Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Be a Part of It!

Between now and next Sunday, I will be collecting short video snippets from supporters explaining why they support Ahmnodt Heare for President.  The video should be thirty seconds or less with a brief explanation why Ahmnodt Heare would be a better candidate than Barack Obama or Mitt Romney.

If you are stumped as to what to say, here are some links I hope will inspire you.

  • Issues – My position on the issues of the day.  Feel free to pick the one that inspires you the most.
  • Videos – My videos on a wide variety of topics explaining in my own words (mostly) explaining why I should be President.
  • Endorsements – For those of you who found out about my campaign from a celebrity who endorses me for President, you can briefly explain the characteristics your favorite celebrity and I have in common.
  • Puppies – who doesn’t love puppies?

Everybody loves puppies!

As soon as I compile all of the clips from supporters, I will post a composite video containing the clips and then forward the compilation to various media sources.

 

Oops, I almost forgot:  e-mail your completed clips to ahmnodtheare@politician.com

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August 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, endorsement, humor, issues, media, politics | , , , , | Comments Off on Be a Part of It!

Advice for Mitt Romney

It’s odd that I, a candidate for President of the United States, would give an opponent advice.  But after Mitt Romney bungled his foreign campaign trip, I can offer him some friendly advice.  There are only 98 days until Election Day and I doubt he will be doing any more campaigning overseas.  Below is some tidbits he can use abroad:

  • Answer the media’s questions. – If you don’t talk to the media, the media will attack.  They will say that you are “out of touch” or that other candidates give out better donuts at press conferences.
  • Find out the cultures of the countries you will visit and don’t step on their toes. –  People will frown on incidents like eating bacon at the Wailing Wall or saying “Erin go Bragh” at a bar in London.
  • Mingle with the people. – You represent America more than most Americans because you are applying for leadership.  America has a bad image overseas except for cities after I have campaigned there.  The more likable America is, the less likely we will be attacked in the future.
  • Refrain from bragging about America’s greatness.  America is a great country, but the first thing people will do after hearing that is ask, “If it’s a great country, why in the hell are you campaigning in my country?”.

Follow this advice in the future and you will have a more successful trip overseas.  The  people there will tweet the people here to vote for you.  (Unless they don’t have a Twitter account.)

July 31, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, media, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Advice for Mitt Romney

The Origins of the Cinemafia

To find where one’s enemy gets its strength, one has to dig into the history of the enemy until one gets to the origin.  The Cinemafia has been around a lot longer than I thought.  The Cinemafia was founded in 1877 in what was then known as Menlo Park, New Jersey.   This Cinemafioso somehow has been able to become an American icon with a town named in his honor.  The person is Thomas Edison.

Thomas Edison did not invent as many things as people thought.  He had over 1,000 patents, but mostly because he marketed the inventions of his employees as his own.  Someone else would do the work and he would take the credit because he patented his employees’ inventions as his own.

This alone wouldn’t connect Edison to the Cinemafia.  Here are a few more facts about Edison for you to digest:  He was a co-founder of General Electric (GE).  GE is the parent company of NBC.  NBC wants us to think that “The Biggest Loser” and “Dateline:NBC” is entertainment.  He also has a patent on the kinectograph.  The kinectograph is the precursor to the motion picture.  It the thingie around in the 1890s that people used to look into while turning a crank to look at motion pictures.

The first pornographic films were shown on devices like this.

The Cinemafia, like other multinational corporations, have branched out into other fields to diversify their sources and to make themselves relevant across a wide variety of formats.  Today’s Cinemafia has a presence in movies, television, televangelism, and music.  Taking down the Cinemafia will not be easy, but it must be done.  Who is with me?

May 18, 2012 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, media, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

May 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Attack Mode

Now through the month of May, the campaign will be in attack mode.  Below are what I will be doing over the next month:

  • Calling in to talk shows – America needs to hear me.  I had the podcast (it will resume in a few weeks).  Voters need to know that I don’t sound like a robot like Mitt Romney or a rock star like Barack Obama.
  • Writing “Letters-to-the Editor” – I will be writing to prominent newspapers and magazines pleading my case why I should be President of the United States.  Newspapers include the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, and other newspapers.  Magazines include Time, U.S. News and World Report, Highlights for Children, and other magazines.
  • Comments on political blogs and Facebook pages – This is where I use my “compare and contrast” strategy.  It’s easy to say that “Ahmnodt Rules” or that “Obama and Romney suck”, but that won’t make people think enough to change their minds.  Instead, I compare my health care, jobs, economic, and education plans to other candidates.  I also mention that I am the only candidate tackling the high cost of entertainment.

This is where I need your help:  I will be doing these things, but I am but one person.  The more people mention me, the more the media will notice and the more others will know that there are alternatives to Obama and Romney.

I will like to take a moment to thank the people who have done their part to spread the word:

Yo-Yo-Dyne Propulsion Systems: Reno Division – Rachael has worked tirelessly promoting my campaign and has added a button to my blog on her blog.

Bearman Cartoons – Bearman was kind enough to make the profile picture I currently use on Facebook.

Dummies of the Year – Scholar Mel was kind enough to interview me for his blog.  He has also mentioned my campaign to celebrities that he has interviewed.

Momma’s Money Matters  – Momma was kind enough to give me a “Versatile Blogger Award“.  Her blog is not just about money, but parenting and other life essentials.

I apologize to those I have forgotten.  Those who I have forgotten will get top billing in the “Great American Shout-Out” blog entry I plan on writing on May 7.  Shout-outs will also go to people who show their support by either their blog or by posting a link in the comments section showing the support (Whether it’s on Facebook, a political blog reply (aside from this political blog), or whitehouse.gov.

 

April 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Weird Dream

I had a dream that I won the election and became President.  That’s not the weird part.  I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.)  That’s not the weird part either.  The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage.  I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters.  The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage.  Below are some of the few reactions:

  • CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
  • MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket.  “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare?  How in the **** did he win?  Seriously, who is he?”
  • Fox News chose not to mention my name.  They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
  • Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
  • CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me.  They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
  • NBC News managed to find out something about me.  Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience.  Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
  • ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.

My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me.  TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.

Twitter was abuzz with the election.  The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.”  Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”

The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it.  The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won.  I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.

February 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Please – No More GOP Debates!

The GOP had their 20th debate last night.  One thing I noticed about many of these debates is how my health tends to deteriorate during debates.  I can’t explain it.  The same thing happened with the 2008 general debates between Senators Obama and McCain.

It would be easier to understand if I was on stage in any of these debates.  I haven’t been on stage for any debate except for the debate of Independent Presidential Candidates in 2009.  I did not get ill during that debate.

It would be easy to understand if I didn’t have a solid platform and wasn’t consistent in my beliefs (besides capital punishment which I still have no position).  But nobody has attacked my views on the issues during these debates.

It can’t be because I am live-commentating on the internet.  I have done that for other things without getting sick.  I have a talk show (it was on hiatus) that I talk live and take phone calls from whomever calls.  I do not have anybody to screen my calls, so I do not know who will call.  It could be an avid supporter, a citizen who wants to ask questions or a Howard Stern fan calling to say, “Baba Booey.”

I think what is making me sick is the questions being asked.  They keep asking about foreign policy and abortion and not questions about the issues people want to have answered: “How would you fight the Cinemafia”, “Does this pass the ‘Vanna’ test?”  “What would Joyce DeWitt do about a specified topic?” and other issues tugging at the hearts of Americans.

I was running a fever of 101.3F last night.  I felt fine before the debate and I feel fine now.  There is a debate scheduled for March 19.  This is after Super Tuesday.  If it looks like that either Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, or Vermin Supreme are going to run away with this, then it will be canceled.  If it’s still muddled after Super Tuesday, then it will be the last GOP debate.  I’ll be stocking up on Vitamin C just in case.

February 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, debate, humor, issues, media, Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates, politics, satire, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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