Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Cut it Out Stephen Harper!

I have to clarify something before I go on my rant.  Not all Canadian entertainers are spies.  They are not all performers.  Rush is an excellent fan.  Dave Foley is a very funny comedian.  Pamela Anderson is sexy (and not just because her boobies are made in the USA).

A new Canadian spy has infiltrated the Great American Entertainment Industry.  The damage this spy has done is worse than the actions of Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, William Shatner, and Anne Murray combined.  Unlike these spies, the newest spy has not only ambushed the American Entertainment, she has also infiltrated the American military.  Below is the proof:

The military has a very important job in Afghanistan protecting the oil wells from Afghanis.  Without this service, gas would be over $3.00 per gallon.  Carly Rae Jepsen isn’t just ruining American Entertainment, she is also compromising military operations.  I call on Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to take Jespen (and all of his other spies) back to Canada before we send the Kardashians and The Situation to Saskatchewan to “entertain” Canadians.

 

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August 27, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Canada’s New Plan of Attack

For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export.  Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber.  The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic.  It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.

First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada.  Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State.  Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA.  Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.

There are two ways to handle this:  Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada.  This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income.  The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States.  That’s why I just came up with a third idea.  He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government.  This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.

I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting.  84 shopping days until Election Day.

August 14, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, economy, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Softer Side

Some people have criticized me for being too harsh at times.  I could be, and I apologize if I seem harsh.  I decide that today is a good day to show my softer side.

Today is Canada Day.  It’s the day Canadians celebrate their independence by putting the Queen of England on their currency and declaring her a Canadian citizen.  I have been hard on Canadians.  I have nothing against the fine people of Canada.  It’s the Canadian government and their insistence on dumping spies like William Shatner and Justin Bieber on the great American entertainment industry.

Happy Canada Day to all of my Canadian supporters!  You will be happy to know that I am continuing to work to make sure Canadians can vote for me to be the leader of the Free World in next year’s elections.  Below are some greeting cards showing my support for Canadians:

No need to worry about an American exodus if I win the election!

The Capitals will win it next year. We won't riot if we won't because Washington is a classy city.

This won't be an issue once my health care plan is implemented.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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A message for the Canadian government - I'm watching you!

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This is all I ask. (And William Shatner... And Celine Dion...)

July 1, 2011 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, health care, humor, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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