2009 in Review (Part 2)

This review will cover April through June.  I found myself being more of a political activist towards causes I believe in. I also offered a comprehensive plan to stop foreclosures.

May was a month where I expanded my thought process.  I came up with a detailed plan to help seniors and went into deeper detail on my entire platform.

June was bad month personally.  I got burned out and joined an ashram.  June was also the last time I hosted my radio show.  I will resume the radio show in January (weather permitting).

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Busy Times Ahead

The frequency of my blogging may be limited over the next month.  It is a busy month for the campaign as I have the “Orgies for Abstinence” event coming up on Election night (this coming Tuesday).  I will be attending the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates from the 13th through the 21st in the Bahamas.

It will be a busy month in my personal and professional lives.  The meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates and Thanksgiving has caused all of my presentations to be moved up to the week of November 9.  I will be working many 16-hour days the next two weeks (except this Tuesday).  I will also have Patricia next weekend.

This is a hectic time and I might not be able to post every day.  I am letting you know now so you don’t think I returned to the ashram or anything silly like that.  Things will return to normal on Thanksgiving week.

For those who look forward to my weekly football picks, I will still do them.  The picks for Weeks 10 and 11 will both be posted on November 12.  The picks for Thanksgiving week will be posted the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

Back to the Grind

After a regrettable week in Oregon and a productive yet relaxing week at home, I am returning to work and the campaign trail.  I am fortunate not to lose any clients during my hiatus.  My campaign schedule is light this wee, with only a speech for the New Jersey Skiers’ Club scheduled for this week.  I have a full slate for next week and I will be bringing my daughter Patricia for the trip.  I never had her on any of my campaign stops before.  It will be fun having her along.

One of the few things I learned from my trip to the ashram is that I can learn from any experience I have.  I will take what I will learn from my trip to the topless bar tonight and apply it to my campaign.  Common sense would dictate that I would learn something about women’s issues, but I have learned that I have to be open and apply other parts of my campaign to tonight’s experience.

I will leave work early Friday because I have to picking up an embroidering machine and a silk printing machine I am renting for a week.  Patricia will be making embroidered caps and printed t-shirts for the campaign stops next week.  I plan on having 1,000 of each for Patricia to make.  It will be just like an arts-and-crafts camp, except that the things she will be making can actually be used.  It’s hard to believe she is six years old already.  It seems like only yesterday that her mother got me kicked out of the hospital when I came to visit Patricia following her birth.

The Trek Home

I have decided that enlightenment is not for me.  My brief time here saw many celebrities die.  Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all passed away in the week I was at the ashram.

I wanted to leave but the armed guards wouldn’t let me.   The only way out was by escape.  I volunteered to take out the garbage after dinner.  I did my impersonation of a father going out for ice cream and didn’t return.

The sun was setting in the western sky.  I am sure it was a beautiful sunset, but I didn’t know because I walked east.  I kept walking until I saw a motel.  It was a old building on the outside bordering on blight.  The inside was kept in good condition.  The motel is in a small town called “Bonanza.”  I would spend last night in Like the ashram, it was in the middle of nowhere.

I will soon head to Medford by bus.  From Medford,I will be taking a bus to Portland.  I will spend tonight in Portland and fly home tomorrow.

I’m a Presidential Candidate – Get Me Out of Here!

I will be heading home as soon as I know where I am.  The Sri Yogi Berra Ashram is not the least bit relaxing.  It wasn’t anything like the brochure I received when I bought the flowers at the airport.

It wasn’t the least bit relaxing.  There was a lot of chanting for some guy named, “Harry” but he was nowhere to be found.  The food here was horrible.  No beef of any kind, just curry and vegetables (some of which I can’t pronounce.)

There is no Wi-Fi or high speed internet in this area so I am blogging from a dial-up.  It takes 5 minutes to download a text e-mail.  The most modern technology around here is the Speak-and-Spell that was confiscated from a boy whose family came here just after I did.

This is painful.  My cell phone doesn’t work here.  It is so remote here that the world can blow up and we wouldn’t know here for years.  I hope I am not too far from Salem, where there were a few supporters from my campaign last year.

I would write more, but it will take a half hour just to upload this blog entry.

Off to the Ashram

I am heading off to an ashram in Oregon tomorrow.  I need some time off from campaigning and work  (and the lack of work).  I will be residing at the Sri Yogi Berra.  The ashram has enlightening chants like “batter batter batter…swing”.

The time off will be a spiritual awakening and will recharge my batteries.  (I am trying to live a green lifestyle and throwing away batteries fills landfills.)  The enlightenment I will receive will be worth the time I am taking off from campaigning.  My vision will be clearer and I will be running a fresher campaign which I hope will lead to victory in 2012.

I will miss interacting with you.  It will only be two weeks or three months.  Peace be with you.