Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Two Cents on Stuff

Swine Flu – The news coverage was more sickening than the disease.  In the end of the month, we’ll get extensive coverage on sunburn as part of “May Sweeps” television networks have this time of year.

Climate Change – I can save the government a lot of money with this statement:  It gets hot in the summer, and changes to cold in the winter.

Arlen Specter – Changed parties but is still unwilling to make Vanna White Day a federal holiday.

Bailouts – Chrysler and GM received bailout funds.  Chrysler has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  GM probably will soon.  I make this pledge that if the government gives me $5 billion, I will never file for bankruptcy.

Barack Obama – He seems to be a good president, but his entire cabinet sucks.  So does Ben Bernanke and the Detroit Lions

May 4, 2009 Posted by | commentary, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ahmnodt for Commerce Secretary?

NOTE:  Special thanks to Debroah Elissmann for e-mailing President Obama and me for this idea.

Supporters have been bombarding President Obama with e-mails suggesting that I be the new Commerce Secretary.  Some suggested my name without giving too many details about my plan to stimulate the economy.  Debroah Ellismann (who wrote me on condition of anonymity) wrote a letter with some of the details of my plan.

Dear President Obama,

I don’t normally write letters to elected officials, but when I heard that Senator Gregg withdrew his name for consideration, I knew right away who the perfect replacement would be.  His name is Ahmnodt Heare.  Like you, he also ran for president in 2008.  He didn’t fare as well.  I think it was because he didn’t fully explain his economic policy until after the election.

Mr. Heare thinks outside of the box.  Sometimes, he’s so far outside, he can’t even see the box.  But once you hear his stimulus plan, I think you will agree that he would be the perfect candidate for the job.

A large portion of his plan involved bailing out companies that have already failed.  He believes that reviving a company that has failed, the companies will have to hire people to maintain the business.  By bringing back Dumont Television Network, there will have to be studios, actors for shows, news teams, and cleaning crews.  This will create the most jobs because failed companies need people most in order to succeed.

I know you are a busy man and I wish you the best of luck regardless of whom you choose.  Thank you for taking the time for reading this letter.

Sincerely,

Debroah Ellismann

I thank Debroah for her endorsement as well as all the other people who have written President Obama.  I know my plan will work.  Thank you all for your efforts.

February 13, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt for Commerce Secretary?

Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com

Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com.

I knew the economy was in bad shape, but I didn’t think it took 778 pages of legislation to fix it.  $827 billion isn’t what it used to be.  30 years ago, you could run the United States federal government on $827 billion.  Today, it only bails out a couple of companies.

It makes me wonder what is in the 778 pages.  I found a copy of the bill here.  I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but I am confident the funding for the Museum of the Pornographic Arts is included.  I think the clincher was the provision of a hands-on exhibit for the kids.

February 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com

A Way to Increase Government Revenue

I was watching former Senator Tom Daschle give a speech withdrawing his name for consideration for head of the Health and Human Services Department.  While I was watching, I thought how Treasury Secretary Tim Geitner had similar problems with taxes.  I thought deeper in the past and realized that Linda Chavez had similar problems when she was trying to be confirmed for a cabinet position in the Bush administration.

Here is my solution:  Make politicians pay their fair share of taxes.  When we are running deficits like we are, it is unfair for politicians to exploit loopholes in the tax system.  This is especially true in the loopholes they forgot to write or forgot didn’t become law.

While I am on the subject of money, I predict that those who will benefit the most from the stimilus package will be the lobbyists.  Maybe it is just coincidence, but they always seem to benefit the most.  I would veto any bill where lobbyists would benefit while Americans get screwed if I was elected president.

Remember me in the day, months, and years ahead as I will give commentary on what is happening and how I would do things differently.  I thank you for your continued support.

February 4, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, debt, economy, editorial, legislation, politics, satire, Washington | , , , , | 3 Comments

Ahmnodt Heare’s Job Program

Maybe it is just me, but you don’t revive the economy by giving large amounts of money to companies who are laying off employees and to banks who are not loosening lines of credit.  I have revealed portions of my plan in the past.  Today, I will tidy it all up.

My Bailout plan I mentioned in a previous post:

1) Bailout companies that are fiscally sound:  By giving responsible companies a couple billion dollars, they will have the capital required to create jobs.

2) Bailout defunct companies:  By bailing out companies that have gone by the wayside like Eastern Airlines and the horse-and-buggy industry, jobs that were lost will be revived.

My Jobs Program:

  • Barack Obama wants to create green jobs.  I will create jobs that will not discriminate against color.  Everybody needs work.
  • I would also create a lot of low paying jobs so employers can hire more people and we would have fewer people unemployed.
  • I will bring jobs for Americans by finding things to do and the people who need them done.  I will open training centers all over the country to train Americans vital jobs like flipping burgers, working a cash register, and stocking shelves.
  • I would replace NAFTA with USAFTA, a free trade agreement that would bring jobs to the United States.

Barack Obama has made his bed.  And he probably got the linen from a store that is soon going out of business.

January 9, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, issues, Obama, Platform, politics, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Censorship

Congressman John Hall debates Republican challenger Kieran Lalor on the Wall Street “bail out.” « Putnam Valley Democrats.

The Putnam County Democrats censored my reply to their video of Congressman John Hall (D-NY) supporting the ill-advised bailout of banks.  My reply was that the NY Times has an article that question where the bailout money went.

Does censoring my answer make the Democrats better than the Republicans?  Can’t they answer my criticism with something supporting their argument?

Let’s not assume that the Republicans are much better… because they’re not.  Both parties want to moderate replies because both parties have caused the economic debacle that we are facing.  The economy will get worse because the two parties of censorship are more interested in maintaining their image than to listen to ideas that will save our country.

December 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, debate, Democrats, editorial, issues, media, politics, Republicans | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Changing my Name

I am changing my name from Ahmnodt F. N. Heare to Chevy Ford Chrysler.  The plan is to confuse the person who writes out bailout checks.  When the check comes to me, I would take out $50 million of the $27 billion and return the rest to the government.  I would bail out the ailing prostitution industry and other industries the government is shy in bailing out.

December 10, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, issues, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Changing my Name

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