Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The New Battle Part II

The other day I mentioned my dislike of stores having “Black Friday” sales early Thanksgiving evening.  Today, pop-up ads will get to feel my wrath.  They suck – here’s why:

I have a computer that is pretty old.  Though my internet speed is pretty fast, it takes a while for the processor in my computer to process all of the data that streams to the computer.  I like to log on the computer, read what I need to read in e-mail and news sites, and get off to do things I have to do.
Pop-up ads are speed bumps on the information superhighway.  (It’s been a while since anyone has used the term, “Information Superhighway”, hasn’t it?)  Things go smooth until the computer hangs waiting for an ad to pop up.  the most annoying part of these pop-up ads is that they are NEVER for anything I want or use.  I have yet to spend a dime from ads shoved in my face.  I am baffled that people buy products from ads that are annoying.

How many of you have you ever tried the product above?  I never had, largely because I could only stand,hearing  “HEAD-ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!” once or twice before the urge to throw the remote control through the television screen becomes strong enough to give the person applying the product a worse headache.

Advertising is a large part of life.  I have no problems with ads that are properly placed and aren’t annoying.  If I wanted to get irritated, I would have gotten married.  When I’m at home or at work, I want things to go as smoothly and as pleasantly as possible.  Prostitution is a multibillion dollar-per-year business without using ads because prostitutes know that they can’t sell their services if the johns get annoyed.
My solution is strong, but it will work with help from those of you who are annoyed as I am:

  1. Boycott the products that are popping up,  That alone will not be enough as I don’t buy pop-ups, but it’s the foundation of steps needed to stop pop-ups.
  2. Write to the webmaster stating your displeasure in popup ads.
  3. (If the first two steps do not work) Boycott the static ads that aren’t popping up.  One might say that it’s unfair that legitimate ads be boycotted, but so is shoving ads in your face and hogging up resources on your computer.
  4. Quit visiting that website.  If nobody goes to a website, nobody will buy ads because nobody will see ads.

I haven’t made many campaign promises, but I promise to be less annoying than either the Republican, Democratic, or Green Party candidates. (And equally as annoying as the Libertarian Party candidate.)  Together, we can quit getting annoyed.

October 24, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The New Battle Part II

Internal Squabbling

I held a meeting this morning with my campaign team.  It was supposed to be brief, but there seems to be friction in what direction the campaign should go.  I finally got to meet my running mate met Albee Thayer today.  Although he is an ass, he would still be a better vice-president than either Joe Biden or Paul Ryan.

The first thing the team squabbled about was how to get additional exposure.  I had suggested that Albee Thayer get his own BlogTalk Radio show, WordPress Blog, and UStream channel.  He preferred to maintain his course of writing letters to newspaper editors why Americans should vote for the Heare/Thayer ticket though none of his letters have yet to be published.

There are some on the team that suggest I start throwing money into the campaign.  I had thought about buying some ads, but Albee reminded me that most of my supporters are voting for me because I have refused to throw money into the campaign.  He said he has spent no money on my campaign but did help get some ads for Noes Toiaqui’s campaign when she ran for President of Mexico.  (The one drawback with those ads was they were in English.)

The last issue was where to hold the Election Night party.  I will be at the Legends Resort partaking in the semi-annual ” Orgies for Abstinence” awareness program.  There are only 50 days until Election Day, meaning it’s only 51 days until the 2016 Election cycle begins.

September 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Internal Squabbling

Tweet Number 6000 #ForSale

Click to read my latest tweets and follow me on Twitter!

Tweets, Following, and Followers accurate as of 8/30/2012 at 7:25PM EDT. Your mileage may vary.

Here is your chance to get some publicity for your business. Here is how this will work:

  1. Submit your bid to ahmnodtheare@politician.com as soon as possible.  Bid should include amount as a phone number to call should you are the winner.  Billing will be discussed by phone.
  2. Contest will end when I reach my 5,990 tweet.
  3.  If you win, you will be allowed to submit a tweet up to 134 characters.  Six spaces will be reserved for ” #6000″ so others will know it is my 6000th tweet.
  4. My 5999th tweet will announce the winning bid as well as the day and time the winner wishes the tweet to be released.
  5. I will use your company’s logo as my profile background from when I tweet my 5999th tweet until seven days after I release my 6000th tweet.
  6. Void where prohibited.  (I don’t know where it’s prohibited, but I threw in the disclaimer to make this look legitimate.)

All bids will be kept secret.  A complete list of bids will be available to anyone who wishes to see it when the winner is announced.  Good luck to one and all!

August 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Social Networking | , , , , | 2 Comments

Take Your Shoes Off and Stay Awhile

You are probably wondering what the meaning of this post means.  If you are not familiar with me, I am a freelance marketing consultant.  I also dab in advertising campaigns for some of my clients.

Many of my clients are referred to me by other clients.  However, sometimes I have to recruit customers myself.  This blog entry is an open letter to the TSA (Transportation Security Administration).  I have to show that I can work with government agencies if I am going to be considered to be a viable Presidential candidate.

“Take off your shoes and stay awhile” is my way to project the TSA as a kinder, gentler bureaucracy government agency.  When people are told to take off their shoes at airport security, there tends to be mumbling and grumbling by passengers.  My marketing campaign will promote a sense of comfort for the passengers while maintaining a high sense of safety and security.

When a TSA agent tells you to take your shoes and stay a while, it’s not just for security.  It’s to make you feel at home as you are violated go through screening.  They will shoot the breeze with you while your carry-ons are scanned and you go through the security gate.  There will be more intimate conversations for cavity searches so you won’t feel inconvenienced in any way.

If you’re with the TSA and you want to improve your agency’s image, please feel free to give me a call.

December 30, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Who Shrunk the Day?

The day was 24 hours long when I was growing up.  Seven hours was dedicated to sleep.  Eight hours was dedicated to work.  That left nine hours to do things that you want and need to do.

It is amazing how much work one can do with a computer.  I didn’t appreciate the importance of this until the power cord to my computer was taken away.  The computer can do everything.  It does my business functions (accounts, billing, money transfers) as well as my entertainment functions (radio, videos, games, porn, etc.)

I had to order a new power cord, but I couldn’t order one until earlier today.  I have to make a presentation tomorrow in Buffalo the Darrin Stevens way.  For those not familiar with Darrin Stevens, he is a fictional character in the 1960’s sitcom, “Bewitched.”  He was played by Dick York and Dick Sargent, but Darrin wasn’t a Dick.

Darrin Stevens worked for an ad agency.  He would do things by hand and put them on a poster board.  The ad program would be on a series of poster boards, with each poster board contributing to the theme of the ad campaign.

This is the approach I have to take for my next client because I do not have a new power cord yet.  Marketing and advertising are similar, but marketing incorporates everything into a theme.  There is the theme, the strategy (advertising, displays, brochures, internet, etc.), the costs, and other little things.

Things should be back to the ways things were before I went to the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates meeting last month by Wednesday.  I will continue to post both my regular blog entries as well as the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates entries I had to write by hand.

I will have time because I will have a computer and will no longer have to look for poster paper, put the things on the poster paper, try to erase mistakes, go back and buy more poster paper, carefully make a revised version of the poster paper I goofed on, organize the poster papers, and go to an office supply store because I do not have a safe way to carry and store the poster papers with the marketing campaign.

December 7, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Who Shrunk the Day?

Another Reason Why Movies Are Expensive

There were 5 commercials for movies during the Super Bowl.  This amounts to $15 million in advertising for 2 1/2 minutes of ads.  Most of these movies won’t be in theaters for a few months.  I will forget about these movies by the time they are released unless they have more ads, which will cost more money.  If they waited until just before the release date, they could have saved $3 million per movie.

Maybe it’s not so much the Cinemafia is evil as it is stupid.  They pay Tom Cruise $31 million for every movie he appears in.  I would do 20 movies for $31 million.  The problem with the economy (aside from the Cinemafia) is that the only spending cuts companies are making are in payroll.  They are either cutting hours, pay rates, or jobs.  They still buy company t-shirts, coffee mugs and other crap that most employees don’t really care for.  They know that knick-knacks cost less than money.  As president, I would put a ban on company knick-knacks and force them to either pay more or hire more.

February 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, economy, editorial, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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