Please – No More GOP Debates!

The GOP had their 20th debate last night.  One thing I noticed about many of these debates is how my health tends to deteriorate during debates.  I can’t explain it.  The same thing happened with the 2008 general debates between Senators Obama and McCain.

It would be easier to understand if I was on stage in any of these debates.  I haven’t been on stage for any debate except for the debate of Independent Presidential Candidates in 2009.  I did not get ill during that debate.

It would be easy to understand if I didn’t have a solid platform and wasn’t consistent in my beliefs (besides capital punishment which I still have no position).  But nobody has attacked my views on the issues during these debates.

It can’t be because I am live-commentating on the internet.  I have done that for other things without getting sick.  I have a talk show (it was on hiatus) that I talk live and take phone calls from whomever calls.  I do not have anybody to screen my calls, so I do not know who will call.  It could be an avid supporter, a citizen who wants to ask questions or a Howard Stern fan calling to say, “Baba Booey.”

I think what is making me sick is the questions being asked.  They keep asking about foreign policy and abortion and not questions about the issues people want to have answered: “How would you fight the Cinemafia”, “Does this pass the ‘Vanna’ test?”  “What would Joyce DeWitt do about a specified topic?” and other issues tugging at the hearts of Americans.

I was running a fever of 101.3F last night.  I felt fine before the debate and I feel fine now.  There is a debate scheduled for March 19.  This is after Super Tuesday.  If it looks like that either Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, or Vermin Supreme are going to run away with this, then it will be canceled.  If it’s still muddled after Super Tuesday, then it will be the last GOP debate.  I’ll be stocking up on Vitamin C just in case.

Advertisement

Foot in the Door

It took me a long time, but I finally got my name mentioned on TV.  Not just my name, but a quote I said.  It was read aloud AND it was shown on the screen with “AHMNODTHEARE” in caps.  Below is the tweet I sent:

The Question asked was: “Why are people so reluctant to prepare for an emergency before it happens?”

It was on MSNBC on Contessa Brewer’s show.  She read her question at the beginning of her show (Noon Mondays – Fridays) and reads the best replies at the end of her show.  The only bad part is that the Twitter readings aren’t posted on the web like other parts of the shows so I will be unable to post the video.

I should add that Drew Pelto doesn’t hate grasshoppers.  He was just reciting St. Urho’s chant: “Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen!” (“Grasshopper, grasshopper, go from hence to Hell!”),

It looks like the key to prolonged media exposure will be to go the “Baba Booey” route.  This is done by calling in to talk shows and greeting the show you are calling with “Ahmnodt Heare.”  This also works at work meetings when the manager asks if there are any questions.

I have a feeling that “Ahmnodt Heare” will be a household name by the Summer.  It is already a phrase used when someone calls a bar looking for their spouse.