in the Abilene, TX area.

I was born in New York City on November 7, 1958 and grew up in the suburbs.  My father was a junior vice-president at a Wall Street firm and my mother was a history teacher.  They instilled a tough work ethic in me.  I graduated high school a year early and received my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from the Abilene Christian University in only three years.  I later earned my MBA degree in Executive Management at the University of Texas.

I run a 80-acre ranch in the outskirts of Abilene with hundreds of steer and antelope roaming the ranch.  I shared the ranch with my wife Beatrice and our son Tyler until they were killed by a drunk driver in 1998.  I never remarried as I kept busy growing the ranch and trying other business ventures.

A Republican by trade, I became disenfranchised with the party and left in 2002 when they continued the spending the Democrats started.  After taking a look at other parties and even trying to start my own party (If you ever heard of the “Checkbook Party” about 10 years ago, that was the party I started.

I am proud to say that I voted for Ahmnodt Heare in 2008.  He doesn’t know this yet, but I wrote my name in for vice-president because i thought holding both offices is too much for anybody, even Ahmnodt.  My interest in him and his campaign started with his fight against the Cinemafia.  I have had a similar fight with the sports mafia.  I would sometimes make the drive to the Dallas – Fort Worth area to see the Cowboys and the Stars.  I became outraged by the ever-increasing prices to see the game as well as food and beer (which is way more expensive than at a bar or church and is watered down.)  At least the Cinemafia doesn’t charge for parking.  It was $20 the last time I went to Texas Stadium in 2007.

Ahmnodt will be back tomorrow.  He is currently traveling through New Hampshire campaigning in small towns near the border with Canada.  He will be back tomorrow with updates from the trail.  If you have any questions about me, feel free to ask them in the comments section below.

Sincerely,

Albee Thayer

Independent Write-In Candidate for Vice President

January 12, 2012 Posted by | Albee, campaign, entertainment, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Messed Up

Last night’s show was one for the ages.  I had my A-game and the material to go along with it.  There were no technical issues.  Everything was going along smoothly.  I think I went the entire show without going “um” while looking for the word I wanted to say.  There were only two problems:

  • I forgot to hit the “Go Live” button so nobody got to watch the show live.  And…
  • I forgot to hit “Record” so nobody can see the masterpiece.
I am going to tell you my secret to show preparation:  On a half-hour show, Only five to ten minutes of it is outlined.  The rest is ad-libbed based on the audience and whatever pops in my head during the show.
For those familiar with “Sunday Night Football” on NBC, I have added my player introduction as if I was playing in the game.

January 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, entertainment, humor, media, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

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