Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

More Dangerous than Kim Jong Un

Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper

I apologize to those of you who thought that this was going to be about me. It’s not. It is about the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper.  Kim Jong Un appears to be dangerous because he talks a lot of trash and backs it up by firing bottle rockets.  Stephen Harper is a silent man.  His weapons are covert and are not noticed until they have penetrated deeply into American culture.

His spy program is unparalleled in the cloak-and-dagger industry.  While other countries tend to get their spies to blend in with the general populace, Canadian spies climb to the top of their respective fields.  This is most true in the entertainment industry.

Why does infiltrating the Great American Entertainment Industry cause a big threat to national security?  Because entertainment is the last great export America possesses.  Canada has continually diluted American entertainment by sneaking spies like Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, and Norm MacDonald to sneak into the American entertainment industry.  It has gotten to the point that American entertainment is beginning to look like Canadian entertainment.  The transformation will be complete when poutine and Timbits become staples in “green rooms” across the country.

Stephen Harper must be stopped NOW!

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April 1, 2013 Posted by | Canada, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on More Dangerous than Kim Jong Un

The Sandy Controversy

A lot of Hurricane Sandy doesn’t make sense, especially when compared to similar hurricanes that have gone up the Atlantic coastline in the past.  Here are a few reasons why I think Sandy is a manufactured storm created by the government:

  • Most hurricanes stay away from cold fronts.  Sandy is expected to make a head-on collision with a cold front currently in eastern Ohio.
  • The air temperature in the days before a hurricane is usually warmer than normal and the air is normally oppressively humid.  The temperature has been below normal for the last few days and the air isn’t very humid.
  • The unemployment rate in New Jersey is currently 9.8%.  The entire state is expected to be devastated by Sandy.  A lot of people will be needed with the cleanup and rebuilding.  A classic case of “Broken Windows Economics”.
  • Election Day is a week from Tuesday.  With all of these people getting jobs, the October jobs report to be released Friday morning will show an increase in employment (largely due to cleanup and restoration due to Sandy.)

Other “coincidences” include the hurricane making landfall during an astronomical high time.  There will be a prolonged saturation of rain and wind in an area that is already oversaturated by recent rains.  This will lead to downed trees and power lines, closed roads, and a prolonged period away from the nudie bar.

I’m not normally big on conspiracy theories, but I can’t help but think that this is president Obama’s “October Surprise” and that the Cinemafia was instrumental in helping Obama in a diabolical scheme to see that I do not get elected President.

October 28, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, economy, humor, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Behind the Scenes of a New Law

The most evil people in government isn’t who we elect, it’s who they select.  Most politicians aren’t evil.  They are looking out for their futures.  Their motivation is money for their re-election campaigns and helping out their “buddies” who helped them get elected.  It is these “buddies” who are evil.  They are opportunistic and often write the laws that the politicians would pass.

One example is the latest soft drink law passed by New York City’s City Council.  It was a pet project by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and passed by the Council.  The law, which prohibits soft drinks to be sold in open containers larger than 16 fluid ounces in places like movie theaters and restaurants.  A customer can still buy 32 ounces of soda, but it has to be in two 16 ounce cups instead of a big gulp cup.

The official reason why this bill became law is that it “fights obesity.”  If City Council really wanted to fight obesity, they would have also banned larger sized bottles of soda.  They could have banned Twinkies.  They could have mandated exercise.  They didn’t.  There is more to this law that meets the eye.

People aren’t going to movies as often as they used to.  The Cinemafia has to recoup their losses somehow.  People are already complaining about the prices of soda and popcorn in concession stands.  They can’t just quit selling large sodas on their own – it’s too unnatural.  So they talk to their local City Councilperson as a “concerned citizen”.  They claim that people are getting obese because of large soft drinks at movie theaters and at restaurants.  They include restaurants as a guise because restaurants are dead against such a law and the Cinemafia doesn’t want to give the appearance that they will be the only people to benefit from the new law.

How does the Cinemafia benefit from this law?  They benefit by getting more money for soda without raising prices.  A 16-ounce soda goes for about $4.00 while a 32-ounce goes for $5.00.  By emphasizing that the new law allows customers to buy two 16-ounce sodas instead of one 32-ounce soda, they can charge $8.00 instead of the $5.00 they currently get for 32 ounces.

This bill will not combat obesity.  It won’t stop customers from getting obese nor will it do anything to slim the wallets of the Cinemafia.  The next time you hear that someone is a “concerned citizen”, find out why he or she is so concerned.

 

September 16, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Welcome Cinemafia!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Cinemafia and why I have been fighting them for the last four years, here is a listing of my previous writings explaining who they are and what they do that is so offensive.  They try to act stealth, but sometimes they let their hair down.  Below is a screenshot of such an instance:

The reason why they don’t want me is simple:  I know what they are up to and I fight all that they are about.  They need to be taken down before they get to my daughter and to your children.

The reason why I am welcoming them to my site is twofold:  The first reason is because I welcome everybody to my site.  I am a welcoming kind of guy.  The second ls to let them know that I (and now, you) are on to them and they will have to change their act before I take more drastic measures.  Together we will defeat the Cinemafia and all the evil they cause.

August 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Problems Abroad

Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris.  He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken.  He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone.  He says his phone is really rather dumb.

Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris.  The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands.  Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam.  He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.

I called him at his hotel this morning.  He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation.  People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent.  He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.

People also thought he was running for the President of France.  They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris.  He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World.  They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.

One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate.   He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.

He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow.  He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”.  It cost him in German popularity the last time.

June 9, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A New Low

The more I unearth the diabolical plans of the Cinemafia, the more disgusted I become.  It started with the high prices of entertainment for subpar movies.  I wish it ended there as that is harmless as compared to the other things I have found out about them over the years:

  • Using underaged girls as sex symbols only to toss them aside once they turn 18 years of age.  These young women often end up living lives that often resemble a train wreck.  Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. and others were once wholesome young girls who were pimped out by the Cinemafia by looking sexy before they were old enough to look sexy.
  • Having shows that are geared for children and adding sexual overtones.
  • It was recently discovered that children actors were used for sexual favors by casting members.

I have discussed all of this in the past.  While all of these are horrific, I am saddened that it doesn’t end there.  They are no longer satisfied by introducing Hollywood children to their perversions.  Now they are after your children.

"Princess" sippy cup erect for your child.

What was Disney thinking with the straw placement of the princess? I highly doubt it was a wholesome thought.

If you still go to movies or rent them after all of the evidence I have shown, then I am speechless.  Maybe I am just a prude who thinks that girls shouldn’t be subject to my sexual advances until they turn 18.  Personally, I prefer they are at least 21 years of age as alcohol makes it easier for women to be positively receptive to my advances.

I will continue to fight the Cinemafia and expose them for what they are, even if it is a fight I must fight alone.  They are so wrong on so many levels that it’s sad.  While Barack Obama is in Afghanistan and Mitt Romney is around America trying to convince people that he is a fun guy (or is it fungi?), I will fight the fight that must be fought.

Happy May Day from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

May 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, satire | , , , , | 6 Comments

“The Titanic” and the Evilness of the CineMafia

“The Titanic” won an Oscar for “Best Picture” in 1997.  It was bad enough that the Motion Picture Academy overlooked such timeless classics as “Liar Liar” and “Men in Black.”  But it somehow managed to beat the other nominated movies of 1997, including “Good Will Hunting” and “The Full Monty.”  Both of those movies were better movies.

Picking the wrong movie isn’t what makes the CineMafia evil.  The evilness comes from them deciding to re-release the movie in theaters this weekend.    The evil comes from the timing of the re-release.  Sunday will be the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking.  The CineMafia thought it would be a good time to celebrate the sinking of the Titanic and the death of 1,514 people and make a few bucks while celebrating.  The movie will be in the traditional 2-D as well as in 3-D.

It is reasons like this why I have been boycotting major movies and have fighting the CineMafia as the foundation of my presidential campaign.  When the CineMafia is not celebrating death, they are turning 14-year old girls like Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan into underaged sex symbols only to toss them aside when they turn 18 and watch their lives turn into a train wreck.

I am the only presidential candidate who dares to take on the CineMafia and all the evil that it is.  Evil has flourished for too long and it is time to put an end to it.  Don’t see “The Titanic” or any other CineMafia production.  Starve them of their revenue and hopefully the movies will start getting good again like they were before 1984.  The more they are fed, the more evil they become.  If you have to watch something about a shipwreck this week, I would suggest watching “Gilligan’s Island.”  At least nobody died in the sinking of the S.S. Minnow.

April 12, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, humor, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on “The Titanic” and the Evilness of the CineMafia

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