Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Things I Learned in Europe

Now that I am back from Europe and I have had some sleep under my belt, I will access the good and the bad from my recent campaign through Europe:

  • Stay focused on one thing – I was doing well when I did what the entire trip was supposed to be about.  It was supposed to be about getting signatures on a petition to allow non-Americans to vote for the leader of the free world.  (Especially for those living in the free world who are not allowed to vote for leader of the free world.)
  • If you are going to carry a sign in a language you don’t understand, then learn what the sign says before you hold it up for the world to see.  “Nur eine dumme Person Kampagne in Liechtenstein, um Präsident der Vereinigten Staaten.”  does not translate to “It takes a special person to campaign in Liechtenstein for President of the United States.”
  • Find out the cost of the subjects you wish to research before heading out to the locale to do the research.  If I had stuck with my original plan, I wouldn’t have to have bothered spending time researching prostitution on the nights I was lonely.
  • Know the issues that affect the people in the land you are campaigning in.  Although I succeeded with this in Liechtenstein with the Affordable Entertainment Awareness walk-a-thon, I missed the boat with questions about Northern Ireland while I was in Dublin.
  • Don’t let everybody know you’re an American.  This was hard for me, considering I went there to campaign for President of the United States.  This advice is for the Americans who plan on going to Europe who are not running for President.  Barack Obama’s visit to Germany last summer is the execption to the rule.
  • Don’t ask strangers where the nearest “Waffle House” is.  I thought I would have learned this from my trips to New York City.
  • And finally, don’t go to a sports bar in Europe and say that soccer is boring and that you want to watch the NCAA Tournament.  Soccer (or as they erroneously call it, “football”, is their sport of choice.)

Like President Obama did on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno”, I have made gaffes along the way.  When you campaign for a long time, you will occasionally make mistakes.  The secret is to learn from those mistakes.

March 22, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, foreign policy, issues, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sometimes You Need to Rant


This is an anti-American rant from somebody in England.  He or she doesn’t like that the president pardons a turkey every Thanksgiving.

Let me tell you about British elitism.  but before I do, I will tell you this little tidbit.  There are only two societies in the world where incest occurs at an alarming rate.  In America, we call them “hicks”, in Great Britian, they’re called, “royalty.”

It seems that things are going so slow in the British news cycle that people there are watching our president pardon a turkey.  They claim they don’t like Americans, but they can’t get enough of America in their newscasts.  It’s not that we in the States are too stupid to know that Gordon Brown is their prime minister.  It’s that we don’t care.

I am deeply disturbed at the American media’s obsession over royal inbreds and I wish it would stop.  What the “Royal Family” does has little to do with international affairs and much to do with pomp and fluff.

Note to rants like the one who posted the article I am referring to:  We know that some aspects of American culture leaves much to be desired.  However; your poop also reeks.

November 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, foreign policy, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Wanted: Running Mate

I have just found out that the person I had selected to be my running mate is not eligible to run for vice-president according to the Constitution. My original running mate, E.D. Yot is 1) a Canadian and 2) Under 35 years of age.

If you are an American at least 35 years of age and no criminal record and you would like to be my running mate, then please write in 200 words or less why you would like to be my vice-president in the Comments section below.

I will choose the best entries next Sunday. Those chosen will be invited to my radio show and state their cases to the public.

April 6, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, scandal, Uncategorized | , , , , | Comments Off on Wanted: Running Mate


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