Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Another Politician Follows My Lead

I made a stop on Chew Street in Allentown, PA to meet an old college buddy between campaign stops.  There is a cemetery across the street from his apartment.  A middle-aged man was talking to a tombstone.  He walked to the next tombstone and talked to that one.  My curiosity was getting to me.

“I am asking for your vote.” he said to the tombstone .   He was campaigning in the cemetery, something I started doing this two years ago as a way to siphon votes from Democrats.  He had a good message, but he was going about it all wrong.  Below is the advice I gave him (which you should use when campaigning for me in cemeteries)

  • Talk to the burial spot – not to the tombstone.  Many newbies make this mistake and it’s often costly.  The deceased will think you are talking to somebody else or they will think you are crazy for talking to a piece of granite.
  • Get low – They are under ground and have a hard time hearing you with all of that dirt on top of them.  They also can’t get their head up any higher.
  • Listen to them – This can’t be emphasized enough.  Many loved ones make the mistake of talking but not listening.  Don’t be a loved one – listen!

The fellow, who is running for Allentown City Council as an independent, was a quick learner.  From what I was able to hear from the deceased, they were happy with him and many have intended to vote for him.


October 23, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

Greetings From the Keystone State!

I am spending the next two nights in Allentown.  I chose Allentown because of the proximity to Philadelphia and Scranton.  The one drawback is that it is dangerously close to New Jersey.  I will be hopping from town to town between now and Tuesday.  When you hear people shouting “Ahmnodt Heare”, you’ll know I am nearby.

April 20, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Greetings From the Keystone State!

On to Pennsylvania!

With six weeks to go until the Pennsylvania Primaries, the campaign will be spending a lot of time in the Keystone State.  The campaign headquarters will be set in Allentown because it is centrally located to most of the cities in eastern Pennsylvania.  There will be a meetup at Philly Subs on Hamilton St. on Friday at 2PM.

The rally scheduled at Nay Aug Park in Scranton this Saturday has been postponed until April 12.  We will not rally in Intercourse as originally planned.  There will be a gathering in Philadelphia on Sunday at the Lincoln Financial Park parking lot.

March 11, 2008 Posted by | campaign, speech | , , , , , | Comments Off on On to Pennsylvania!


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