Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Defending Mitt Romney

DISCLAIMER:  This shall in no way be looked at as an endorsement.  I am still running for President and for the time being will only endorse myself.  

Before I do the dubious deed of defending Mitt Romney, let me point that he still has a bunch of flaws.  He is the architect of ObamaCare and believes in mandating health insurance.  He has changed his position on a number of issues including abortion.  The oil required to keep his hair slick has risen oil prices $.15/barrel.

Mitt Romney is a very rich man.  There is nothing wrong with that.  He made $43 million in 2011 without having to work.  I wouldn’t be honest if I said I don’t envy the bejeebus of him.  People like to point out that he only paid 13.7% in income taxes.  They fail to mention that 13.7% translates to $6 million.  How many of you paid $6 million in taxes?  I didn’t.  I probably won’t pay that much over the course of my lifetime.

He also gave $7 million to various charities.  $4 million went to the Mormon Church.  $3 million went to other charities that help the poor.  Between taxes and charities, Romney never saw $13 million of what he made (or 30% of his pay.)  That is near the highest bracket.  Romney’s 30% comes after deductions.

Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT want Romney to be President.  But with so many other weaknesses to choose from, who much money he paid in taxes shouldn’t be one of the things to nail him on.  I hope to make enough money to pay $6 million in taxes and not sweat.

January 27, 2012 Posted by | commentary, economy, editorial, humor, issues, satire, taxes | , , , , , | 11 Comments

Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.  I will soon be taking my mother out for breakfast.  I used to take her out to lunch, but the Nationals are playing the Marlins today and my father and I will be going to the game.

My mother tried to keep me away from politics; and for the longest time, she was successful.  There were few politicians I like, and by the time I got to vote for them in the general election, those candidates were no longer on the ballot.  Alan Keyes is one such candidate.  He makes me think when he gives speeches and he has charisma.

There are times when I felt I should have listened to my mother, like in 2008.  I was disappointed that I did not receive any electoral votes.  It was further saddening that my own mother voted for somebody else.  (She voted for Barack Obama.)

My mother has since had a change of heart and has told me she will vote for me in 2012.  my mother and I don’t agree on everything politically.  She thinks my stance on abortion is too harsh.  My mother will also go to a movie once in a while, ofter dragging my father with her.

I am thankful that I have my mother’s support for the 2012 election.  Hopefully, she will continue her streak for voting for the winning candidate.  She said she will try to be on my radio show tonight and say “Hello” to the listeners.

I love you, Mom!

May 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Abortion

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on abortion.

Life begins at 40. This is the basis of my abortion platform.

Some people might claim that this position is extreme.  Some have gone as far as calling me a fool for having this opinion before my 40th birthday.  That is because you probably think of abortion as the taking of a life.  I see the threat of abortion as a valuable parenting tool.  This is an especially effective tool if you have already aborted your teenager and the other children are starting to act unruly.  Not having Britany around anymore sends a very strong message.  This will cause children and young adults to behave and will reduce crime.

May 19, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, issues, Platform | , , , , | 6 Comments

Cleric Urges Boycott of Ahmnodt Heare’s Website

Maimammah Atoldmi, cleric of a mosque in Casper, WY, spoke to a crowd yesterday denouncing Ahmnodt Heare and called for boycotting his blog.

“Ahmnodt Heare says one thing and does another.  He claims to want war against Canada, but said America would be better off if we dismissed Sharia Law and instead followed Shania Law.  Doesn’t this dumbskull know that Shania Twain is Canadian?

“Not only should we boycott his website, but we should all proclaim the potential evil an Ahmnodt Heare presidency can cause.  ‘Life begins at 40.’  What kind of abortion position is that?  His ‘video survellience on the hottest women’ position suggests he is a pervert with impure thoughts about women.

“I urge everybody in exposing Ahmnodt Heare for the fraud that he is!”

December 13, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, foreign policy, issues, Platform, politics, satire, War | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why Democrats Should Vote for Ahmnodt Heare

1)War – Barack Obama wants to send troops to Pakistan.  I want to send them to Canada to fight during the day and to come home at night.  It would be hard to send all of our troops home from Pakistan every night.

2)Economy – Barack Obama wants to tax the rich.  I want to tax everybody 100%.  While that doesn’t sound popular, my plan allows people to get a good portion back every week, as soon as the government’s bills are paid.  People will complain that they aren’t getting enough money back, so spending will be reigned in.

3)Jobs – Barack Obama wants to create green jobs.  I will create jobs that will not discriminate against color.

4)Global Warming – Obama wants to fight global warming year round.  I will only fight global warming when it is hot.  I would encourage global warming when it gets too cold. 

5)Abortion – Barack Obama believes that life begins at birth.  I believe that it begins at 40.  This gives a woman the leverage needed to make sure her children listen to her. 

June 24, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, Democrats, election, Obama, Platform, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why Democrats Should Vote for Ahmnodt Heare

I Should Have Ran as a Libertarian

I was reading some blogs last night about the Libertarian Convention, most notably “Last Free Voice.”  The blog was commenting on how unlibertarian some of the candidates are.  I might not agree with everything the Libertarian Party stands for, but I think they would like parts of my platform.

I am sure they would like my “Life begins at 40” position on abortion.  I also think that although it’s not totally libertarian, they would think of my “video surveillance on only the hottest women” position as a good start. 

I may not be the most libertarian candidate.  But I am pretty sure that I am more libertarian than Bob Barr, Wayne Alan Root, or Mike Gravel.  I am not too sure that Tucker Carlson is going to be elected, being that nobody knew he was considering running until yesterday.

 

May 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I Should Have Ran as a Libertarian

Common ground in Abortion

I can’t think of any. Either you support life or you support death. There is no pro-zombie groups in Washington lobbing Congress.

I am sorry for the delay… I had a few issues at home that required my immediate attention.

April 13, 2008 Posted by | campaign | , , , , , | Comments Off on Common ground in Abortion

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