Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

ObamaCare – Worse Than I Thought

I have been a harsh critic of the Affordable Care Act (known in the streets as “ObamaCare”).  It was bad enough when I unable to keep my current plan (which was “none”).  I found out firsthand how bad ObamaCare is getting when I went to visit my doctor for what was supposed to be a routine blood sampling.

Below is the timeline of my time at the doctor’s office:  (Time entries in bold are entries spent in the office.  Other entries are before and after the visit.)

7/8/14 – 9:00PM – Finished my last snack and started fasting for the blood work.  Fasting is supposed to last twelve hours.

7/9/14 = 9:15AM – Arrive at doctor’s office for a 9:30 appointment.

7/9/14 – 9:30AM – Scheduled time of appointment

7/9 = 9:30-10:15 – Other patients with appointments between 9:30 and 10:00 arrive.

7/9 = 9:40-10:30 – Those mentioned above got to see the doctor.

7/9 = 10:45 – I finally got admitted.

7/9 – 11:00 – Health assistant starts performing total checkup.  (I had my checkup in January and was not scheduled for a checkup). Started developing a caffeine-depleted headache.

7/9 – 11:45 – Getting prepped for blood work.

7/9 – 12:00 –  Informed that my insurance will not pay for the blood work.  I decided that I would hold off on the blood work until I was sure I had the money to pay for the tests.  They took an impromptu urine sample. 

7/9 – 12:10PM – Tried to schedule another appointment.  The next free day is the middle of August. 

7/9 – 3:45PM – Received a phone call from the doctor’s office that there was a “loophole” and that there was a way that my insurance would pay for the blood work.  I was also informed that there was an opening tomorrow, but not until 3:00PM.

I now have to go through another 12-hour fast and I probably will not be able to eat or drink until at least 4:00PM.  I will probably get another headache.

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July 9, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, health care, issues, Obama, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on ObamaCare – Worse Than I Thought

My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby in stating that Hobby Lobby did not have to provide coverage for contraception to their employees because they objected on religious grounds.  What needs to be done now is not bickering over whether the decision was the correct decision or not.  People who cannot afford contraception still need contraception.  My solution is to have a fundraiser and raise money so these people can have access to contraception.

It is important to make sure these people get contraception for two reasons: 1)If they cannot afford contraception, then they cannot afford raising a baby.  The more people needing help raising a baby, the greater the financial strain it will be for all Americans.  2)If they can’t figure out a way to get a few bucks for condoms or a few more bucks for the pill, then they’re probably not smart enough to figure out to hold their sexual urges as much as possible until things get better financially.

If there is enough positive response to this idea, I will set up a donation page sometime after the Fourth of July holiday weekend.

July 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

For Those Tired of the Same Old

If you’re old enough to have seen things since the 1980’s, you have notice that many things have changed and many haven’t.  Most of the change for the better include cell phones, internet, and video recording clear enough that you don’t get static lines all over the screen when the picture is paused during a hot porno scene.  These can all be attributed to the private sector wanting to make things better.

You would also notice that airport security is much tighter and includes an occasional grope.  There are fewer places for smokers to go to smoke and relieve themselves from the need to strangle an idiot.  Just about everything comes with a warning label, including one for peanut butter to remind us that peanut butter contains peanuts.  These can all be attributed to government wanting to make things better.

Private sector changes will happen regardless of who gets elected in 2016.  Gadgets will be cooler to play with and be more efficient.  Government will also make changes regardless of who gets elected.  The difference between other candidates and me is that I won’t have a lobby group funding any portion of my campaign.  I will put on my private-sector thinking cap and make government better.  There is already positive feedback about my TSA plan of turning TSA security guards into massage therapists.  I would do away with mandating labels on peanut butter because if a person can’t figure out that peanut butter contains peanuts, then he or she deserves the outcome of one’s actions.

Most of the candidates that are being considered to run for President have spent a lot of time in government and are limited to using government-type solutions to problems that only government people can conjure up.  I am a lifetime private sector employee and business owner who has a history of making things better by using private sector solutions.  Choose wisely, grasshopper.

June 30, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, change, commentary, election, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on For Those Tired of the Same Old

Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

June 29, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, health care, humor, issues, Personal Life, politics, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Have to Run for President

He said, “No.”

I thought for sure my campaign manager wanted to run for Senator.  He could have ridden my coattails.  I could have had him stumping with me in 2016.  He doesn’t want to run for Senate.  The reason that he gave me was that he has skeletons in his closet that need to remain in the closet.  I have seen his closet.  I did not see anything that was embarrassing except for a slightly overused inflatable doll.

His lack of desire to run for office did not stop my manager from setting up my campaign schedule for the following week.  My first campaign stop is Saturday afternoon at Brooke Wheatsworth’s seventh birthday party. This stop is for the 2024 campaign, when Brooke and her friends will be old enough to vote.   I make campaign stops for children because I will be the first presidential candidate that many children will meet.

I will be in Ottawa on Monday and Tuesday holding a rally in front of the US Embassy.  I will have a petition for Canadians to sign which will allow them to vote for President of the United States.  I am doing this because the President of the United States is the leader of the free world.  Many people feel that Americans should not be the only people voting for the leader of the free world.  My being the first Presidential candidate to address this issue will give me the upper hand in overseas voting.

There will be fewer campaign stops in cemeteries than in prior campaigns.  These stops will be limited to heavily-Democratic states and large Democratic-leaning cities in Republican states.  The time I had wasted in the past will not be used in campaigning in more conventional settings like political rallies and city morgues.

The week ahead will be hectic.  I will try my best to keep you informed on highlights from the campaign trail as events occur.

June 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, foreign policy, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on He said, “No.”

Brain Freeze

I was going to write a post about a Fortune 500 company who has been implementing some of my policies.  I saw their commercial recently and thought what they were doing was a great idea.  I had forgotten why I thought that until I went to bed that evening.  The reason why I thought it was a great idea was because it was something I suggested a few years ago.  I was too tired to write about it then, but I figured I would write about it the following morning.  Then the following happened:

  • I forgot the idea I had that the company was implementing.
  • I forgot the company that was implementing my idea
  • I haven’t seen the commercial which made me think about this.

I had also hired an organizational guru.  My organizational skills are pretty good, but her’s are amazing.  The only problem is that I didn’t pay attention when she was organizing things, so It took me the last three days to find what I needed to find.  She said there was a reason why the toilet paper belonged in the dishwasher, but the reasoning escapes me.

Next Saturday will be a campaign day as I will be in Middletown, NY and Newburgh, NY.  Times and topics will be posted as soon as I find where the organizing guru placed my planner.  I remembered the towns and the date being the first Saturday in June.

June 1, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, issues | , , , | 1 Comment

Catching Up in Politics

I’m back before I miss too much going on and have to spend an entire weekend blogging.  President Obama is in a heap of trouble.  I will make my endorsement for New York City mayor tonight.

Between “Benghazigate”, The IRS fiasco, an the AP wiretapping mess, you’re probably regretting not voting for me for President last November.  I forgive you.  Just remember this entry in 2016 before you vote for one of the poor choices the Republicans and Democrats will be nominating.  Below is how I would have prevented Obama’s scandals from becoming scandals in an Ahmnodt Heare administration:

Benghazigate: – I wouldn’t have allowed a consulate office to be opened in Benghazi.  This is because like so many other Americans, I never heard of Benghazi before the diplomats were killed.  I would have kept them in Tripoli as long as it was safe.  If it got too risky to stay, I would have gotten the navy to pick them up and ship them across the Mediterranean Sea to Italy.

The IRS: – The IRS has supposedly been targeting certain non-profit organizations that were against the Obama Administration.  To the best of my knowledge, TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now) was not targeted because they were considered to be more pro-Ahmnodt Heare and less anti-Barack Obama.  This probably includes businesses that did not make profits because of the Obama administration’s poor fiscal policies.  My policies would make businesses prosper and leave non-profits alone as they don’t make enough money to interest me.

AP Wiretapping: – I don’t know why anybody would wiretap the Associated Press.  The news has sucked for years now.  I don’t know of any stories that were negative against the White House until lately.  I wouldn’t wiretap anybody because I wouldn’t want to get caught.

I have spent some time thinking about who I should endorse for Mayor.  The problem is that I have two friends of my campaign running for mayor.  Jimmy McMillan is one candidate.  Though he hasn’t endorsed my campaign, I agree with him when he says the rent is too damned high.  Anthony Weiner and I don’t see eye-to-eye on all of the issues, but that did not stop him from endorsing me last year. 

The person I am endorsing for mayor doesn’t currently live in New York City, but he had worked in Gotham for years.  He has fought crime better than any of the other candidates.  While he doesn’t currently live in New York, he is currently a mayor of a small town in Rhode Island.  He has had to battle issues like stolen water and sewage dumping, so he is ready to serve the fine people of New York City.

 

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

 

May 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, endorsement, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Catching Up in Politics

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