The New Battle Part I
There are two topics that I would like to discuss because the other candidates will not take the time to address. “Black Friday” and “Pop-Up Ads.” These need to be addressed because they bother me and they probably bother you as well. I will cover “Black Friday” today.
Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving in the United States or the day after Columbus Day in Canada) is traditionally the day that retail stores make a profit for the year as more people shop on that day than on any other day of the year.
It used to be that stores would start decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving week. Most stores are fully decorated for Christmas by Halloween and some stores start decorating as soon as the Back-to-School sales period ends.
Once upon a time, Black Friday sales started on Friday. It started at Noon many years ago, Than it got moved to 8:00AM, than 6AM, than 5AM, and finally, Midnight. The retail stores realized that they were running out of Friday to start. Black Friday started at 8:00PM a few years ago and 6:00PM last year.
It was bad enough having to stay up to get in line for a Black Friday sale in the cold Northeastern nights. Moving it to Thanksgiving Thursday cuts into very valuable time with the family watching football.
Here is my plan to stop Black Friday Sales during football Thanksgiving: I will boycott and store that has a Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday. This boycott will not just be for Black Friday. It will not be just for the holiday season. It will be for as long as they insist on ruining the Thanksgivings of their employees and of the loved ones of people who shop on Thursday.
Thanksgiving Before Christmas
Please forgive my tardiness for this post, but it could be applied for future holiday seasons. I have come up with a proposal that will make things more sane in future Thanksgiving weekends. But it will require action (or more accurately, inaction) on your part. It will also have to do some publicity so that everybody will know we mean business. Below are some of my demands – if you have any you wish to add, please feel free to add them in the comments section.
- No Christmas / Holiday ads until after the Thanksgiving Day Parade. The Christmas / Holiday season shall be kicked off when Santa Claus ends the parade and enters Macy’s (and not before.)
- No Black Friday sales until 6:00AM the Friday after Thanksgiving. This is not just for the shoppers, but for store employees who want to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families.
- I know that turkeys are a part of the Thanksgiving tradition, but could Fox Sports have someone else besides Joe Buck and Troy Aikman brodcast the Thanksgiving games? Those are not the turkeys Americans want to see.
I plan on boycotting any company who runs Christmas / Holiday ads before noon on Thanksgiving. I also plan on boycotting any store that has their Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday morning for the entire holiday season. Although I will not boycott games broadcast with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, I will watch the game with the volume off. Advertisers will have a hard time getting me to buy their stuff if I can’t hear the commercials.
If this is something you are interested in, please let me know and I will start a formal petition to give to stores and companies who run Christmas ads.
Some Gift Ideas
Instead of waking up at 3AM on Friday for the Black Friday Shopping mayhem, sleep in and buy some nice gifts from the Ahmnodt Heare store. The items pictured below have the new slogan. To see items with the old logo, check out http://www.cafepress.com/ahmnodt.This teddy bear is so cute. Even the low price of $14.99 is cute. Buy one for your loved one and one for yourself for less than a cinemafia-endorsed night of “entertainment.”
This coffee mug is a great ice-breaker for showing your support at work. There is no better way to show your love than to say “Ahmnodt Heare for You.”
Learning From Ferguson
It is unfortunate that Americans have not learned from Rodney King and Trayvon Martin. Once again, cars were set on fire and businesses were looted. There has to be a stop to this. In order to stop history from repeating itself, one has to get to the root of the cause and spread Roundup weed killer on it until the root is dead. Here is how I would handle things to make sure this doesn’t happen again:
Reading the Verdict – Have the verdict read in the morning before 10:00AM. Nobody likes rioting when one is tired and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.
Keep it Peaceful – Most of the greatest achievements towards equality were the result of peaceful actions like Martin Luther King. People have no sympathy for those who choose to act like they are in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Focus Your Anger – Instead of burning everybody’s cars and looting businesses, take out your hostility on those who caused you to feel hostile. Don’t burn down your neighborhood. It keeps the police around too long. Instead, hold a sit-in at a courthouse or police station. And although the Department of Motor Vehicles usually has nothing to do with these situations, have a sit-in there too. You will get supporters because everybody hates the DMV. (Even the people who work there.)
If you are a district attorney, please don’t give a case to a grand jury with the intent with hoping that they will not indict the defendant when the defendant has allegedly caused death or injury to a person.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and may your Black Friday shopping be less of a riot than what Ferguson went through.
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November 25, 2014 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | Black Friday, courthouse, Department of Motor Vehicles, Ferguson, looting, Missouri, peace, police station, Quentin Tarantino, riots, Rodney King, Roundup weed killer, Thanksgiving, Trayvon Martin | Comments Off on Learning From Ferguson