Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Why Ahmnodt? Why?

I heard through some sources that Fairbanks, Alaska was ripe and ready for me to campaign.  I decided to fly to Fairbanks on a whim and arrived here last night.  I have discovered what COLD really is.  It was -34F when I arrived at the airport last night.  Fortunately, it has dropped to -36F.  It is foggy out and there are ice particles in the fog.  It’s so cold here that the sun won’t rise until almost 11:00AM here.  (That’s 3PM Eastern).  The sun will set at 2:00 local time.

This would seem to be the ideal place to give my speech on how I would encourage global warming in the winter.  It’s cold here and presidential candidates rarely come to Alaska in the summer let alone winter unless they are from Alaska (like Sarah Palin),  It turns out they don’t like politicians here.  I tried telling them that I am a business who has never held office and the only reason why I am running for president is to help businesspeople like me have affordable entertainment.  They didn’t want to hear it.

I will be spending the weekend in Fairbanks.  If I am going to campaign, I will have to wonder about (With -35F temperatures, that won’t be easy.)  I didn’t bring work with me and I am finding out everything here is expensive.  I could have gotten stuff done if I stayed at home, but I will be pretty much confined to a hotel room all weekend.

Maybe the people will warm up.  I hope so because the weather won’t.


December 17, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, issues, politics, satire | , , , , | 3 Comments

Hope for the Campaign

Lisa Murkowski’s victory in Alaska’s U.S. Senate race over Joe Miller brings a shiny ray of hope to my chances of winning in 2012.  Not because she has embraced any portion of my platform or because I embraced any portion of her platform.  It’s not because she has any intention of endorsing me in 2012.

The reason why there is hope for the campaign is because Lisa Murkowski won as a write-in candidate.  Her name was not on the ballot for U.S. Senate, yet she was able to get more people to write in her name than to pick another name.  She had a campaign for people to learn how to spell her name.  She opted for the rebus.  Below is an example on how people got to learn how to spell her name.


"Mur" + Cow with a "K" + Ski spells "Murkowski"

My plan is different (mainly because it’s hard to do “Ahmnodt” in rebus.  I have opted to go with the acronym.  “Ahmnodt” as an acronym goes like “A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.”  “Heare” turns out to be “Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic.”  The best part is you can wear the anagrams on the back of t-shirts so the people behind you can see who you are voting for without wearing “Vote for Ahmnodt Heare”, which you can’t wear at an election.

There is more for me to write, but right now I really need to get some of Dolly’s taters.

November 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, Platform, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Deciphering The Election Results

There are two races that have yet to be called that will tell my chances of winning as a write-in candidate in 2012.  One race is the Colorado Governor race.  It’s not so much who will win (Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper will be the next governor) as it will be if the Republican Party will be on one of the top two lines on ballots in 2012.  Former Congressman Tom Tancredo ran as a American Constitution candidate.  He shared conservative votes with Republican candidate Dan Maes, who finished a distant third.

The Colorado Senate race is still too close to call.  The Republican Ken Buck needs to win since the Republican in the governor’e race finished a distant third.  He is currently a couple thousand voted behind Democratic Senator Michael Bennet.

The race I am really keeping an eye on is Alaska.  The good news is that “write-ins” have a lead.  The presumption is that those write-ins are for Lisa Murkowski.  But since Alaska has yet to release the names of the write-in notes, it is conceivable that Alaskans wrote my name in.  They tend to do things differently up there.

NBC news is reporting that 85% of tea party candidates won their elections.  I will try to attend tea parties, but I was met with indifference with the tea party my daughter had the last time she came to visit.  I was not able to convince her stuffed bear or her dolls to vote for me.  While Patrica is enthusiastically supportive of my campaign, she will only be 9 years old in 2012.

The Republicans will control the House and the Democrats will control the Senate.  This bodes well for independents like myself.  There will be two more years of gridlock as well as six more weeks of winter.  Independents will be the key to getting the country back in the right direction.  While independents are a plurality of voters, they are most likely to cross party lines and vote for someone who is not an independent.  If independents don’t stick to their base and vote for fellow independents, gridlock can last a lot longer (or worse, we could have Republicans or Democrats running the country.)

The best news is that now that Election Day is over, there won’t be political ads for a couple months.  Sit back and enjoy.

November 3, 2010 Posted by | commentary, Democrats, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Assessment and Execution

Below are the goals I had set in January for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

So far I am not near accomplishing any of these goals.  I couldn’t accomplish goal #7 even after hosting an “Orgies for Abstinence” event a few weeks ago.  This is not to say that the campaign is not growing; it’s not growing as fast as I like.  I take full responsibility for the parts that are my fault.  Like not following my 2009 map strategy.

I have already made some plans.  I will head up to Wyoming, Montana, and the Dakotas for a week following BlancaFest.  I drive through Delaware several times a year traveling between here and Washington, DC.  I can stop in Vermont and Rhode Island the next time I go up to Boston.  I already have campaigned in Washington DC and will do so in the future.  I fee confident I can win there as Washingtonians will want to elect one of them (I was born and raised in Washington DC).

This leaves me to Alaska.  It’s not on the way to anything and population centers are hundreds of miles apart.  And now that Sarah Palin is doing her thingie in the lower 48, it is harder to find an excuse to go to Alaska (besides going to Wasilla to see Russia.)

I have a lot to do between now and the Presidential election.  There are only 923 days left until the Election to get everything done and get the exposure my campaign needs.

April 28, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire, Washington | , , , , , , | 10 Comments

An Endorsement from Wasilla, AK

It wasn’t from Sarah Palin, but the endorsement was announced in her yard.


NOTE: Special thanks go to the people reading this from the Mudflats blog.

November 14, 2008 Posted by | campaign, election, endorsement, satire, write-in | , , , | 3 Comments


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