Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Can It Get Any Worse?

I picked a bad week to have a bunch of things go wrong.  I was supposed to attend a rally at  a veteran’s hall in Washington Township, New Jersey.  Nobody told me that there are at least two Washington Townships in New Jersey.  This is worse than the Canadian Football League having two teams called the Rough Riders.  (Saskatchewan Rough Riders and Ottawa Rough Riders [now Renegades].)

The following also happened this weekend:

  • I ran out of gas trying to get from the wrong Washington Township to the correct Washington Township.  I ended up missing my own rally.  “I’m Not Here at an Ahmnodt Heare Rally” might as well been th headline in the newspapers.
  • My computer crashed – I am currently using my campaign manager’s old laptop (which is on its last legs.)  It is a Windows XP laptop and the Service Pack 2 was never updated or installed.  I ordered a custom-built laptop which I should get later this week.
  • The water pipe in my apartment is leaking.  This is bad news considering that my floor is concrete based and has to be taken out to get to the pipes.  My bedroom looks like an astroturf football after a soaking rain.
  • The Washington Redskins lost to the New York Giants 27-23 after taking a 23-20 lead with less than two minutes to go in the game.  This especially hurts considering I now live in New Jersey about an hour from the stadium.
  • No “Family Guy” tonight.   It has been preempted by the NLCS between the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants.

Before you answer the question, please note that it was a rhetorical question.  I am looking forward to debating tomorrow night (even if it’s the same way I had to debate the first two times and Albee Thayer had to debate in the Vice President Debate.  You are invited to join me even if the other candidates don’t want you to join them.


October 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, debate, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Can It Get Any Worse?

Aura of a Monday

Today is Saturday, though it has the look and feel of a Monday.  In fact, I’ve experienced more Monday before 9:00AM than I normally feel all day.

It started as soon as I woke up at 6:30.  I went to stretch my arms while yawning and one of my arms got caught in the blankets.  I managed to yank my arm out of the blankets, but somehow sprained my wrist.

I had just stepped in the shower when I heard a crash.  It wasn’t the crash of dishes hitting the ground.  It was a crash of one car hitting another car.  My daughter Patricia was soon pounding on the bathroom door screaming, “Daddy!  Daddy!  Someone hit your car!  Someone hit your car!”  I looked out the window and saw a car leave the driveway.  Patricia said the car was turning around and it hit my car while turning around.

It was time to walk the dog.  (I’m not one of those “Bring the dog everywhere you go” type of dog owners, but I couldn’t find anybody to watch him over the weekend.)  I put Murray on his leash and opened the door.  As I went to grab the pooper-scooper, Murray spotted a squirrel and tried to chase it.  He hurt his hind legs because I was holding on the leash tighter than normal.

I have had enough trauma for one day.  Now it’s time to bring Patricia to the mall to see Santa Claus.  Nothing is like going to the mall on Thanksgiving weekend.  Wish me luck.

November 27, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments


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