Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Important Message for North Carolina Democrats

Tuesday is North Carolina’s Primary in North Carolina.  President Obama has assured himself enough delegates to be the Democratic Party’s nominee.  There is a very important issue at stake this Tuesday that needs your vote.  It is on Amendment One.  (The Same-Sex Amendment).  North Carolinians will be voting on this issue regardless of party affiliation.  I am appealing specifically to Democrats for two reasons:

  • Democrats are more likely to vote “No” on Amendment One than Republicans are.  Republicans are going to go to the polls on Tuesday even though Mitt Romney is the presumptive nominee.  Ron Paul is still in the race and his supporters will vote.  The question with Ron Paul supporters is will they be the Republican Ron Paul supporters who agree with him that marriage is between a man and a woman or the Libertarian supporters who believe that the state has no business in marriage whatsoever.  Mitt Romney supporters will show up to the poll because the last thing they want to hear is that their man lost to Ron Paul.  Romney supporters will more than likely vote “yes”.  I support gay marriage.
  • Barack Obama is running unopposed but there are plenty of Democrats who are not happy with Obama’s Republican tendencies.   (His foreign policy, including still being in Afghanistan, his signing into law keeping the Bush tax cuts, signing SIPA into law, further erosion of liberties at airports, etc.)  These are all tell-tale signs that people might think he is a Republican.  I am against all of these things and more.  Send a message to Barack Obama and write in “Ahmnodt Heare” so he will know that you don’t want him to act like a Republican any more.

Remember to vote for “No” and write in “Ahmnodt Heare”.  (Not to be confused with “No to Ahmnodt Heare”.)

May 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire, write-in | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Important Message for North Carolina Democrats

New Experiment

Below is the list for the primaries and caucuses after today’s in South Carolina:

January 31, 2012 Florida (primary)
February 4, 2012 Nevada (caucus)
February 4–11, 2012 Maine (caucus)
February 7, 2012 Colorado (caucus)
Minnesota (caucus)
Missouri (primary)
February 28, 2012 Arizona (primary)
Michigan (primary)
March 3, 2012 Washington (caucus)
March 6, 2012
(Super Tuesday)
Alaska (caucus)
Georgia (primary)
Idaho (caucus)
Massachusetts (primary)
North Dakota (caucus)
Ohio (primary)
Oklahoma (primary)
Tennessee (primary)
Vermont (primary)
Virginia (primary)
March 6-10, 2012 Wyoming (caucus)
March 10, 2012 Kansas (caucus)
U.S. Virgin Islands (caucus)
March 13, 2012 Alabama (primary)
Hawaii (caucus)
Mississippi (primary)
March 17, 2012 Missouri (GOP caucus)
March 18, 2012 Puerto Rico (primary)
March 20, 2012 Illinois (primary)
March 24, 2012 Louisiana (primary)
April 3, 2012 District of Columbia (primary)
Maryland (primary)
Wisconsin (primary)
Texas (primary)
April 24, 2012 Connecticut (primary)
Delaware (primary)
New York (primary)
Pennsylvania (primary)
Rhode Island (primary)
May 8, 2012 Indiana (primary)
North Carolina (primary)
West Virginia (primary)
May 15, 2012 Nebraska (primary)
Oregon (primary)
May 22, 2012 Arkansas (primary)
Kentucky (primary)
June 5, 2012 California (primary)
Montana (primary)
New Jersey (primary)
New Mexico (primary)
South Dakota (primary)
June 26, 2012 Utah (primary)

I am not sure if my plan will work in caucuses, but my plan will in primaries and it will for the general election.  This innovative plan will be taught in Political Science courses for years to come.  Take a vacation anywhere in the United States on Election Day week!  Don’t vote on Election Day!  You have better things to do with your time than spending hours on line on Election Day only to be stuck behind people who don’t know how to fill out a ballot.

There are a few things you need to do before you go on vacation:

  • Go to the county (parish in Louisiana) (BOEE in Washington DC) Board of Elections and pick up an absentee ballot.
  • Fill in the ballot including “Ahmnodt Heare” (without quotes) under “President of the United States” .  Click the link if you need a way to remember how to spell my name.  And “Albee Thayer” for Vice-President.  Feel free to choose who you want for other offices on your ballot.  Make a photocopy for your records.
  • Mail the ballot (Original, not photocopy!) by October 23.  (Two weeks before the primary or caucus in your state for primaries and caucuses). This will allow plenty of time to make sure your ballot is received by Election Day.

This will leave you all Election Day to do whatever you want.  You can even campaign for me the entire time the polls are opened without having to worry about voting.

Enjoy your vacation and thank you for your support!

January 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire, voting, write-in | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on New Experiment

My Week in Review (Thus Far)

Like everything else in life, a presidential campaign has its ups and downs.  When it’s up, you want to stay up, and when it’s down, you want to get up and stay up.  When one is down, one can either wait for a break or create an opportunity.  I have chosen the latter and will explain why I am currently in Massachusetts despite not planning on being here later in this entry.

Sunday – Ames Iowa:  I was looking for a place to talk a little bit about politics while watching football.  I was a bit scared at first about the bar near my hotel.  I wanted to root for the Broncos, but the bar was decked out in black-and-gold and had a lot of football stuff.  I thought at first it was a Steelers’ bar until  I saw a bartender wearing a Tim Tebow jersey.  I saw a few patrons walk in wearing black and gold shirts, but they had “IOWA” on the chest with a hawkeye underneath.  It turns out that the University of Iowa’s football team and the Pittsburgh Steelers have the same colors and that Iowa adopted the Steelers’ colors in the 1970s to look more llike a championship.

Monday – I was in an antique store in Iowa City when a young woman came up to me asking for my autograph.  I happily obliged.  She looked disappointed.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said she thought I was running for President.  I told her I was running for President and gave her my web address.  She then said she thought I was Vermin Supreme.

Tuesday – I went to cemeteries, morgues, and libraries through Des Moines campaigning to the deceased.  I didn’t hear any objections from the cemeteries or libraries, but the morgue said I was getting in the way of autopsies.

Wednesday – Flew from Des Moines to Manchester, New Hampshire (via Chicago, Boston, and St.Louis).  Too tired to do anything by the time I got to Manchester at 11:30PM

Thursday – rented a car and drove to Dixville Notch.  I normally like it when I leave an impression on people and they remember me the next time I see them.  Most of the people didn’t remember me from my visit in 2010, but unfortunately, a few did.  Another person thought I was Vermin Supreme and wanted a pony.

It occurred to me that the South Carolina primary is next Saturday and not this Saturday.  I have also learned that they don’t allow write-in candidates in primaries.  And Manchester is not too far from Boston (or specifically, Foxboro).  I drove to Foxboro this morning looking for people who have tickets to tomorrow’s game between the Patriots and the Broncos.  I couldn’t find anybody with tickets.  (I don’t want tickets, I just wanted people to hold signs that can be shown on TV.)  I’m now at Logan Airport awaiting for my flight home.

January 13, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, write-in | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

One Year to Go

On November 6, 2012, people will be going to vote for President of the United States.  I will be among many Americans who will be writing in “Ahmnodt Heare” on that day.  How many other people writing in my name depends on a number of factors:

  • The visibility of my campaign – My campaign has increased in visibility over the last year, but much more needs to be done.  2011 will forever be know as the year that the name “Ahmnodt Heare” was mentioned in the media.
  • Word of mouth from my supporters – I am not suggesting mentioning me 24 hours a day.  Even I sleep on most nights.
  • Innovation:  Finding new and creative ways to get the word out that don’t cost any money.  (I am a fiscal conservative and refuse to raise money or spend money on my campaign.)  I am open to suggestions.
  • More work on my part – I have hired two people for my business.  The next two months will be spent training them and teaching them the ropes and what my clients expect.  Once this is finished, I will limit myself to meeting the clients, finding new clients, and accounting.  This will free up more time for campaigning, debates, and drinking.
There are 365 days until the 2012 elections.  The time is now!  (Though I’m going to wait until tomorrow as I have a nasty chest cold.)

November 7, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, Personal Life, satire, write-in | , , , , | 3 Comments

Real-Time Blogging Tonight

I will be blogging my response to the questions in tonight’s Republican Primary debate in Iowa.  I will also answer questions you may have to my responses to the debate questions.

If you are a Republican from Iowa and you are planning to vote in the straw poll, feel free to write my name (AHMNODT HEARE) in the poll.

August 11, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, debate, humor, Republicans, write-in | , , , | Comments Off on Real-Time Blogging Tonight

Changing my Name

I am thinking about changing my last name.  People change their names all the time to get themselves noticed.  Few people know who Jay Scott Greenspan, Jennifer Anastassakis, or Krishna Bhanji are, but we all know know who Jason Alexander, Jennifer Aniston, and Ben Kingsley are.

More recently, The Cincinnati Bengals’ Chad Johnson changed his name to Chad Ochocinco.  Ochocinco comes from the “85” in his jersey number.  “Ocho” is “Eight” and “Cinco” is “Five”.  Nobody confuses Chad Johnson of the Bengals with Chad Johnson, the goalie for the Hartford Wolfpack (The New York Rangers’ minor league affiliate) anymore.  The name change has worked out quite well for him.

My name change will be similar to Chad Ochocinco’s.  My first name will still be Ahmnodt.  I am named after the great Bulgarian sculptor Ahmnodt Fukinov, who recently passed away.  Neither of my parents would approve my changing my first name.  The change will be my last name.  I am thinking of changing my last name to Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco.  “Cuatro” is “four” and “cinco” is “five.”  “Forty-five” represents my being the forty-fifth President of the United States.

The name changes has it advantages, but it also has a few disadvantages:

  • Coming up with a catchy acronym for “Cuatrocinco” that people will remember to learn how to spell my last name.  I might as well write a book and try to recite it.
  • My daughter Patricia gets teased enough from kids whose mother and father are married and have the same last name.  I never married her mother, but Patricia has my last name.
  • “Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco for America.  Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco for You.” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.” does.

Should I change it or leave my name as it is?  Please leave a comment with your opinion.  I will weigh all opinions carefully before making a decision.  Thank you for your help in this matter.

November 20, 2010 Posted by | campaign, humor, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Hope for the Campaign

Lisa Murkowski’s victory in Alaska’s U.S. Senate race over Joe Miller brings a shiny ray of hope to my chances of winning in 2012.  Not because she has embraced any portion of my platform or because I embraced any portion of her platform.  It’s not because she has any intention of endorsing me in 2012.

The reason why there is hope for the campaign is because Lisa Murkowski won as a write-in candidate.  Her name was not on the ballot for U.S. Senate, yet she was able to get more people to write in her name than to pick another name.  She had a campaign for people to learn how to spell her name.  She opted for the rebus.  Below is an example on how people got to learn how to spell her name.

 

"Mur" + Cow with a "K" + Ski spells "Murkowski"

My plan is different (mainly because it’s hard to do “Ahmnodt” in rebus.  I have opted to go with the acronym.  “Ahmnodt” as an acronym goes like “A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.”  “Heare” turns out to be “Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic.”  The best part is you can wear the anagrams on the back of t-shirts so the people behind you can see who you are voting for without wearing “Vote for Ahmnodt Heare”, which you can’t wear at an election.

There is more for me to write, but right now I really need to get some of Dolly’s taters.

November 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, Platform, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , , | 2 Comments

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