Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Decisions 2014

I made some very important decisions today.  Some decisions will have more impact on my future than others,  Voting was mandatory because I am an inspiring presidential candidate.  I wrote in Seaford, DE native Delino DeShields for every office and ballot initiative.  Below are other important decisions I made today:

  • Shopping for a can opener – I spent more than I usually did for an opener, but I made up for it by buying a quality can opener that I won’t have to replace next week.
  • I postponed cleaning my yard until tomorrow – Just like I postponed yard cleaning yesterday until today.
  • I cooked corn as a side dish with chicken tonight instead of peas.  I also voted for stuffing over egg noodles.

My voting decisions were not limited to personal decisions.  A very important campaign decision was also made today.  Tomorrow morning I will leave Seaford and head to Dixville Notch, New Hampshire.  I hope to arrive in Dixville Notch by Sunday.  It is important to go there first because people vote there first and a victory there will be the boost my campaign will need.

This has been a long day and tomorrow promises to also contain 24 hours.  Enjoy your evening!

November 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Decisions 2014

Obama the Genius

I never thought I would say this, but Barack Obama is a genius.  People (including I) have been criticizing his foreign and health care policies.  But from what I had to figure out, he has tied the two together to keep Americans safe.  Here’s how:

ISIS – Rumor has it that there are ISIS troops in Mexico and are soon to invade the United States.  Even President Obama knows that drone strikes can’t be done in the United States like they have been done in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And sending the troops needed to protect the border isn’t as feasible as one would think as there isn’t enough housing for all of the troops.  So how does he stop ISIS from becoming a terror nightmare?

He stops ISIS be sending Ebola patients to the border.  That’s why there are Ebola patients in Texas.  The females will be disguised as ISIS sympathizers and slip the fighters tongue and other ways to send their bodily fluids into the bodies of ISIS.  They get sick and they die.

Well played, Obama.  Well played.

October 16, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, Obama | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Obama the Genius

A Painful Reminder

There are people who want to be like me.  While I am deeply honored, being like me is not for anybody.  Not because I do bad things, but the stress of doing things as well as I do can be stressful.  Some people have died trying to be like me, and that thought gnaws on me.

I was reminded of this tragic fact while checking the spam filter from this blog.  It was an advertisement for erectile dysfunction drugs.  Every time I see an ad for erectile dysfunction drugs, I think of the poor men who died from heart attacks because they wanted to be like me.

Don’t let electile dysfunction let you down.  Pleasing women is hard for men with erectile dysfunction, but they can lick it.

January 25, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, health care, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vote Early and Often

Many states have allowed early voting.  Many Americans will vote by November 4.  If your state allows early voting, go to your voting station tomorrow morning and write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for President.  In case you need to remember how to spell my name, remember these anagrams for my first and last name.

Ahmnodt – A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters

Heare – Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic

Remember that spelling counts.  May the best candidate I win.

October 20, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, election, satire, write-in | , , , , | 4 Comments

Debate to be Blogged in Real Time

I will blog my responses to the questions at tonight’s debate.  You will be able to see why I am the best candidate for President.

October 15, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debate, economy, election, health care, issues, Obama | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A New Direction

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ahmnodt-Heare/2008/10/12/A-New-Direction

The link above is a recording of the radio show I hosted last night.  I talked about my responses to the Belmont Debate questions, the Wall Street debacle, and hockey moms being booed in Philadelphia.

October 12, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, blogtalk radio, campaign, change, debate, election, issues, media, Platform, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , | Comments Off on A New Direction

Wow!

http://www.click2houston.com/investigates/17671375/detail.html

Over 6,000 dead people have registered to vote in Houston this year. As more people register post-mortem, the Ahmnodt Heare campaign picks up steam.

If the media ever got around to ask the deceased, they would overwhemingly say Ahmondt Heare because I have been the only candidate campaigning in cemetaries.

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues, media, Platform, Poll, satire, write-in | , , , , , | Comments Off on Wow!

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