Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

You Should Have Voted For Me

Benghazi. IRS. Fast and Furious.  These are just a few scandals currently swirling around President Obama and his administration.  Mitt Romney is living a private life.  This makes it hard to find out what scandalous plans he has cooked up.  2008 Republican candidate John McCain was in Syria to give support to Al-Qaeda  Syrian rebels after showing support to Al-Qaeda rebels during the Libyan uprising.

Unlike the candidates from the other parties, my scandals did not kill innocent lives.  They didn’t even kill guilty lives.  My scandals were limited to being hooked on phonics, my inability to find a Constitutionally eligible running mate in 2008, and buying pot brownies.

People tend to vote for glitz over substance.  They think it’s more important that a president is tall than is able to properly use “your” and “you’re” in a sentence.  They’d rather vote for someone with a twinkle in their eye than for someone with a tinkle on the toilet seat.  They would rather vote for a buffoon who looks astute than for a genius who looks mentally challenged.

Remember this blog entry when you vote in 2016.  Before you vote for that stud or hottie, remember that their scandals can kill.  I would suggest that you vote for me.  My scandals are safer,

 

Advertisements

June 2, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, Romney | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2012 in Review – April

April started out with the joke on me and ended up being a joke.  I was hospitalized and was unable to partake in the “Orgies for Abstinence”.  I was invited to debate other third party candidates, but I did not receive the invitation until the night before the debate.  Since the debate was in Los Angeles, I was unable to attend.

The month found me defending stay-at-home moms and bashing the Cinemafia be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking and over 1000 people dying.  The “Ahmnodt Heare Meme” was introduced.  The campaign went into attack mode with aggressively mentioning my campaign on blogs supporting Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Vermin Supreme, and Justin Bieber.

The attack mode was short-lived as some of my supporters complained of getting spammed with Justin Bieber videos and robo-calls from Obama’s and Romney’s campaigns as well as one supporter receiving repeated calls from a candidate running for Dog Catcher.

April showed so much promise in the beginning, but it ended up being a big April Fool’s joke.

December 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debate, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

November 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Big Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is a big day in America.  We will be deciding which direction America will take for 2013 and beyond.  We can vote for a better future, or we can vote for Mitt Romney or Barack Obama.  It’s up to you.

You want things to get better as much as I do.  This makes me believe that you will not be voting for Obama or Romney.  Nothing they have said or done has shown that they will do anything to make entertainment affordable.  Neither candidate has been in areas affected by Hurricane Sandy since President Obama went to the Jersey Shore on Friday  (He did not see Snooki or J-Woww.) .  I have been here since the storm hit – I have been through the blackouts and the never-ending odd-day/even-day gas lines.

I really haven’t gotten to campaign in the last week due to Superstorm Sandy.  I had said previously that I had planned on holding off running in 2016 and run in 2020 instead.  If there is a sharp enough drop in the vote total from the last poll taken by my campaign, then I will run in 2016.

Remember the importance of your decision when you vote tomorrow.  Remember that spelling counts in write-in ballots and here is an easy way to learn to spell Ahmnodt Heare.  May the Congressperson and/or Senator you vote for join me in Washington so we can get things done the right way.

 

November 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Romney, satire, voting, write-in | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Big Day Tomorrow!

The Problem With Debates

There are two points I got from last night’s debate:

  • Neither Obama or Romney won last night’s debate – I did.
  • Participants rarely answer the question asked.  If asked on how they will cut spending, they will answer by explaining in excruciating detail how “Dancing Queen” by ABBA has influenced their stance on abortion.

I’m not going to talk about the first point too much, but the second point summarizes much of what is wrong with America today.  Leaders are expected to obey rules as much as the general public is.  When a moderator says “Two Minutes,” she means two minutes.  She doesn’t mean two minutes and “I just want to add,” when time expires.  The same thing happens in Congress during a floor debate.  A Representative asks to speak for two minutes but never finishes in two minutes.  He or she always asks for more time.  This is poor preparation and our leaders should be well prepared.

Another thing that grinds my gears about last night’s debate is that Obama and Romney kept interrupting each other.  A real leader has to be able to listen and save his or her comments until after the debater is finished speaking.  My Dominatrix always lets me speak before She cracks Her whip and yells, “SILENCE!”  (Not that I say much in Her presence.)

How can we expect politicians to obey the law then they can’t even follow a few simple rules?  Until they do, things will never get better.

October 17, 2012 Posted by | commentary, debate, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Problem With Debates

Albee “Debating” Tonight

My running mate Albee Thayer will be “debating” tonight.  Like other independent and third party candidates, he will not be able to be on stage debating Vice-Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan.  Instead, Albee will be using the same chat room I used last week.

He has been here in New Jersey for the last couple days.  We have been practicing debating and answering questions.  I am confident that Albee will do well and he would have won the debate if he was invited.

The debate is at 9:00PM Eastern 6:00 Pacific on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, News12 New Jersey, and PBS.  The best answers will be supplied by Albee Heare here.

October 11, 2012 Posted by | Albee, debate, humor, Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, politics | , , | Comments Off on Albee “Debating” Tonight

Meaner than Mitt Romney

I was honored to be invited to a Q&A session at a community center in New Haven, CT.  For some reason when I received the invitation, I had confused “Q&A” with “T&A”.  This explained why I was so enthusiastic in replying to the invitation.  That was the first sign that this event was going to turn into a disaster.

The first question asked to me was who I thought won the debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney.  I responded with “I won.”  then explained that I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying as much as I was replying to the questions Jim Lehrer was asking.

I was asked my position on energy.  Some of the people appreciated that my ideas covered a wide spectrum of ideas while critics thought it was all over the place with no clear direction.  I agree with the former.

Someone thought if I would close PBS.  I told the questioner that I would not close PBS but I would no longer fund it.  I don’t understand why PBS needs government funding if they have so many fund drives on their networks or why they have so many fund drives if they need government funding.  Then there are the millions given to PBS by various foundations.   The questioner replied that I was meaner than Mitt Romney.  I was ridiculed by someone who claimed to be a science teacher for my position on global warming.  She claimed that my position was both simplistic and reckless.

I have another Q&A to attend tomorrow afternoon in Danbury, CT.  I’m a little disappointed that it was scheduled at the same time the Redskins were playing, but it’s one of the things I am going to have to do if I want to be President of the United States.

October 6, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debate, environment, humor, issues, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Meaner than Mitt Romney

%d bloggers like this: