Attention App Developers

It is time to take the campaign to the next level.  Thus far the campaign has been available in blog, podcast, telepathic, and social networking forms.  The next step is logical – a phone app.  I would like to learn how to write code for phone apps.  I have some programming experience (COBOL, BASIC, HTML).

There are a few reasons why I want to learn the programming:

• I am a fiscal conservative – Because i am a fiscal conservative, I cannot spend money to pay somebody to create the app for me.
• Control of content – It is not only important that the message gets out.  The presentation is just as important as the message itself.  The look, frequency of updates, glitches, and ease of use are also important.  By programming it myself, I will be showing that I am in touch with average Americans.
• Business – Making apps can be a marketing tool I could use for my business’s clients.
• Classified – Sjkdjvn sdkjkj wasao kjkjcssasx.

If you know how to make phone apps for Iphone, Android, Blackberry, or Can-to-Can, are willing to teach me how to make apps, and live near northwestern New Jersey, please reach me through any method mentioned in my “Contact” tab.

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A Couple of Differences

I am still at the Ashram and will be here for another week.  Finding time to sneak off the commune and blog is difficult.  I am getting used to being here, but there are a few differences.

• The people here like Deepak Chopra.  I like a Six-Pack while watching Oprah.
• While we both hate the Cinemafia, they hate all movies (though a few people like “Bollywood” movies, whatever that is.)
• I do not find yoga to be relaxing.  I have a difficult time getting from one position to another.  I often find myself in the fetal position after the yoga class.
• I have a hard time putting on a robe.  I have a harder time taking off my robe.  I find it almost impossible to take a robe off a woman here.
• They eat blackberries.  I talk and text on a Blackberry.

They are pretty nice people (except for the guards with the guns.)  I enjoy the reciting of the sayings of Yogi Berra.  Yesterday’s saying was “If you don’t know where you are going, you might not get there.”  Yogi Berra is an enlightened man.

Bedside Manner

I will be blogging from my bed for the next couple of days.  I went to a “Hello Kitty” meetup at Chuck E. Cheese.  I got in an accident on my way home from the meetup.  My car was hit from behind.  My back is very stiff.  The woman who hit me was in bad shape.  She was texting somebody while driving when she rammed me.  She wasn’t wearing a seat belt and was knocked unconsious.   When the police checked her out, they noticed a Blackberry on her lap.  The display read, “LOL”.

She is doing fine now and will be released from the hospital tomorrow morning.  I’ll be fine with some bed rest.  Karilyn, if you’re reading this, the only thing I will be able to do in bed for the next couple days is sleep and blog.  I am sorry.

Adding Security Features

I have decided to add encryption features on my computer, my cell phone, and my Speak and Spell.  I can not afford another episode like the hacking episode last May.  My campaign continues to grow and my opponents are now beginning to notice.  While I don’t have the NSA to encrypt my communications like one of my opponents, I will have top-notch encryption.

The encryption will work like this:

If I type something like:

My campaign schedule will bring me to Kansas, Michigan, and Oregon.

The encryption will look like this:

jghgfhgghfghjgahmnodtheareisastudnmmnbcvxfgfhj

I will continue to step up and meet the challenges of my opponents and of America.  I thank you for your continued support.