Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Weird Dream

I had a dream that I won the election and became President.  That’s not the weird part.  I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.)  That’s not the weird part either.  The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage.  I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters.  The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage.  Below are some of the few reactions:

  • CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
  • MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket.  “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare?  How in the **** did he win?  Seriously, who is he?”
  • Fox News chose not to mention my name.  They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
  • Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
  • CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me.  They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
  • NBC News managed to find out something about me.  Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience.  Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
  • ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.

My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me.  TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.

Twitter was abuzz with the election.  The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.”  Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”

The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it.  The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won.  I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.

February 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Revised Picks for Cabinet

NOTE: Some are left blank.   Some revisions have been made since my original picks.  Be sure to check this page often as I fill my cabinet.

President: Ahmnodt Heare

Vice-President: Pamela Villars

Secretary of State: David _______

Chief of Staff: Claire Collins

Press Secretary: “Gryphon” Aerie

Secretary of Commerce: Oprah Winfrey

Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart

Secretary of Energy: Matthew Lesko

Secretary of Defense: Mike Singletary

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Secretary of Education: George W. Bush

Secretary of the Treasury: Dennis Kozlowski

I would also make picks in the following:

Federal Reserve Chair: Bernie Madoff

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations : Alex Jones

U.S. Ambassador to France: Mike Lansing

NBA Commissioner: Isiah Thomas

Note:  Offices and Prospects in italics were added on February 4, 2010.

September 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

   

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