Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Welcome Cinemafia!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Cinemafia and why I have been fighting them for the last four years, here is a listing of my previous writings explaining who they are and what they do that is so offensive.  They try to act stealth, but sometimes they let their hair down.  Below is a screenshot of such an instance:

The reason why they don’t want me is simple:  I know what they are up to and I fight all that they are about.  They need to be taken down before they get to my daughter and to your children.

The reason why I am welcoming them to my site is twofold:  The first reason is because I welcome everybody to my site.  I am a welcoming kind of guy.  The second ls to let them know that I (and now, you) are on to them and they will have to change their act before I take more drastic measures.  Together we will defeat the Cinemafia and all the evil they cause.

August 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

End of an Error

All bad things must come to an end.  This includes the “popularity” of Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  His new CD “Believe” is not selling as well as the Cinemafia and the Canadian government had hoped.  The era of “Beliebers” is over.  Americans have had enough of this spy and are demanding real entertainment.

It may be possible that I do not win the election in November.  That will not stop me from making the changes that America needs to make.  I will still fight the Cinemafia and do my best to make sure to spot Canadian spies as soon as they try to infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry.  I will also lobby elected officials to make sure that Vanna White’s birthday becomes a federal holiday.  It will be hard if I am not elected, but I will fight and make sure my entire platform is implemented.

 

June 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, issues, Platform, satire, Vanna White | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Problems Abroad

Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris.  He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken.  He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone.  He says his phone is really rather dumb.

Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris.  The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands.  Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam.  He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.

I called him at his hotel this morning.  He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation.  People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent.  He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.

People also thought he was running for the President of France.  They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris.  He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World.  They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.

One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate.   He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.

He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow.  He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”.  It cost him in German popularity the last time.

June 9, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Mellow Time

There isn’t much happening this week either on the campaign trail or on the work front, so I will be chilling this week.  Things are subject to change upon notice as things happen quickly.  Assuming nothing newsworthy happens this week, I will be doing the following:

  • Cull over polling data – I am more interested in polling data conducted by my campaign than by traditional sources because my campaign polls include me as a candidate in most of the polls.
  • Reassess my platform – Place more emphasis on stuff people are interested in  9like my position on abortion) and less emphasis on positions that people disagree with me on.  (I am not going to flip-flop, but rather hope that people who disagree with me on an issue look at the other issues that we agree)
  • Help people who have been hurt the most by the recession – I will be holding fundraisers for people who are no longer to offer caviar at their parties due to the cost of caviar and lost jobs.  People shouldn’t have to live in such a dire situation.

My “mellow time” seems like I will be doing a lot, but it’s really much less than what I have been doing.

May 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Mellow Time

A New Low

The more I unearth the diabolical plans of the Cinemafia, the more disgusted I become.  It started with the high prices of entertainment for subpar movies.  I wish it ended there as that is harmless as compared to the other things I have found out about them over the years:

  • Using underaged girls as sex symbols only to toss them aside once they turn 18 years of age.  These young women often end up living lives that often resemble a train wreck.  Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. and others were once wholesome young girls who were pimped out by the Cinemafia by looking sexy before they were old enough to look sexy.
  • Having shows that are geared for children and adding sexual overtones.
  • It was recently discovered that children actors were used for sexual favors by casting members.

I have discussed all of this in the past.  While all of these are horrific, I am saddened that it doesn’t end there.  They are no longer satisfied by introducing Hollywood children to their perversions.  Now they are after your children.

"Princess" sippy cup erect for your child.

What was Disney thinking with the straw placement of the princess? I highly doubt it was a wholesome thought.

If you still go to movies or rent them after all of the evidence I have shown, then I am speechless.  Maybe I am just a prude who thinks that girls shouldn’t be subject to my sexual advances until they turn 18.  Personally, I prefer they are at least 21 years of age as alcohol makes it easier for women to be positively receptive to my advances.

I will continue to fight the Cinemafia and expose them for what they are, even if it is a fight I must fight alone.  They are so wrong on so many levels that it’s sad.  While Barack Obama is in Afghanistan and Mitt Romney is around America trying to convince people that he is a fun guy (or is it fungi?), I will fight the fight that must be fought.

Happy May Day from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

May 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, Obama, satire | , , , , | 6 Comments

“The Titanic” and the Evilness of the CineMafia

“The Titanic” won an Oscar for “Best Picture” in 1997.  It was bad enough that the Motion Picture Academy overlooked such timeless classics as “Liar Liar” and “Men in Black.”  But it somehow managed to beat the other nominated movies of 1997, including “Good Will Hunting” and “The Full Monty.”  Both of those movies were better movies.

Picking the wrong movie isn’t what makes the CineMafia evil.  The evilness comes from them deciding to re-release the movie in theaters this weekend.    The evil comes from the timing of the re-release.  Sunday will be the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking.  The CineMafia thought it would be a good time to celebrate the sinking of the Titanic and the death of 1,514 people and make a few bucks while celebrating.  The movie will be in the traditional 2-D as well as in 3-D.

It is reasons like this why I have been boycotting major movies and have fighting the CineMafia as the foundation of my presidential campaign.  When the CineMafia is not celebrating death, they are turning 14-year old girls like Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan into underaged sex symbols only to toss them aside when they turn 18 and watch their lives turn into a train wreck.

I am the only presidential candidate who dares to take on the CineMafia and all the evil that it is.  Evil has flourished for too long and it is time to put an end to it.  Don’t see “The Titanic” or any other CineMafia production.  Starve them of their revenue and hopefully the movies will start getting good again like they were before 1984.  The more they are fed, the more evil they become.  If you have to watch something about a shipwreck this week, I would suggest watching “Gilligan’s Island.”  At least nobody died in the sinking of the S.S. Minnow.

April 12, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, humor, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on “The Titanic” and the Evilness of the CineMafia

Process of Elimination

I know it is hard for my supporters to believe, but there are some people who are not impressed with my platform.  Some people think that I am not a “viable candidate.”  (Many of those people had donated to Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, and that other guy, but have nothing to show for it.)  Before you decide not to vote for me, let me show you why none of the candidates I am about to mention are worthy of your vote.

Barack Obama:

  • Promised the US would get out of Afghanistan.
  • Promised a more transparent government.
  • Plagiarized “RomneyCare” and re-named it “ObamaCare”.
  • Picked North Carolina to win the 2012 NCAA Tournament.

Mitt Romney:

  • Is against “ObamaCare” but favors the pre-plagiarized “RomneyCare”.
  • Changes his position on issues more often than most people change underwear.
  • Looks like the guy I bought an AMC Pacer from at the used car lot.

Rick Santorum:

  • Tried to represent Pennsylvania as Senator while living in Virginia.
  • Lost by 16% in his last re-election attempt.
  • Is thought of by others to have a frothy mix of fecal matter and anal lube named in his honor.

Newt Gingrich:

  • Is Newt Gingrich.
  • Has a bad habit of dumping his wife when she gets cancer.
  • Is the only House Speaker to get slapped with a slew of ethics charges.

Ron Paul:

  • Is old.  Really, really old.
  • Is hated by his own party more than by any other party.
  • Doesn’t get asked many questions in debates.

Other party candidates have yet to be announced.  They are all going to have a hard time competing with President Obama and whomever wins the Republican nomination with almost no interviews on national TV, not being mentioned in polls, not being invited to debates, and not raising the hundreds of millions the Democrats and Republicans raise for their candidates.  (I speak from experience here.)

I have a full detailed platform that is from common sense and not from party pandering or from lobbyists.  If you vote for anybody else besides myself or Ron Paul (I had to reach for his negatives), then I have to wonder what you are thinking.  Forgive me for the bluntness, but there’s no way to sugarcoat my reaction to such stupidity.

March 27, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, Democrats, editorial, election, humor, issues, Obama, Platform, politics, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , | 4 Comments

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