Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Only Poll That Matters

The Council on Presidential Debates requires that a candidate gets 15% of votes in polling.  Until now, the choices that were offered in the polls were few and incomplete as not all candidates were mentioned.  This poll will not include all the candidates, just candidates who do not have a negative approval rating.

Who will you vote for President of the United States?

A) Ahmnodt Heare

B) Vermin Supreme

c) other


I hope to have a polling app edited into this post soon, until then, feel free to answer in the comments section.





May 27, 2016 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Poll | , , | 2 Comments

Poll Question

President Obama is toying around with the concept of making voting mandatory.  A lot of people who currently refuse to vote do so because they do not like any of the choices and they haven’t heard of me and my ideas.

There was a poll taken last week and it needs to be returned.

March 21, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Obama, politics, Poll, satire, voting | , , | Comments Off on Poll Question

Sneaking Up on Me

Election Day is less than a month away.  I hadn’t given it much thought because I moved within a month of Election Day and am ineligible to vote.  I’m not running for office this year, so there isn’t this “last-minute” campaigning that I usually do when after four years of campaigning I am still polling in the single digits.  (By “single-digits”, I mean single-digits of votes and not percentage of votes.)

For those who are new to the campaign, “Orgies for Abstinence” is a movement I started in 2009.  This event takes place twice a year.  The first one occurs the Friday after Easter.  This allows people who swore off abstinence for Lent to get back to their ways.  The second happens on Election Night.  This allows Americans feel what is like being a politician feels towards the people.  “Orgies for Abstinence” is just like fighting for peace.  Since politicians love the latter, it should make sense that they would like the former.

I haven’t planned an “Orgies for Abstinence” and it is unlikely that I will be able to plan one with the awesomeness that people expect from my Orgies for Abstinence campaigns.  I do plan on partaking on the festivities providing there is one happening on the Delmarva peninsula.  There is too much happening in my personal life (Taking care of my parents, looking for a business niche to fill, walking the dog every day, and finding a dominatrix who uses safe words I can pronounce.

October 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, Personal Life, politics, Poll, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Sneaking Up on Me

State-by-State Polling Data

The latest poll conducted by the Telepathic Data Polling Corporation (TDPC) shows that not only am I mentioned in most states, that I am winning in Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Michigan, Montana, North Carolina, New Hampshire, Nevada, Oregon, South Dakota, and West Virginia.  I will need a majority of the electoral votes because the Constitution states that a candidate has to have a majority of electoral votes and that simply having the most among three or more candidates is not enough.

While the reason why people are voting for whom they are voting for was not asked in the poll, Sierra Lightpath from Thermopolis, Wyoming stated it best in a telepathic message:

“If either the Democrats’  or Republicans’ policies have worked, we’d all belong to the same party.”


If you live in one of the states where I am in a close second or third place, please tell a stranger or two about my campaign.  (Talking to friends about politics is a good way to lose friends.)  I will be spending the bulk of this week in New Jersey and Delaware and will try to find time to get to the states I am close in the polling.

The latest is a state-by-state update:

AL – Romney 35 Heare 32 Obama 32

AK – Romney 57 Obama 40 Heare 1

AR – Heare 47 Romney 32 Obama 20

AZ – Romney 45 Heare 43 Obama 8

CA – Obama 57 Romney 23 Heare 10

CT – Obama 62 Heare 20 Romney 12

CO – Heare 75 Romney 14 Obama 11

DC – Obama 92 Heare 7 Romney 1

DE – Obama 53 Heare 47 Romney 10

FL – Heare 40 Romney 30 Obama 28

GA – Heare 34 Romney 33 Obama 33

HI – Obama 61 Heare 30 Romney 10

IA – Obama 47 Romney 43 Heare 9

ID – Heare 47 Romney 27 Obama 20

IN – Heare 50 Obama 25 Romney 24

KS – Romney 80 Obama 20 Heare 20

KY – Heare 100

LA – Romney 43 Heare 40 Obama 18

MA – Obama 59 Heare 40 Romney 2 Johnson 2

MD – Obama 49 Romney 43 Heare 11

ME – Heare 48 Obama 42 Romney 14

MI – Heare 55 Obama 30 Romney 15

MN – Obama 51 Romney 47 Heare 20

MO – Romney 35 Heare 34 Obama 34

MS – Romney 58 Obama 30 Heare 12

MT – Heare 75 Romney 21 Obama 23

NC – Heare 60 Obama 20 Romney 18

ND – Romney 38 Obama 37 Heare 35

NE – Romney 43 Heare 42 Obama 25

NH – Heare 58 Obama 42 Romney 7

NJ – Obama 59 Heare 50 Romney (-9)

NM –  Obama 47 Romney 46 Heare 7

NV – Heare 70 Obama 25 Romney 10

NY – Obama 59 Romney 49 Heare (-8)

OH – Romney 40 Obama 40 Heare 20

OK – Romney 56 Obama 44 (Heare is not allowed to be on the ballot in OK due to OK laws)

OR – Heare 95 Obama 4 Romney 2

PA – Obama 47 Romney 46 Heare 9

RI – Obama 58 Romney 30 Heare 10

SC – Romney 60 Obama 20 Heare 18

SD – Heare 34 Obama 33 Romney 33

TN – Romney 34 Obama 29 Heare 28 Nader 20

TX – Romney 49 Heare 40 Obama 32

UT – Romney 101

VA – Obama 40 Heare 30 Romney 29

VT – Obama 60 Heare 39 Romney 3

WA – Obama 45 Romney 30 Heare 30

WI – Obama 41 Romney 39 Heare 31

WV – Heare 91 Romney 20 Obama (-11)

WY – Romney 75 Obama 11 Heare 11 Stein 11


Canada – Obama 78 Heare 21 Romney 3

United Kingdom – Heare 62 Obama 38 Romney 1

Lichtenstein – Heare 89 Obama 6 Romney 6

China –  Romney 51 Bush 49


Margin of Error +/- 50%

NOTE:  Not all numbers equal 100% due to rounding and/or bad arithmetic.


October 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, politics, Poll, satire | , , , | Comments Off on State-by-State Polling Data

Brief Poll

Today has been a busy day at the office as I met a client who has had a total of four days experience with the internet and had never had an e-mail account.  I spent the day teaching him the finer points of the internet like e-mail, social networking, and surfing the web for improtant stuff like news, business, and porn.

Tonight at 9:ooPM Eastern is a debate on NBC.  I will once again be taking to Twitter and Facebook giving how I would respond to the questions as well as giving my cutting-edge commentary on the other candidates.  I have been criticized by some people for not being hard on Ron Paul on debates.  This is mostly because he isn’t asked as many questions as the other candidates.

I want to do something different and I would appreciate your input.  My campaign is all about anyway.  The “State of the Union” address is tomorrow night.  There is a debate on Thursday night.  I want to comment live on AhmnodtTV for either the State of the Union tomorrow or the debate on Thursday.


January 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, debate, Obama, politics, Poll, Social Networking, State of the Union | , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Fix is In!

The media has missed a few things involving yesterday’s primary in South Carolina.  Below are the results:


Results courtesy of Google Politics

The first question I am asking is how can a candidate who had to cancel campaign events due to lack of interest the day before the primary win the primary by over 12 percentage points?  Here was a man who was getting badly in the polls earlier in the week.  After the poll was taken it was discovered that The Newtered One wanted an opened marriage with his second wife so he can have affairs.  One would think that would have hurt him more, especially in a state with a large evangelical Christian voting bloc.  Yet he managed to win big.

The second question had to do with the 90,000 deceased people who voted.  I was the only candidate who bothered to court this demographic.  One would have thought that with just the deceased vote I would have enough votes to finish ahead of Ron Paul.  South Carolina and I share a common bond – an appreciation for Vanna White and all that She stands for.  She was born in North Myrtle Beach and South Carolinians like their people.  I have had a good relationship with the Vanna White supremacists in the state.  That should have helped me get more votes.  If you take the 90,000 votes from Newt Gingrich, you would get a result more accurately reflecting the polls.

I hope that the Federal Election Commission, investigative journalists, and the Scooby-Doo gang all investigate the shenanigans of the election and fix it before Florida’a primary and that this does not happen again!

January 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, Poll, satire, Vanna White, voting | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Building Block

A recent poll showed that a plurality of Americans are neither Democratic nor Republican.  This is great news for independents like me.  The latest poll shows the following:

  • Independents – 40%
  • Democrats – 31%
  • Republican – 27%
  • Other parties (Libertarian, Green, Constitution, Rent is too Dammed High, etc.) – 2%

Let’s assume for a minute that everybody votes along party lines.  President Obama will get 31% of the vote.  Ron Paul will get 27%.  Two percent of the vote will be split among candidates like Gary Johnson, Cynthia McKinney, Chuck Baldwin, and Jimmy McMillan.

This leaves 40% of the vote for the independent candidate.  That is me.  Just to play it safe (because this is a national number and not split among the other states), I will do some campaigning to get votes from Democrats and Republicans.  This will hopefully be the plan to get me all 538 electoral votes, which would give me the presidency.

Yesterday’s debate was weird.  It just was.  I ended up spending almost as much time defending some of the Republicans as I did getting my message out.  Somebody was posting anti-Ron Paul statuses on my newsfeed.  There were a few problems I had about this.  The first was that these people had no intention of voting for me.  They wouldn’t say who they were voting for.  And the “facts” they were saying about Ron Paul were inaccurate or outright lies.  If a candidate has a bad record, point out the bad record.  Don’t lie just to get a few votes.

The other was a question I posted on Twitter.  I had asked why NBC had former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer on all of its MSNBC talk shows showing sympathy for him for not being allowed to debate on FoxNews, ABC, or CNN only not letting him debate on the NBC debate either.

As the candidate with the most representation (among the polls listed above), I have to make sure I don’t lose any independents to the other parties.  Election Day is ten months from yesterday.  Independents take note that I am here to represent you and not some silly party with no dancing girls or beer kegs.  Thank you for your support.

January 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, economy, humor, Obama, politics, Poll, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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