Catching Up in Politics

I’m back before I miss too much going on and have to spend an entire weekend blogging.  President Obama is in a heap of trouble.  I will make my endorsement for New York City mayor tonight.

Between “Benghazigate”, The IRS fiasco, an the AP wiretapping mess, you’re probably regretting not voting for me for President last November.  I forgive you.  Just remember this entry in 2016 before you vote for one of the poor choices the Republicans and Democrats will be nominating.  Below is how I would have prevented Obama’s scandals from becoming scandals in an Ahmnodt Heare administration:

Benghazigate: – I wouldn’t have allowed a consulate office to be opened in Benghazi.  This is because like so many other Americans, I never heard of Benghazi before the diplomats were killed.  I would have kept them in Tripoli as long as it was safe.  If it got too risky to stay, I would have gotten the navy to pick them up and ship them across the Mediterranean Sea to Italy.

The IRS: – The IRS has supposedly been targeting certain non-profit organizations that were against the Obama Administration.  To the best of my knowledge, TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now) was not targeted because they were considered to be more pro-Ahmnodt Heare and less anti-Barack Obama.  This probably includes businesses that did not make profits because of the Obama administration’s poor fiscal policies.  My policies would make businesses prosper and leave non-profits alone as they don’t make enough money to interest me.

AP Wiretapping: – I don’t know why anybody would wiretap the Associated Press.  The news has sucked for years now.  I don’t know of any stories that were negative against the White House until lately.  I wouldn’t wiretap anybody because I wouldn’t want to get caught.

I have spent some time thinking about who I should endorse for Mayor.  The problem is that I have two friends of my campaign running for mayor.  Jimmy McMillan is one candidate.  Though he hasn’t endorsed my campaign, I agree with him when he says the rent is too damned high.  Anthony Weiner and I don’t see eye-to-eye on all of the issues, but that did not stop him from endorsing me last year. 

The person I am endorsing for mayor doesn’t currently live in New York City, but he had worked in Gotham for years.  He has fought crime better than any of the other candidates.  While he doesn’t currently live in New York, he is currently a mayor of a small town in Rhode Island.  He has had to battle issues like stolen water and sewage dumping, so he is ready to serve the fine people of New York City.

 

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

 

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2012 in Review – June

June was a slow month but it did have its good moments.  I did some campaigning in the eastern US and southeastern Canada.  Albee Thayer showed his ability to reach out to the zombie demographic.  I also received my first celebrity endorsement in a while.

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner caused controversy within his own party by endorsing Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for President.

June was a good month for campaigning in America but a bad month for campaigning in France and Germany.  Aside from confusing the last name of the President of France with a different European country, I also had problems with my laptop and phone.  The only person who was receiving my telepathic distress calls was a homeless man who was a Romney supporter.

June was also a good month for supporters to publicly show their vocal support like in the video below:

June did not end on a good note.  A heat wave in the east got to me, especially when I went to Washington DC to visit my daughter.  It was hot and humid, like something I never experienced living in DC before.

A Good Sex Scandal is Hard to Come By

One would have figured with the frequency I attend nudie bars that I would have been caught up in a sex scandal by now.  Or that a lonely housewife would have been attracted by my presidential appeal and would want to get involved in a little something-something while her husband was at work.

Albee Thayer suggested I hire a prostitute.  There are a couple problems with that approach.  The first problem is that it’s illegal in every state except Nevada.  The other problem is that I only want the sex so I can get caught in a scandal that would give my campaign publicity, it would mean that i would be spending money on my campaign.  I refuse to spend money on my campaign.

I don’t want to make it look like I am trolling for women for sex.  (Even though I am.)  I tried asking for booty pics until my campaign manager advised against it, citing that I look more like a dirty old man than a presidential candidate.  I was going to send pictures of myself, but we all know what happened when former Congressman Anthony Weiner sent his pics to women.

I won’t be campaigning during the week this week.  I will be spending this weekend in Delaware and next weekend in Rhode Island as I resume my “Three Electoral State Blitz” and try to win the election with winning the three and four electoral states, New Jersey, and New York.

2011 – The Debacle (April-June)

“Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom”

April was the month when I discovered that President Obama was a member of the Cinemafia and had no shame about it.   The Cinemafia was also active in censoring me from the mainstream media after this tweet of mine managed to slip into the airwaves:

May started the long string of debates I wasn’t invited to.  I did a tale of the tape comparing my policies to the Republican candidates and President Obama.  I discussed in detailed the death of traditional news as we know it.  The month invaded with Canada invading Atlanta again and stealing their hockey franchise.

June was a horrible month for me as I was unable to campaign much due to various injuries (hamstring, concussion, broken fingernail, etc.)  At least we don’t have to worry about Anthony Weiner or Rod Blagojevich in politics for a while.

 

Anthony Weiner’s Trouble With Democrats

Congressman Anthony Weiner confessed to sending inappropriate pictures of himself to women.  It is not those pictures that worry the Democratic Party leadership in Congress.  There is another picture (one that is not sexual in nature) that has the Democrats in a clamor.

Congressman Anthony Weiner caused controversy within his own party by endorsing Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for President.

It remains to be seen what damage this picture will do with the Congressman’s future as a Congressman and with the Democratic Party.  I thank him for the support he has decided to show despite his knowing the backlash it would cause.

Where Was I?

The biggest political story in years broke the other day and I did not comment on it.  I apologize for that, but after I explain why I couldn’t comment earlier, I think you will understand.

A picture was posted from Congressman Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account the other day.  (By the “Biggest” political story, I mean the story, not the contents of the photo.)  It was a picture of a man taking a picture of himself waist-down.  This picture was sent to a college woman in Oregon.

There were a couple things I had to check out before commenting:

• Making sure the picture wasn’t me – I may or may not have taken 75 pictures of myself waist-down with 60 of those pictures showing a bulge in the underpants.
• My Twitter account security –  I had to make sure that my account was secure enough that the only people who could access posting from my account are people with pictures and me and hotties they are following to send the pictures to.
• Answering media inquiries – I have to make sure that I conjure up better answers than Congressman Weiner has.  The first thing I will do is answer whether a picture is me or not.  I will pull my pants down and prove it if necessary.

These things all take time.  Most of the time was dedicated to crafting up sharp answers to potential questions.  Everything is now in place should there be flattering pictures of myself posted from my Twitter account.