Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.


Conference Championships: 1-1 Playoffs 4-6

Best Bets 0-1 Playoffs 0-2

All those “two-a-days” back in July has come to this:  The Green Bay Packers led by Brett Favre Aaron Rodgers and the Pittsburgh Steelers led by Ben Roethlisberger.  Since there is only one game this week (The Redskins earned yet another bye), then I will give a quarter-by-quarter analysis of how I see the game going:

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
2/6 6:25 ET Green Bay -2.5 Pittsburgh

First Quarter: Third and goal on Packers 4:  Roethlisberger attempts to throws a post pattern to Hines Ward, only to be picked off by Charles Woodson in the end zone.  As Woodson runs out of the end zone, he is flattened by Flozell Adams and fumbles.  Rashard Mendenhall recovers the ball for an apparent touchdown, but Adams is called for holding.  First Quarter Score: Steelers 0 Packers 0.

Second Quarter: Dubbed as the “Most Boring Quarter in Super Bowl History”, the only “highlight” in this “three-and-out”-fest is an “illegal block in the back”  call on an 8-yard punt return.  Halftime Score:  Steelers 0 Packers 0.

Third Quarter: It’s the Rashard Mendenhall Show!  Mendenhall scores two rushing touchdowns in between a Packers field goal.  Third Quarter Score:  Steelers 14 Packers 3.

Fourth Quarter: Steelers about to put the game out of reach when a fat naked albino woman streaks across the field, making Roethlisberger queasy.  Clay Matthews Jr. intercepts a pass for a touchdown.  The play people will be talking about for decades will be Donald Driver throwing a touchdown pass to Aaron Rodgers, whom was wide open.   Final Score:  Steelers 14 Packers 17


February 4, 2011 Posted by | commentary, humor, NFL Picks | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Campaign Schedule Set

The days I will be campaigning between Wednesday and next Sunday have been set.  The times and exact locations have not been set, but will be by Monday.

Wednesday – Pittsburgh, PA (I will be discussing how the steel industry is a leading cause of air pollution.  I will also discuss the social ills of sexual misconduct among professional athletes.)

Thursday – Akron, OH (Was originally going to be in Cleveland, but changed location due to the LeBron James fiasco.  Turns out to be a bad idea because not only is Akron Cavaliers country, but it’s where LeBron was born and raised.)

Friday – Detroit, MI (I’ll think of something)

Saturday – Hamilton, ON (Where better to discuss my foreign policy than in a foreign country?  With some negotiations, the United States can divert going to was against our neighbors to the north.)

Sunday – Buffalo, NY (My birthplace   I was raised in Washington DC, but I was born in Buffalo as my parents were driving from Hamilton to what was supposed to be Albany, NY to visit my father’s old college roommate.  I was born in the car just before crossing the border {It took two hours to cross the border that day} and I stayed in a Buffalo hospital.

I am heading to bed.  I have a long day tomorrow…

July 10, 2010 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, foreign policy, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Campaign Schedule Set

An Open Letter to Brandon Marshall

NOTE: I am not a Denver Broncos fan, but while I am vacationing in Saguache County, CO, I figured writing a letter to Brandon Marshall is the least I can do considering that the fine people here went out of their way and wrote my name on their ballots when they could have voted for Barack Obama, John McCain, or Terrell Davis.

September 1, 2009

Dear Brandon Marshall or Current Resident,

It is my understanding that you are demanding a trade because you are unhappy playing for the Denver Broncos. While I do not know why you are not happy and your reasons can very well be valid, I would suggest you try your hardest to work through the situation.

I watched the game between the Broncos and the Chicago Bears on Sunday night. The second half featured players who will mostly become house painters and carpenters next month. They may understand the team concept, but they don’t have enough talent to be an NFL star. You have the talent, but unless you understand teamwork, you will end up being a house painter or a carpenter. You need talent and teamworkship (is that a word?) to make it in the NFL.

Ben Roethlisberger is a great quarterback, but he needed teammates and his teammates needed him in order to win the Super Bowl. Nobody can win by himself. This is why every one of the Detroit Lions’ opponents suited up the entire team to play against them.

If you play hard and practice hard as well as being a good teammate, you will get a well-deserved contract as a free agent when your contract expires. However, if you keep acting the way you are acting, you’ll soon be working in a different line of work making significantly less money. These are the facts of life (only without Tootie.)

I wish you the best of luck.

Ahmnodt Heare
Independent Candidate for President

P.S. I would be honored to have your endorsement for President.

September 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, endorsement, humor, Obama, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on An Open Letter to Brandon Marshall


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