Yeah, I’m Still Running

It might seem with my lack of posts lately that I have given up on running for President.  The fact is that I have been distracted by some very important matters (taking care of my parents, trying to generate more work for myself, Shark Week, etc.).  I have also done some campaigning, but they were small in nature and were more “preaching to the choir” to get the base energized than to speaking to new people.

I am putting my personal business aside between now and November 2016 so I can give it my all and get elected.  It’s hard to get excited about America’s future when people like Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are given serious consideration as candidates.

My platform remains the same, especially the part that states that I will not be accepting any money for my campaign.  The only way to take money out of politics is to never put money into politics.

Look for me this weekend at the Delaware State fair.  I will not have a booth at the fair, but I will be walking around the fairgrounds looking for people who want to strike up a conversation.

This is what I look like, except that my hair is much shorter, I have no facial hair, and I won’t be wearing sunglasses.

If you have any questions that you would like to ask me, feel free to ask in the comments section. I had requested e-mailing the questions in the past, but critics of the campaign claimed that I ignored the tough questions. I do not ignore tough questions. I put them aside to answer at a later time.

Advertisement

A New Era

After all of the delays, excuses, and other oddities, I am finally in my new home.  It’s basically the same layout as my old condo except it includes a loft (which will double as my 2016 campaign headquarters.)

I brought most of the mall stuff on Friday.  There is nothing like carrying your possessions up a walkway caked in ice.  The movers never showed (a common theme when I move).  I ended up finding some people in the neighborhood to help me with the furniture.  Fortunately, I do not have much furniture.  (Just a bed, dresser, armoire, recliner, six ottomans, TV stand, and entertainment unit.

Now that I have moved in and have just about finished unpacking, I can resume normal activities.  My 2016 campaign will kick off with a livestreaming video tomorrow at 8:30PM EST.  The show is skills needed to survive acts from the people you elect to office.

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

I Smell a Conspiracy

I was looking at all of the mishaps that happened to my 2008 campaign and dismissed them as a bad stretch of luck at a bad time.  I was on the verge of winning the election before my old computer crashed, my dog kept getting sick during the debates (smart dag), and having to move from North Carolina to New Jersey after a series of mishaps.

Now to 2012:  The computer I got to replace my old computer crashed.  The dog I had passed away, but the dog I have now has to do his business during debates.  As far as I know I am not moving, but I might have to spend some time away from home as repairs are done to the pipes underneath my cement floor.  I think the CineMafia is responsible for this now as well as in 2008.  Nobody has more to lose if I become President then they do.  Even Canada wouldn’t spend that much time and resources to make sure I don’t win.  (Although the NHL is currently in lockout mode,  unfortunately Gary Bettman is an American).

I have announced recently that I currently do not plan on running for President in 2016.  If there is an overwhelming call from the public then I will change my mind and run.  I will have to keep the following things in mind:

• If my dog passes between now and October 2016, then I will not get a new dog until after the 2016 election.
• Buy a new computer before October 2016 and keep it away until the computer I am getting later this week breaks down.
• Find a place to live that can survive the tough October weather in New Jersey.
• Find a campaign manager who isn’t an anarchist and is only managing the campaign “for kicks.”

On the “Good News – Bad News” Front – I did my first “Three cities in three states in three hours” campaign bit today,  I walked from Matamoras, PA to Port Jervis, NY, to Montague, NJ and campaigned in each of those cities.  The only problems were that it rained the entire time and that I had to walk back to Matamoras to pick up my car.

Important Announcement

I have some good news and some bad news.  First the bad news:  I do not plan on running for President in 2016.  My daughter is nine years old and I would like to spend more time with her (especially since she lives in Washington DC and I live in northern New Jersey.)  I am not ruling it out.  If there is enough people to draft me to run in 2016, I will do so.  I will also consider running if things get worse between now and then or if the Cinemafia grows out of control.

Now the good news:  I plan on running in 2020.  I will probably start the day after Election Day 2016.  My daughter will be 13 by then. Teenage girls don’t  want their fathers around all the time, so I will have more time to run.  The only things that will stop me from running in 2020 is if I win in 2012 and in 2016 or if I die.  Being incarcerated  will not stop me from running as it didn’t stop Lyndon LaRouche or Keith Judd.

I will be attending a luncheon in New York City on Wednesday.  I forgot what it is about but I think it is a presidential campaign stop.  I hope it is because there are only 78 days until the General Election.