Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

State of the Union Address Tuesday Night

President Obama will be giving the State of the Union address tomorrow evening.  I will be commenting in real-time my take on the address as well as the Republican responses.  Later in the week, I will also be writing the State of the Union address I would have given if I was elected.

A couple of notes about tomorrow night’s entries:

  • My comments will probably be a bit more jaded than in previous State of the Union addresses in the past.  Not because I am bitter about the election, but because I am bitter about the poor start the Washington Capitals’ season and that they currently have the worst record in the NHL.  Adam Oates would have been a better coach if he was still with Darryl Hall.  Life hasn’t been the same since Hall and Oates broke up.
  • I may not watch the entire address.  I will try, but Obama bores me.  At least with Bush, there was always a chance of a gaffe.  It would be more entertaining if Joe Biden gave it for Obama, but it is what it is.
  • I have a bad habit of getting sick during addresses and debates.  I am drinking orange juice (with just a little bit of vodka) to keep healthy.

I shall return to regular blogging here on March 4.  I will remind you now that February 19 is Vanna White’s birthday and I will be unavailable for interviews due to religious observation.

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February 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, politics, satire, State of the Union, Vanna White | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on State of the Union Address Tuesday Night

Albee “Debating” Tonight

My running mate Albee Thayer will be “debating” tonight.  Like other independent and third party candidates, he will not be able to be on stage debating Vice-Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan.  Instead, Albee will be using the same chat room I used last week.

He has been here in New Jersey for the last couple days.  We have been practicing debating and answering questions.  I am confident that Albee will do well and he would have won the debate if he was invited.

The debate is at 9:00PM Eastern 6:00 Pacific on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, News12 New Jersey, and PBS.  The best answers will be supplied by Albee Heare here.

October 11, 2012 Posted by | Albee, debate, humor, Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, politics | , , | Comments Off on Albee “Debating” Tonight

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, Paul Ryan, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Too Smart to Hold Office?

I received a very interesting e-mail this morning.  The e-mail came with a link saying that many of today’s politicians did not do well in college.  I graduated St. Thomas Francis University with a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing.  While I wasn’t Magna Cum Laude, I wasn’t Mega Cum Stain either.  My GPA was a respectable 3.54 with more A’s than C’s.

Those with poor grades include our current vice-president (I think it’s Joe Biden) and the former President and Vice President.  Also included are a couple of my competitors (Rick Perry and Sarah Palin), and Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.

There aren’t a lot of popular politicians who are smart.  There aren’t too many smart politicians who are popular (at least popular enough to win elections.)  While I figure out which category I fit in, I will let you know that I am striving for being both smart and popular.

I will be heading to Wall Street this week.  Rumor has it that there is a strong demographic group for me to campaign to.  My work schedule is tomorrow and Wednesday, but Thursday should be light enough to make a trip to New York City.  With some luck, I can inspire some smart people to run for office and we can stop electing idiots.

 

October 3, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, Joe Biden, politics, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dreams

Americans have a dream of success.  How a working boy from Scranton can be a vice-president.  How a bar sweeper can be Speaker of the House of Representatives.   How a fired movie theater manager can be the 45th President of the United States.

January 25, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Joe Biden, State of the Union 2010 | , | 3 Comments

2011 and the Senate

This week I will be taking a look at what will be happening to Washington in 2011.  I will be looking at the House, the Senate, the White House, the Supreme Court, and Federal agencies.  Today I will look at the Senate.

While the Democrats lost the House, they were barely able to hold on to the Senate.  In the rare instance that a bill is voted 50-50, America’s favorite walking blooper (Joe Biden) gets to break the tie,

The primary role of the Senate in 2011 and 2102 will be to kill every Republican bill passed by the house.  Many of the alternatives the Democrats will offer will be filibustered by Republican Senators.

My advice for the Senate is the same as it was for the House:  Instead of passing a Republican plan or a Democratic plan, pass my platform.  Not only do I have a plan that is different than either the Democrats or the Republicans, but I will let them take the credit for my ideas should they decide to pass my platform as it is.

I predict that instead of moving America forward with my platform, the Senate will play the “blame game” saying that the Republicans will not pass a bill that President Obama will vote for.

January 4, 2011 Posted by | commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, issues, Joe Biden, legislation, postaday2011, Republicans, satire, Washington | | 2 Comments

My Take on President Obama’s Birth Certificate

As a candidate for President in 2008 and 2012, I find the debacle over President Obama’s birth certificate amusing.  Many people are assuming that President Obama was born in Kenya.  The truth is that he was born in Hawaii and to the best of my knowledge, Hawaii does not issue birth certificates to babies born in Kenya.

The reason why there is so much secrecy over President Obama’s birth certificate isn’t over where he was born, but when.  I think President Obama was born on August 4, 1974.  Today is his 35th birthday.  This is important because in order to take the Office of the Presidency, he or she must be 35 years of age before taking office.  “President” Obama was only 34 when he took the oath of office, a violation of the Constitution.

Part of me thinks that President Obama should step down because he was too young to become President.  Part of me is scared that if he does step down, we would be stuck with Joe Biden as President.  My solution would be to install myself as interm President until 2012, but that solution, unfortunately, is unconstitutional.  I would allow Obama to remain President for the rest of this term but declare him ineligible to run for reelection in 2012.

Happy 35th Birthday, “President” Obama!

August 4, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , | 4 Comments

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