Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Not of My Doing

I heard a rumor from a media insider that there will be a hit piece on my campaign.  The piece has nothing to do with any of my policies, actions, or criticisms of President Obama and of Congress.  It has to do with a small group of people in southern Oregon near the borders of California and Nevada.  They are transients from all over the northwestern US, British Columbia in Canada, and Liechtenstein.

They refer to themselves affectionately as “Hearebots”.  Critics of the group call them “Hearetards.”  The Hearebots took it upon themselves to live their lives as if I was President and are trying to carry out portions of my platform.  Deep in the otherwise barren wilderness are two acres of apple trees that they planted in the last year,  They have banned Hollywood movies and anything associated with Disney including the watching of ESPN and ABC.  . Below is a video that shows an alternative to the overpriced Hollywood movies.

I had no knowledge of these fine people or of this community until I was informed of this story from Matt Storn, who wishes to remain anonymous.  If his name got out, it could cost him his job.

A trip to southeastern Oregon is in the works.  As soon as I contact these fine people, I will be making a campaign stop.

July 15, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, health care | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Not of My Doing

Obama the Genius

I never thought I would say this, but Barack Obama is a genius.  People (including I) have been criticizing his foreign and health care policies.  But from what I had to figure out, he has tied the two together to keep Americans safe.  Here’s how:

ISIS – Rumor has it that there are ISIS troops in Mexico and are soon to invade the United States.  Even President Obama knows that drone strikes can’t be done in the United States like they have been done in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And sending the troops needed to protect the border isn’t as feasible as one would think as there isn’t enough housing for all of the troops.  So how does he stop ISIS from becoming a terror nightmare?

He stops ISIS be sending Ebola patients to the border.  That’s why there are Ebola patients in Texas.  The females will be disguised as ISIS sympathizers and slip the fighters tongue and other ways to send their bodily fluids into the bodies of ISIS.  They get sick and they die.

Well played, Obama.  Well played.

October 16, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, Obama | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Obama the Genius

ObamaCare – Worse Than I Thought

I have been a harsh critic of the Affordable Care Act (known in the streets as “ObamaCare”).  It was bad enough when I unable to keep my current plan (which was “none”).  I found out firsthand how bad ObamaCare is getting when I went to visit my doctor for what was supposed to be a routine blood sampling.

Below is the timeline of my time at the doctor’s office:  (Time entries in bold are entries spent in the office.  Other entries are before and after the visit.)

7/8/14 – 9:00PM – Finished my last snack and started fasting for the blood work.  Fasting is supposed to last twelve hours.

7/9/14 = 9:15AM – Arrive at doctor’s office for a 9:30 appointment.

7/9/14 – 9:30AM – Scheduled time of appointment

7/9 = 9:30-10:15 – Other patients with appointments between 9:30 and 10:00 arrive.

7/9 = 9:40-10:30 – Those mentioned above got to see the doctor.

7/9 = 10:45 – I finally got admitted.

7/9 – 11:00 – Health assistant starts performing total checkup.  (I had my checkup in January and was not scheduled for a checkup). Started developing a caffeine-depleted headache.

7/9 – 11:45 – Getting prepped for blood work.

7/9 – 12:00 –  Informed that my insurance will not pay for the blood work.  I decided that I would hold off on the blood work until I was sure I had the money to pay for the tests.  They took an impromptu urine sample. 

7/9 – 12:10PM – Tried to schedule another appointment.  The next free day is the middle of August. 

7/9 – 3:45PM – Received a phone call from the doctor’s office that there was a “loophole” and that there was a way that my insurance would pay for the blood work.  I was also informed that there was an opening tomorrow, but not until 3:00PM.

I now have to go through another 12-hour fast and I probably will not be able to eat or drink until at least 4:00PM.  I will probably get another headache.

July 9, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, health care, issues, Obama, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on ObamaCare – Worse Than I Thought

My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby in stating that Hobby Lobby did not have to provide coverage for contraception to their employees because they objected on religious grounds.  What needs to be done now is not bickering over whether the decision was the correct decision or not.  People who cannot afford contraception still need contraception.  My solution is to have a fundraiser and raise money so these people can have access to contraception.

It is important to make sure these people get contraception for two reasons: 1)If they cannot afford contraception, then they cannot afford raising a baby.  The more people needing help raising a baby, the greater the financial strain it will be for all Americans.  2)If they can’t figure out a way to get a few bucks for condoms or a few more bucks for the pill, then they’re probably not smart enough to figure out to hold their sexual urges as much as possible until things get better financially.

If there is enough positive response to this idea, I will set up a donation page sometime after the Fourth of July holiday weekend.

July 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

June 29, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, health care, humor, issues, Personal Life, politics, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Have to Run for President

Just When We Thought I Was Done

I spent New Year’s Eve at a nearby bar hoping to ring in 2014 like many other people.  The gameplan was to have a few drinks, watch the ball drop, use the men’s room and steal borrow a roll of toilet paper, and go home and sleep.  It didn’t quite go like that.

The bar was quite sparse when I was ready to ring in the New Year at 10:00AM.  I’m drinking my usual Shirley-Temple-with-a-whiskey-sour-chaser when two couples walked into the bar and sat a few stools from me.  They were quite loud, especially when it came to talking about politics.

The taller of the gentleman seemed to be smart.  He was talking about the problems with the Affordable Health Care Act that nobody else seemed to be talking about.  He mentioned that insurance might be lower for some, but having insurance was no guarantee that a given claim will be processed in the claimant’s favor. Even if the claim was accepted, most insurance policies only cover 80% of the cost of the procedure, leaving 20% to the claimant.  If a patient is going to require an extended hospital stay, he or she will still have to pay over $10,000 after the insurance pays for its portion.

The tall guy starts yelling at the other couple because they voted for Barack Obama.  He then went into a rant about there being only one candidate worth voting for and he quit.  He then explained to them about my “Apple-a-Day” health care plan and my plan to save the humpback dolphins in Lake Michigan.

I was fortunate that he did not recognize me.  I did not quit running for President; I suspended my campaign until I had the time to straighten out the personal matters in my life.  (Or until people started getting furious that I wasn’t out there campaigning.)  The good news is that I have resumed campaigning and will be making campaign stops soon.  I’ll have to put my personal life on hold (which I will do as soon as I remember to buy the batteries for my father’s “Life Alert” button.

January 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, health care, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Just When We Thought I Was Done

My Health Care Plan

The more I hear about the Affordable Health Care Plan, the more unaffordable it is becoming.  It seems to be the old switcheroo with health care becoming affordable by making health insurance more expensive.

I have written extensively on health care in the past.  I was mocked by many by my mandating “An Apple a Day” for every American.  Before you resume mocking me, let me point out that a whole year of mandated apples costs less than one month of mandated ObamaCare insurance.

The biggest difference between my plan and other plans is that the other plans only take effect once you fall ill.  My plan makes sure you don’t get ill and that you have more time for productive things like work and playing Words with Friends on Facebook.

I will be answering questions that you have about my health care policies Saturday Night at 11:00PM EDT on Blogtalk Radio.  Other topics include my new campaign strategies and highlights from my campaign stop in Rehoboth Beach, DE.  I’ll look forward to hearing from you.

October 30, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, health care, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on My Health Care Plan

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