Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

So Much to Do

I am going to have a lot of catching up to do.  My campaign manager is unavailable until the end of the month because he is busy doing things that are not as important as getting me elected,  I will be more active in social media.  I will try to drive without giving idiot less skilled drivers the middle finger when they drive like a jerk incorrectly.

Setting up campaign stops will be difficult so the plan for this month is to find crowds and speak to them.  This was part of my strategy in the 2008 campaign and it worked until I found a crowd at a funeral home.

The good news is that I have already reached the goal of money raised for the campaign to $0.00.  The bad news is that my good looks and my suave persona are not enough to get ads on television.  My plan is not to use television, newspapers, or tarot card readers as those all cost money and fewer people use those sources than in the past.

There will be no live interaction shows for the foreseeable future because of the constant chaos in my house.  I will send notifications as soon as I find a solution.  Interacting with people is one of my stronger strengths.

If you want to help out the campaign, you can use the #TeamAhmnodt hashtag when you use social media like Facebook or Twitter.  It also fits nicely in the “memo” section of checks.  It will make a great conversation starter.

Thank you for taking the time to read today’s entry.  I am off to watch to news and try to figure out what is going on in the world.

July 1, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on So Much to Do

Reviews and Previews

2012 is coming to a close and 2013 is about to be shoved in our faces.  Since this is generally a slow political period (aside from Congress and Obama wanting to drive us off a fiscal cliff), I will be spending the next few weeks reviewing 2012 and previewing 2013, taking it month by month.  Below is the schedule:

2012 in Review:

2013 in Preview:

  • January – 1/2
  • February – 1/3
  • March – 1/4
  • April – 1/5
  • May – 1/7
  • June – 1/8
  • July – 1/9
  • August – 1/10
  • September – 1/11
  • October – 1/12
  • November – 1/14
  • December – 1/15

A few days are skipped on purpose.  January 1 is skipped because it’s New Year’s Day.  It is bad luck to make a prediction on New Year’s Day.  All the money I have lost betting on bowl games over the years proves this.  January 6 and 13 are omitted because I expect the Washington Redskins to be playing playoff football on those days.

I may throw in an entry or two on what I am thinking during this time, but don’t hold your breath.  There will be updates on my Facebook page as well as my Twitter account.

December 19, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Obama, Social Networking | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Reviews and Previews

Tweet Number 6000 #ForSale

Click to read my latest tweets and follow me on Twitter!

Tweets, Following, and Followers accurate as of 8/30/2012 at 7:25PM EDT. Your mileage may vary.

Here is your chance to get some publicity for your business. Here is how this will work:

  1. Submit your bid to ahmnodtheare@politician.com as soon as possible.  Bid should include amount as a phone number to call should you are the winner.  Billing will be discussed by phone.
  2. Contest will end when I reach my 5,990 tweet.
  3.  If you win, you will be allowed to submit a tweet up to 134 characters.  Six spaces will be reserved for ” #6000″ so others will know it is my 6000th tweet.
  4. My 5999th tweet will announce the winning bid as well as the day and time the winner wishes the tweet to be released.
  5. I will use your company’s logo as my profile background from when I tweet my 5999th tweet until seven days after I release my 6000th tweet.
  6. Void where prohibited.  (I don’t know where it’s prohibited, but I threw in the disclaimer to make this look legitimate.)

All bids will be kept secret.  A complete list of bids will be available to anyone who wishes to see it when the winner is announced.  Good luck to one and all!

August 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Social Networking | , , , , | 2 Comments

Weird Dream

I had a dream that I won the election and became President.  That’s not the weird part.  I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.)  That’s not the weird part either.  The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage.  I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters.  The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage.  Below are some of the few reactions:

  • CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
  • MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket.  “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare?  How in the **** did he win?  Seriously, who is he?”
  • Fox News chose not to mention my name.  They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
  • Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
  • CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me.  They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
  • NBC News managed to find out something about me.  Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience.  Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
  • ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.

My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me.  TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.

Twitter was abuzz with the election.  The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.”  Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”

The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it.  The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won.  I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.

February 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Debating Debating

There is yet another debate tonight.  This one is in Arizona and will air on CNN at 8:00PM Eastern / 6:00PM Mountain.  I was debating on whether I was going to do anything in real time.  I have come to the conclusion that the Republicans are afraid of me and will not invite me to debate them.  The other candidates have tried to refrain from mentioning me, but they can’t help but slip an ad hominem attack; saying false things like “Ahmnodt Heare to continue’s Obama’s economic policies.”

I have decided to debate.  Though there have been 22 debates already, there hasn’t been a debate in almost a month.  There is only one debate among the Republicans after today and it won;t be until March 19.  I have decided to tweet my debate answers and rebuttals on Twitter because it will help me keep my answers short.  My tweets will appear on your Facebook wall if you are my Facebook friend.  I will accept friends until the start of the debate and after the debate.  I will answer to replies or questions posted on Facebook or on Twitter so feel free to ask!  (It’s not like Wolf Blitzer is going to ask me a question tonight.)

February 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Four-Year Cycles

A little over four years ago, I decided to run for President in the 2008 campaign.  I headed up to New Hampshire to campaign mainly because the primary was already over and I didn’t have to worry about any of the other candidates stealing my thunder.  I was alone in my hotel room on Valentine’s Day 2008 after a long day of campaigning.  After watching the local news, I realized that my campaign wasn’t making any traction.  I pulled out my laptop and decided to blog about my campaign.  “Alone in New Hampshire” was my first entry, four years ago today.  It was a very short entry, mostly with a rough video I had made and uploaded to YouTube.

The first month was rough.  There were days when nobody visited my website.  I kept blogging anyway, thinking that someday I would write something that people would be looking for.  My first break came when I had to cancel a portion of my campaign trip because my sea monkey passed away.  Apparently, I am not the only person who had to deal with the sudden loss of a pet.  I was suddenly getting 10-20 hits a day.

My next break came soon after the 2008 election.  Many people were disappointed with the results and wanted to see who the prospective candidates were going to be for 2012.  I had announced my intention to run in 2012 the day after the 2008 election.  I wasn’t about to spend any money on my campaign like I did in 2008.  (The $.60 I spent on copying posters proved to be futile.)  People looked for 2012 candidates on search engines and my blog was one of the first to pop up on many sites.

My biggest break came from Billy Mays.  He brought an additional 20 hits to my blog every day until his death.  In the days following his death, when people were searching Billy Mays material on the web, the average shot up to over 500 hits per day.

These numbers might not be impressive to many people (and they’re not to me), but I have learned that a large portion of that is because this is a politics blog and people don’t really like politics and will only go to a political blog when they want information (usually after people find out they’ve been screwed yet again.)

What I have learned is to expand my base.  In addition to this blog, I have a YouTube channel, a BlogTalk Radio show, a Ustream show, A Facebook and Twitter profile and also a fan page on Facebook.  Though I have expanded by leaps and bounds, this blog continues to be the backbone of my campaign and will continue to be until next January when I begin blogging from whitehouse.gov.

February 14, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Brief Poll

Today has been a busy day at the office as I met a client who has had a total of four days experience with the internet and had never had an e-mail account.  I spent the day teaching him the finer points of the internet like e-mail, social networking, and surfing the web for improtant stuff like news, business, and porn.

Tonight at 9:ooPM Eastern is a debate on NBC.  I will once again be taking to Twitter and Facebook giving how I would respond to the questions as well as giving my cutting-edge commentary on the other candidates.  I have been criticized by some people for not being hard on Ron Paul on debates.  This is mostly because he isn’t asked as many questions as the other candidates.

I want to do something different and I would appreciate your input.  My campaign is all about anyway.  The “State of the Union” address is tomorrow night.  There is a debate on Thursday night.  I want to comment live on AhmnodtTV for either the State of the Union tomorrow or the debate on Thursday.

 

January 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, debate, Obama, politics, Poll, Social Networking, State of the Union | , , , , , | 5 Comments

%d bloggers like this: