Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Advice for Mitt Romney

It’s odd that I, a candidate for President of the United States, would give an opponent advice.  But after Mitt Romney bungled his foreign campaign trip, I can offer him some friendly advice.  There are only 98 days until Election Day and I doubt he will be doing any more campaigning overseas.  Below is some tidbits he can use abroad:

  • Answer the media’s questions. – If you don’t talk to the media, the media will attack.  They will say that you are “out of touch” or that other candidates give out better donuts at press conferences.
  • Find out the cultures of the countries you will visit and don’t step on their toes. –  People will frown on incidents like eating bacon at the Wailing Wall or saying “Erin go Bragh” at a bar in London.
  • Mingle with the people. – You represent America more than most Americans because you are applying for leadership.  America has a bad image overseas except for cities after I have campaigned there.  The more likable America is, the less likely we will be attacked in the future.
  • Refrain from bragging about America’s greatness.  America is a great country, but the first thing people will do after hearing that is ask, “If it’s a great country, why in the hell are you campaigning in my country?”.

Follow this advice in the future and you will have a more successful trip overseas.  The  people there will tweet the people here to vote for you.  (Unless they don’t have a Twitter account.)

July 31, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, media, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Advice for Mitt Romney

People in my Life

Few things say more about a character of a man than the company he keeps.  The company I keep are some characters.  They are one’s steering committee in the platform called “life.”  Below are a few people who have been influential in my life:

  • My parents – My father is a staunch Republican and my mother is a stubborn Democrat.  They have both been equally influential in making me an independent.
  • My daughter Patricia – the inspiration in my running for President.  I don’t want her to have to think about being a celebrity sex-toy for a pedophile  Hollywood executive.
  • Grandma Oudda – The only person I know who can add shallots to a dessert and still make it tasty.  She also believe I could fly when nobody else did.  (I found out later that I could not fly, but it’s still nice to have someone believe in my abilities.)
  • Dave the homeless guy – Gave me valuable advice after college.  I keep his words like, “The people you’re trying to impress aren’t worth impressing” and “Don’t eat the yellow snow” in my heart.
  • Holli Foxxx – A stripper at the nudie bar I go to –  She has taught me discipline.  She has taught me that no matter how long I see her naked, I will never parlay that into a sexual tryst.

There have been others who have been an influence in my life. (And not all of them were good influences.)  I doubt that either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney have had the potpourri of people who have been an influence to them that I have had for me.

June 20, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Christmas Musical and Radio Show

My daughter Patricia is performing tonight in her Second Grade class tonight.  Patricia doesn’t know I will be there..  Her mother doesn’t want me there.  But it’s not too often that a father sees her child perform in a school musical recital.  Her school is pretty big and I have a disguise so I am confident I will not be spotted by her mother.  Below is a picture of the disguise:

This should relieve any suspicion that Patricia's mother might have over my being at the concert.

I also got a gold band on my left hand to let others think I am married.  I will be able to enjoy the concert without being bugged by Patricia’s mother because this disguise is foolproof.

Her class is scheduled to take stage at 7:30 and be on stage until 7:55.  This will give me plenty of time to drive to Baltimore and find a place with Wi-fi so I can host my show tonight.  Below is a description of tonight’s show:

A Presidential candidate is only as good as the advice he or she gives. Independent candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare will give advice on live, life, finances, as well on subjects he knows. Call 347-945-7487 during the show and ask Ahmnodt any question you may have.

I will be giving advice on love, finances, cooking, fashion, and anything else you need advice on in your life.

 

December 7, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , | 5 Comments

Ask Ahmnodt (Second Try) – Sunday 10 PM Eastern

Ahmnodt 4 Prez 2012 Radio Show

Due to my dog’s illness, I had to cut the show a few minutes after starting. If you haven’t submitted a question you want to ask me, you can send it to ahmnodtheare@politician.com . The question can be on any topic, from politics to advice you want. Some questions submitted are mature in nature. Listener discretion is advised.

Call-in Number: (347) 945-7487


December 4, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, issues, politics, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Comments Off on Ask Ahmnodt (Second Try) – Sunday 10 PM Eastern

“Ask Ahmnodt” Radio Special Tonight

SPECIAL EVENT http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ahmnodt-Heare/2008/12/01/Ask-Ahmnodt-

Ahmnodt Heare will be taking questions from callers as well as answering e-mails and questions and comments from this post.  The show will be on tonight at 10:00PM Eastern / 9 Central / 8 Mountain / 7 Pacific / etc.

Questions can be anything from his platform and his take on the issues to advice you are seeking on love, life, or anything else.  Call-in number during the show only will be (347) 945-7487.

The chat room will be opened 15 minutes prior to the show.

E-mail: ahmnodtheare@politician.com

November 30, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, commentary, issues, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on “Ask Ahmnodt” Radio Special Tonight

Ask Ahmnodt and Ye Shall Receive

SPECIAL EVENT http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ahmnodt-Heare/2008/12/01/Ask-Ahmnodt-

Ahmnodt Heare will be taking questions from callers as well as answering e-mails and questions and comments from this post.  The show will be on Sunday, November 30 at 10:00PM Eastern / 9 Central / 8 Mountain / 7 Pacific / etc.

Questions can be anything from his platform and his take on the issues to advice you are seeking on love, life, or anything else.  Call-in number during the show only will be (347) 945-7487.

E-mail: ahmnodtheare@politician.com

November 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, issues, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to Bring Traffic to Your Blog

The best thing you can do to bring people to your blog is to write every day.  If you don’t write something, people won’t come to see what you haven’t written.

If you write about something that isn’t very popular, then write an entry about something popular and how it relates to the boring crap you usually write about.

Read other people’s blogs and read a comment.  Don’t type, “I have naked pictures of Nancy Pelosi” and link it to your site because people do not like spam.  Pick something out of the article and give your opinion.  Many blog reply areas have a section where you type in your name and website.  If you leave a thoughtful response, people will click your name and go to your site.

Use keywords – but make sure the keywords are relevant to your entry.  If you use “sex” as a keyword, make sure your blog is about sex and not about a librarian in Mansfield, Ohio.  You can use up to seven keywords per entry.  If you use more, then your keywords will have about as much value as a fiat dollar.

Exchange links – If you and another blogger like each other’s blogs, then post his or her link on your website and have him or her do the same.  Playboy’s blog does not exchange links.  (Not that I have ever been to their blog.)

Trackbacks – Limit using these to those relevant to both your blog and the blog you are referring to.  http://www.bivingsreport.com/2006/how-to-build-a-better-political-campaign-website/

Find marketing blog services – Some will do it for free.  Just make sure you follow the instructions.  If you have problems, then ask your child to do it.  They know more about computers than you do.

I hope you find the advice useful.  And don’t forget to vote for me for President on November 6, 2012.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Write-In Candidate for President

November 17, 2008 Posted by | campaign, commentary, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 35 Comments

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