Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

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November 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Smell a Conspiracy

I was looking at all of the mishaps that happened to my 2008 campaign and dismissed them as a bad stretch of luck at a bad time.  I was on the verge of winning the election before my old computer crashed, my dog kept getting sick during the debates (smart dag), and having to move from North Carolina to New Jersey after a series of mishaps.

Now to 2012:  The computer I got to replace my old computer crashed.  The dog I had passed away, but the dog I have now has to do his business during debates.  As far as I know I am not moving, but I might have to spend some time away from home as repairs are done to the pipes underneath my cement floor.  I think the CineMafia is responsible for this now as well as in 2008.  Nobody has more to lose if I become President then they do.  Even Canada wouldn’t spend that much time and resources to make sure I don’t win.  (Although the NHL is currently in lockout mode,  unfortunately Gary Bettman is an American).

I have announced recently that I currently do not plan on running for President in 2016.  If there is an overwhelming call from the public then I will change my mind and run.  I will have to keep the following things in mind:

  • If my dog passes between now and October 2016, then I will not get a new dog until after the 2016 election.
  • Buy a new computer before October 2016 and keep it away until the computer I am getting later this week breaks down.
  • Find a place to live that can survive the tough October weather in New Jersey.
  • Find a campaign manager who isn’t an anarchist and is only managing the campaign “for kicks.”

On the “Good News – Bad News” Front – I did my first “Three cities in three states in three hours” campaign bit today,  I walked from Matamoras, PA to Port Jervis, NY, to Montague, NJ and campaigned in each of those cities.  The only problems were that it rained the entire time and that I had to walk back to Matamoras to pick up my car.

October 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, politics | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I Smell a Conspiracy

Important Announcement

I have some good news and some bad news.  First the bad news:  I do not plan on running for President in 2016.  My daughter is nine years old and I would like to spend more time with her (especially since she lives in Washington DC and I live in northern New Jersey.)  I am not ruling it out.  If there is enough people to draft me to run in 2016, I will do so.  I will also consider running if things get worse between now and then or if the Cinemafia grows out of control.

Now the good news:  I plan on running in 2020.  I will probably start the day after Election Day 2016.  My daughter will be 13 by then. Teenage girls don’t  want their fathers around all the time, so I will have more time to run.  The only things that will stop me from running in 2020 is if I win in 2012 and in 2016 or if I die.  Being incarcerated  will not stop me from running as it didn’t stop Lyndon LaRouche or Keith Judd.

I will be attending a luncheon in New York City on Wednesday.  I forgot what it is about but I think it is a presidential campaign stop.  I hope it is because there are only 78 days until the General Election.

August 20, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Will They Ever Quit?

The Cinemafia knows I have been going after them and now they are retaliating.  They have infiltrated Saguache County, Colorado (The county which I received the most votes for President in 2008.)  There was monkey business with the election results there in the 2010 elections.

President Obama and the Democrats are doing everything to do to make sure they stay in power.  Saguache County is a heavy Democratic county.  It was one of the few heavily-Democratic counties that did not vote for President Obama in 2008.  (Most of those others went for John McCain, Saguache County went to me.)

I have proven previously that President Obama is Cinemafioso.   Although the County Clerk has been cleared of any wrongdoing, there is still that air of doubt.  All I have to do is prove the connection between the Obama administration and the Saguache County Board of Elections.

There is a debate I wasn’t invited to tonight on FoxNews.  I will be tweeting my replies to the questions and offer commentary on Twitter.  If you have any questions on my replies or commentaries or you want to be asked something not being discussed, then feel free to tweet your question with the #askahmnodt hashtag and I will answer it as soon as I can.

January 16, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, election, humor, Obama, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , | Comments Off on Will They Ever Quit?

Hate Mail

I received this message from an Obama supporter following my show last night:

              you suck

You’re nothing. You suck at life, and are not fit to run for president. If you somehow beat me, that will be the worst this to happen in America’s history. . Get used to a regular caller.. HA!

Let’s look at the poor grammar.  America has spent billions on education and people still write poor sentences.  The irony was that “barackobamafor2012” called my show last night.  The topic of my show was about education.  My conclusion is that “barackobamafor2012” does not want to be educated and will lash out at anybody who dares to educate him.

Expect the rhetoric from supporters of other candidates to get worse as we get closer to Election Day.  I will take the high road.  I am taking the high road because I am confident in my platform and that more people will support me every day.

Ignore the naysayers and the negativity.  The Ahmnodt Heare campaign will be victorious come November 2012.  We will have the last laugh.

July 24, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, scandal | , , | 6 Comments

An Open Plea to Former President George W. Bush

According to a recent blog entry of the Financial Times of London, former President George W. Bush said that if he was asked, he would have endorsed President Obama in the 2008 Presidential election if he was asked. He later added that he had to endorse John McCain, but he’d “probably not vote for the guy.”

This brings me to my plea.  Dear President George W. Bush.  I do not normally vote for Democrats or Republicans. But in 2000, I held my nose and voted for you.  Not only did I vote for you, but I encouraged my parents and my friends to vote for you.  I would have voted for you in 2004, but I took a special liking for Light Party candidate Da Vid.

I hope I am not too late, but I would be honored to have your endorsement in 2012.  This will show a few things:

  • That an American does not have to be a Republican or a Democrat to be presidential.
  • That you are willing to reach out to outside the Republican Base if it means making America a better country.
  • That you are tired of the antics of the Cinemafia and want a presidential candidate who is willing to address the high cost of entertainment.

President Bush, I am asking for your endorsement because it would mean so much.  Please tell Laura and your children I say Hi.  I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt F.N. Heare

Independent candidate for President

November 14, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, Democrats, election, endorsement, humor, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Transformation Team

A true leader prepares for the future.  I am not going to wait until I win the election in 2012 to set up a transformation team to have a smooth transfer of power from the Obama administration to the Heare administration.

The vetting process for non-Cabinet positions will begin on Monday.  My office and bedroom will be opened for the vetting process.  I will be announcing the results of the vetting process soon after it is completed.  There are plenty of positions available.  A complete list of agencies with positions can be found here:

There will also be positions for agencies I fell need to be created.  One position will be Curator for the Museum of Pornographic Arts.  The museum will open in Hamburg, New Jersey as soon as federal funding is received.  The curator must have knowledge of the history of pornography and be able to use various kinds of media from real-to-reel projectors to PowerPoint.  The curator must also be able to maintain the “Hands-On” section of the museum and clear a background check as it is anticipated that children will be visiting the museum on class trips.

To make an appointment for an interview, send your resume to ahmnodtheare@politician.com as well as the best time to call to arrange for an interview.

November 5, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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