Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I’m Not Ready

Former Secretary of State and Senator Hillary Clinton announced today that she is running for President.  Senators Rand Paul and Ted Cruz have already announced that they are going to run along with Ben Carson.

As bad as things are right now, I do not know if any of these people can improve things, let alone getting America on track to a prosperous future.  Same goes for Jeb Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Marco Rubio, and Dave Mustaine.

It is not because these people are not capable to bring good times to America.  It is because it is not in their best interest to improve America.  They are more interested in their legacy and making sure THEY have a prosperous future than making sure that you and I do.  This is modern-day American politics at its worst.

This is my third campaign for President.  I have learned a few things in my previous campaigns.  The first thing I learned is that the only way to take money out of politics is to not put money into politics in the first place.  This belief is the reason why I do not ask for political campaign contributions.  We cannot expect a candidate to be fiscally conservative in office if he or she is not fiscally conservative on the campaign trail.  What they do on the trail is a reflection of what they will do in office.

I’m not ready for Hillary… or Ted… or Rand… or Dave (Though it would be cool if Megadeth played at my Inaugural Ball.)

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April 12, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Iowa GOP, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I’m Not Ready

Here We Go Again!

I tried to live a normal life, but I was not meant to have a normal life.  Some people can’t work a  9:00AM until 5:00PM job.  A few people can’t eat ordinary processed foods due to various allergies and ailments.  There are even people who insist on setting up a roll of toilet paper with the paper to pull down in front of the roll.

Every time I try to resume a normal life away from politics, something happens and people feel compelled to drag me back in the fire.  There were two things that happened in the last week that got people upset enough that they had to talk to me into running for President.

The first thing was President Obama proposing that voting be mandatory.  Many people are petrified that the only options on a Presidential ballot are Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush.  I know that the Libertarian, Green, Birthday, and other Parties will have candidates, but most people are conditioned to believe that there are only two candidates.

I mentioned the second point in my most recent blog entry.  My biggest fear with a Ted Cruz “presidency” is that Stephen Harper will be the de facto President of the United States.  If you have seen how badly he is running Canada, there is no way you’d want him to be running our country.

It will take me a while before my campaign is fully operational.  My first order of business is to find a volunteer campaign manager who is not currently in prison or living on a commune because he or she found Harry Kirshner.Hare Krishna.  The campaign should be fully operational by the second weekend of April.

March 26, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Here We Go Again!

Canada’s Latest Weapon

Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man.  Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta.  Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada.  Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.

If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.

I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States.  I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada.  If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.

March 24, 2015 Posted by | Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Poll Question

President Obama is toying around with the concept of making voting mandatory.  A lot of people who currently refuse to vote do so because they do not like any of the choices and they haven’t heard of me and my ideas.

There was a poll taken last week and it needs to be returned.

March 21, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Obama, politics, Poll, satire, voting | , , | Comments Off on Poll Question

WANTED: Running Mate

If you have some free time between January 2017 and January 2021, please consider running as my running mate in the 2016 election.  Below are the requirements that must be met in order to be considered to be a Vice President:

  • Must be at least 35 years old by January 20, 2017.
  • Must be a United States citizen not residing in the State of Delaware. (The President and Vice-President must be from different states as per the U.S. Constitution.
  • Must not have a police record with any felonies.

If you meet the criteria and you want to considered a candidate to be my running mate, then send an e-mail to my campaign manager the reasons why you should be my running mate.  The e-mail should include the following:

  1. Why my campaign excites you.
  2. The skills and experience you can add.
  3. Your best Chili Con Carne recipe.
  4. Why you would be assassination insurance so I can live throughout our term.

If you are interested in a cabinet position or the position of First Lady, feel free to e-mail my campaign manager indicating the position you desire (doggy style is not a cabinet position) and a brief summary including the first three points of the Vice-President position.

 

Applications will be accepted until February 16, 2015 at 12:00PM Eastern Standard Time.  Enter early and often!  America needs you!

November 15, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on WANTED: Running Mate

So Much to Do

I am going to have a lot of catching up to do.  My campaign manager is unavailable until the end of the month because he is busy doing things that are not as important as getting me elected,  I will be more active in social media.  I will try to drive without giving idiot less skilled drivers the middle finger when they drive like a jerk incorrectly.

Setting up campaign stops will be difficult so the plan for this month is to find crowds and speak to them.  This was part of my strategy in the 2008 campaign and it worked until I found a crowd at a funeral home.

The good news is that I have already reached the goal of money raised for the campaign to $0.00.  The bad news is that my good looks and my suave persona are not enough to get ads on television.  My plan is not to use television, newspapers, or tarot card readers as those all cost money and fewer people use those sources than in the past.

There will be no live interaction shows for the foreseeable future because of the constant chaos in my house.  I will send notifications as soon as I find a solution.  Interacting with people is one of my stronger strengths.

If you want to help out the campaign, you can use the #TeamAhmnodt hashtag when you use social media like Facebook or Twitter.  It also fits nicely in the “memo” section of checks.  It will make a great conversation starter.

Thank you for taking the time to read today’s entry.  I am off to watch to news and try to figure out what is going on in the world.

July 1, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on So Much to Do

For Those Tired of the Same Old

If you’re old enough to have seen things since the 1980’s, you have notice that many things have changed and many haven’t.  Most of the change for the better include cell phones, internet, and video recording clear enough that you don’t get static lines all over the screen when the picture is paused during a hot porno scene.  These can all be attributed to the private sector wanting to make things better.

You would also notice that airport security is much tighter and includes an occasional grope.  There are fewer places for smokers to go to smoke and relieve themselves from the need to strangle an idiot.  Just about everything comes with a warning label, including one for peanut butter to remind us that peanut butter contains peanuts.  These can all be attributed to government wanting to make things better.

Private sector changes will happen regardless of who gets elected in 2016.  Gadgets will be cooler to play with and be more efficient.  Government will also make changes regardless of who gets elected.  The difference between other candidates and me is that I won’t have a lobby group funding any portion of my campaign.  I will put on my private-sector thinking cap and make government better.  There is already positive feedback about my TSA plan of turning TSA security guards into massage therapists.  I would do away with mandating labels on peanut butter because if a person can’t figure out that peanut butter contains peanuts, then he or she deserves the outcome of one’s actions.

Most of the candidates that are being considered to run for President have spent a lot of time in government and are limited to using government-type solutions to problems that only government people can conjure up.  I am a lifetime private sector employee and business owner who has a history of making things better by using private sector solutions.  Choose wisely, grasshopper.

June 30, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, change, commentary, election, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on For Those Tired of the Same Old

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