The New Battle Part II

The other day I mentioned my dislike of stores having “Black Friday” sales early Thanksgiving evening.  Today, pop-up ads will get to feel my wrath.  They suck – here’s why:

I have a computer that is pretty old.  Though my internet speed is pretty fast, it takes a while for the processor in my computer to process all of the data that streams to the computer.  I like to log on the computer, read what I need to read in e-mail and news sites, and get off to do things I have to do.
Pop-up ads are speed bumps on the information superhighway.  (It’s been a while since anyone has used the term, “Information Superhighway”, hasn’t it?)  Things go smooth until the computer hangs waiting for an ad to pop up.  the most annoying part of these pop-up ads is that they are NEVER for anything I want or use.  I have yet to spend a dime from ads shoved in my face.  I am baffled that people buy products from ads that are annoying.

How many of you have you ever tried the product above?  I never had, largely because I could only stand,hearing  “HEAD-ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!” once or twice before the urge to throw the remote control through the television screen becomes strong enough to give the person applying the product a worse headache.

Advertising is a large part of life.  I have no problems with ads that are properly placed and aren’t annoying.  If I wanted to get irritated, I would have gotten married.  When I’m at home or at work, I want things to go as smoothly and as pleasantly as possible.  Prostitution is a multibillion dollar-per-year business without using ads because prostitutes know that they can’t sell their services if the johns get annoyed.
My solution is strong, but it will work with help from those of you who are annoyed as I am:

1. Boycott the products that are popping up,  That alone will not be enough as I don’t buy pop-ups, but it’s the foundation of steps needed to stop pop-ups.
2. Write to the webmaster stating your displeasure in popup ads.
3. (If the first two steps do not work) Boycott the static ads that aren’t popping up.  One might say that it’s unfair that legitimate ads be boycotted, but so is shoving ads in your face and hogging up resources on your computer.
4. Quit visiting that website.  If nobody goes to a website, nobody will buy ads because nobody will see ads.

I haven’t made many campaign promises, but I promise to be less annoying than either the Republican, Democratic, or Green Party candidates. (And equally as annoying as the Libertarian Party candidate.)  Together, we can quit getting annoyed.

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A Couple of New Ads

Here are a couple of ads I made recently.  Feel free to share with others!

AHMNODT THE FISCAL CONSERVATIVE

AHMNODT ON OBAMA’S MIND

A New TV Ad

The first TV ad for the 2012 Presidential campaign has finished production and will be airing soon.  Look for it late at night on select stations between infomercials.

Special Report – The High Cost of Entertainment

Many people watch the Super Bowl for the game.  For those who missed it, the New Orleans Saints beat the Indianapolis Colts 31-17.  Some people don’t watch it for the game, but for the commercials.  The price to buy a 30-second ad for this Super Bowl was $2,500,000.

The Cinemafia dropped $20,000,000 dollars on ads during the Super Bowl.  This amounts to 2,051,282 movie tickets that have to be sold just to break even with the ads.  This does not include millions blown on production or paying high school students minimum wage to run the concession stands and the ticket booth.

The boycott starts this Friday with “The Wolfman”.  Picket the movies listed on their release dates.  Tell movie goers to hold out on going to movies until the prices become affordable again.  Otherwise the Cinemafia will blow more money to lure us to spend more money to watch more bad films.  Universal Studios added insult to injury by spending $2.5 million for a theme park based on a movie that is no longer showing in “Harry Potter”

Below is some information about the movies to boycott:

Half of the movies have yet to be rated.  A few movies are full of actors I have never heard of.  One of the movies doesn’t come out until the Fourth of July weekend.  Better versions of “The Wolfman”, “Alice in Wonderland”, and “Robin Hood” have already came out years ago, so why would I want to spend $9.75 for a movie that I already know how it’s going to end?

Answering Questions About the Campaign

I occasionally get questions from people about my platform and my candidacy.  I would like to take this time to answer some of the questions.

You talk about your mother and sometimes your grandmother.  Why haven’t you mentioned your father?

My father doesn’t want the publicity.  He just wants to kick back and relax.  If I didn’t know my father, I would say he’s one of those quiet guys who goes berserk in malls.

Your biography says you were born in Washington, DC, but you had a blog entry that said you were born in Canada.  Which is the truth?

Both are true.  The actual birth happened in a car trying to go from Detroit to Buffalo.  I was brought to a hospital in Buffalo.  My first place of residence was in Washington, DC.

You talk about the Cinemafia and the Motion Picture Association of America.  I haven’t heard you mention anything about the atrocities with professional sports and rock concerts.

First, I would like to mention that the statement above was not a question.  I haven’t gone after professional sports and rock concerts yet because I don’t want to spread myself too thin.

Why haven’t you hired Gryphon as your speechwriter?

I haven’t hired Gryphon because I can’t pay him.  Unlike other candidates, I do not have a “donate” button on my website.  I am running a penniless campaign because I can’t be bought.  While my policy will make it almost impossible to buy television ad time, I won’t have to worry about allegations that the Cinemafia is paying me to lower the price of going to a movie.